Best Cooking Puns

All about that baste.

They're both cauldron.

Call it ... Thai Masters!

Meaty-yum!

a Croc-pot

They are cooked in Greece

Gordon Ramesses

They turn average ingredients into a mean meal even with a bad Range.

Paellontologists

It was a toxic environment

It was Chewie

Japan

I said, "in a croc pot".

For a-salting the chicken

FRYday

Because it's For a Yam!

180°

I'm a son without a father... I lost him a few days ago to a heart attack and I just... can't stop crying

We both used to check out this sub daily for amazing dad jokes and laugh at them together... We'd try to form our own stupid stuff

I used to wake up for college early in the morning I'd cook some breakfast for him get ready and before leaving I'd wake him up and tell him a stupid dad joke... I'd want to see him start his day with a smile

I just want to thank you all in this sub for giving me and my dad happiness your jokes made us laugh at our worst times

Out of habit I keep getting up to go to his room with a dad joke... Only to see it empty

I'm never gonna get to mess around with my dad again... I'm never going to hang out with him again he's not going to be there to see me grow up and buy a house of my own ... He's not going to see me buy a car of own ... He's not going to see me get married... He's gone forever and I will never get to start my day with a smile again from a silly dad joke with him

He wasn't the greatest dad but he certainly was the best I could ever ask for ... I will miss you dad

Thank you r/dadjokes to all the amazing dads here and their funny and stupid jokes

Edit : thank you so much dad's for your overwhelming support I love you guys and I just want to take a moment to thank all the people here who shared their experiences as well of having lost a parent... Your story inspires me to continue forward with the torch

Also I'm seeing quite a few comments saying the post is not funny and that they came for a laugh... I'm truly sorry about that, I just really wanted to honor my dad in this sub since we spent so much time together here scrolling for jokes and I needed the push from you dads to get back on my feet

I'm never going to be the same that's for sure knowing a peice of me has been lost forever... The void will never be filled in my heart But your support is just what I needed, once again thank you dads I love you

Edit 2: thank you so much dads for your overwhelming support I know I haven't been able to respond to all the dms and messages here but I've been reading them all and it's just made me smile in the worst Thank you dads you guys are the best

Fry-day :)

Pleasant company, the bright part of any party, absolutely Dee lightful

She can carry almost anything and ensure it's Dee livered

As an amazing cook, she is Dee licious

Her life is in sections, lots of Dee partments

As an expert in CPR, she is Dee fibulator

Her disappearing act is one of the best when she Dee materializes

While working for the CIA, lots of documents were Dee classified

It will be bursting with flavor!

And for your convenience, it's all within the same hotdog!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

They make so much dough.

but it’s been a real wok in the park.

Sir I

and some of the others:

- The knight who cooks steaks the best: Sir Loin

- The knight who is always confident: Sir Tain

- The knight who charges you extra on top of the original price every time: Sir Charge

- The knight who operates on other knights after every battle: Sir Geon

- The knight who didn't take many chances: Sir Cumspect

- The knight who has the loudest battle cry: Sir En

- The knight who was afraid to fight: Sir Render

- The unbelievable knight: Sir Real

- The knights were so large that they sat around the a table by themselves: Sir Round and Sir Cumference

- The undercover knight: Sir Vallence

- The knight who came to an untimely end: Sir Cease

- The knight who never got killed in battle: Sir Vivor

- The knight who always guessed right: Sir Miser

- The knight who exceeded expectations: Sir Past

- The knight who overcame obstacles: Sir Mount

- The knight who showed up unexpectedly: Sir Prise

- The knight who funded the castle's operations: Sir Tax

- The knight who kept the kingdom maps up to date: Sir Veyor

- The knight who drank too much: Sir Rhosis

- The knight who always called on as the first substitute: Sir Rogate

- The knight who is the most outstanding knight: Sir Perb

- The hardest knight of them all: Sir Amic

- The knight who was most at home in a 3-ring castle: Sir Cus

- The saddest knight: Sir Rowful

- The extra knights: Sir Perfluous and Sir Penumerary

- The dancing knight (who was a cousin to Sir Lancelot) : Sir Prance Alot

- The one who also known as the Knight of Scales, Fangs, and Coils: Sir Pent

He comes upon a monastery. Desperately tired and hungry, he knocks on the door and shortly after a solemn monk appears.

The man asks if he can come in to rest and get something to eat. The monk replies, “Of course! But all we have to eat is fish and chips.” The monk takes the man to the dining hall where the other monastics are already assembled for dinner.

After the meal the man exclaims, “That was the best meal I have ever had! I must meet the cook.”

Soon after, a portly gentleman emerges from the kitchen and greets the man. The man asks, “Are you the fish fryer?” To which the cook responds:

“No. I’m the chip monk”

From animal puns, we bring for you this funniest bundle of cow puns

How does a cow get to the mooooon? It flies through udder space!

What happens when you talk to a cow? It goes in one ear and out the udder!

What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.

What is a cows favorite colour? Maroooooooon.

Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow? Peanut butter.

What do u call a really strong cow? Beefy.

What do you get when you walk under a cow? A pat on the head.

How does lady gaga like her steak? Raw raw raw raw raw.

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it didnt want Lady Gaga to make a meat dress out of him.

What are a cows favorite subjects in school? Moosic, psycowolgy, cowculus

What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!

What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Udder-Catastrophe

Where do you find the most cows? Moo-York

What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever

Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!

Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!

Why doesn’t Sweden export it’s cattle? It wants to keep it’s Stockholm!

What is the definition of “moon”? The past tense of “moo”!

Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress? She was charged with rustling!

Why was the calf afraid? He was a cow-herd!

Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!

What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!

What’s the best way to make a bull sweat ? Put him in a tight jumper !

What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a

What does a cow make when the sun comes out? A shadow

What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather.

What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!

What did the calf say to the silo? “Is my fodder in there?”

What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!

Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!

What’s a cow’s favorite moosi

Why didn’t the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!

Whats green and smells like bacon?  Kermit the Frog’s finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?

Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.

Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu?  Kevin Bacon

If you can’t get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries

Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.

Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.

Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.

What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.

How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.

What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.

What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you’re bacon my heart melt.

What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.

First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trump’s cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.

Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.

If Kevin Bacon doesn’t whisper “Here comes the Baconator” before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost

I’ll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge that’s not bacon

If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?

This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.

If we don’t build a wall on our northern border, they’ll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.

I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.

My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaver…because I’m Canadian.

When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know you’re getting extr

Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.

Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!

Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!

For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers

This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues

“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.

Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!

I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.

How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!

When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day

What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!

What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood

What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us

What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”

Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).

How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.

I’m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do… by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,

Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?” The other monster replied, “Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.

The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you’re not will lead to a sweet reward.

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.

I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I’m dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.

Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.

What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!

What do Italian’s eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)

Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!

What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi

What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween!!

What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.

They are both cauldron.

They're both cauldron.

They're both cauldron.

They're both cauldron.

They're both cauldron.

They're both cauldron.

They’re both cauldron.

They're both Cauldron.

In a croc pot.

In a crock pot.

japan

Fry-day.