Where do new basketball/hockey players get their uniforms from?
If a Hockey Player Smokes Weed Before a Game...
...are they always high sticking?
Relationships between hockey 🏒 players and figure skaters are always doomed to failure.
No one is willing to break the ice.
What do you call a hockey player that raps?
I'm running a D&D campaign and I figured out the best riddle for the players to solve to open a door.
"Take thine father's blade and ascend!"
>!The solution is Pa's Sword 1234!<
A hockey player collided with another player on the ice and knocked out a few of his teeth.
However it was acci-dental.
Two limbo players walk into a bar
I’m not the world’s biggest hockey fan
I only watch it periodically.
Did you hear about the basketball player who tried to shoot hoops on a hockey rink?
I went into the pharmacy and asked the assistant, "What is the best thing for killing germs?"
"Ammonia cleaner." She replied.
I said, "Sorry, I thought you worked here."
This may not be the right sub for this, if so mods do your thing but my girlfriend, who has worked hard all her life to be a top ranked tennis player, just broke up with me.
I guess love means nothing to her.
At what temperature does car engines work best at?
Did you hear about the benefit hockey game for leprosy?
There was a face off in the corner.
What's the best time of day on a clock?
Why do tennis players make terrible partners?
Because to them, love means nothing
Recently found out that Stan Lee was an exceptional hockey player.
At his very first practice, he already had the Stanley Cup..
Undoubtedly, blue is the best color...
...it's been cyantifically proven.
Why do hockey players wear so many pads?
Because they have 3 periods a game.
The player who scored Ukraine's winning goal against Sweden has dedicated his goal to his girlfriend in the capital city
He's very fond of his chick in Kiev!
Origami masters make for terrible poker players.
I got fired at the bank today...
An elderly woman came in and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Former baseball player Curt Schilling, former Vice President Mike Pence, and Hong Kong Actor Donnie Yen walk into a bar.
They don't order anything, because between the three of them they don't have a dollar to their name.
The toothbrush was invented by a retired hockey player
Otherwise it would be called a teethbrush wouldn't it?
Which soccer player plays the dirtiest?
Why did the guitar player refuse to take a loan ?
Because he wanted no strings attached.
6:30 is the best time on a clock.
What pan is the best to make sushi in?
Being a Stepdad isn’t easy, but coming down and opening up a World’s Best Dad card and aftershave.. wow, what a feeling!
.. turns out it was for Liam’s biological Dad and I had to re-wrap it but still had a lovely day.
After numerous icings in a hockey game, a player was sent to the penalty box.
He needed time to thaw out.
Why did the baseball player leave to go to his moms house in the middle of the game?
Why can’t tennis players sleep well?
Why is leather the best clothing to wear when breaking into a house?
Because it is made out of hide.
The best relationships are formed on a roof.
That way I know it was built on truss.
Why did the record get mad talking to the record player?
Because every conversation they had went in circles.
Why do tennis players bounce the ball ?
Why did the billiards player take so long to take his shot?
He was waiting for his cue.
Did you hear about the soccer team with the telekinetic player?
They keep winning due to their psy-kick.
Grandma Jokes anyone? Hit me with your best dad jokes for my Grandma who loves dumb jokes and needs some laughs
I hope this type of post is allowed!
I am going to visit my grandma this Tuesday to say goodbye to her. She is 87 and very ill, she is mentally still with it but in a lot of pain. She sounds at peace, I think she is just doing her best to hang on til we can get to her.
My grandma loves stupid jokes, dad jokes, puns, all that stuff. I’d love to share some laughs with her when I say goodbye. Hit me with your favorite and dumbest dad jokes and I will share the best ones with her.
Thank you Reddit fam!
Heat pipe is one of the best heat conductors BTW.
What's the best cereal to eat while watching a movie?
Do you know the best thing about Elevator jokes?
They work on so many levels
After being single for years, my best friend said, "Can I set you up?
I said "Go on then!!"
Now I'm doing 12 years for a crime I didn't commit.
What’s the best kind of turd to eat with a hotdog?
Never marry a tennis player
Love means nothing to them
Never date a tennis player
Love means nothing to them
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