Below is a list of the players that have played in the Premier League era. You don't have to pick for every question.

1. My favourite goal was scored by this player.

2. This player best represents Spurs identity to me.

3. I want to get a pint with this guy.

4. Who the fuck is this guy?

5. I'd give this player to Arsenal, to make them worse

Paul Stewart / Paul Walsh / Terry Fenwick / Guðni Bergsson / Erik Thorstvedt / David Howells / Gary Lineker / Pat Van Den Hauwe / Nayim / Steve Sedgley / Justin Edinburgh / Gordon Durie / Ian Walker / Nicky Barmby / Dean Austin / Sol Campbell / Teddy Sheringham / Darren Anderton / Colin Calderwood / Stephen Carr / Ronnie Rosenthal / Jürgen Klinsmann / Ruel Fox / Chris Armstrong / Andy Sinton / Allan Nielsen / Steffen Iversen / David Ginola / Stephen Clemence / Les Ferdinand / Øyvind Leonhardsen / Steffen Freund / Chris Perry / Tim Sherwood / Mauricio Taricco / Ledley King / Neil Sullivan / Gary Doherty / Sergei Rebrov / Simon Davies / Anthony Gardner / Gus Poyet / Christian Ziege / Kasey Keller / Jamie Redknapp / Robbie Keane / Frédéric Kanouté / Michael Carrick / Paul Robinson / Jermain Defoe / Mido / Teemu Tainio / Lee Young-pyo / Tom Huddlestone / Jermaine Jenas / Michael Dawson / Aaron Lennon / Dimitar Berbatov / Pascal Chimbonda / Didier Zokora / Benoît Assou-Ekotto / Darren Bent / Gareth Bale / Younès Kaboul / Alan Hutton / Jonathan Woodgate / Vedran Ćorluka / Niko Kranjčar / Luka Modrić / Roman Pavlyuchenko / David Bentley / Heurelho Gomes / Andros Townsend / Ryan Mason / Peter Crouch / Wilson Palacios / Sébastien Bassong / Kyle Walker / Rafael van der Vaart / Sandro / Danny Rose / Scott Parker / Emmanuel Adebayor / Harry Kane / Gylfi Sigurðsson / Mousa Dembélé / Hugo Lloris / Jan Vertonghen / Harry Winks / Paulinho / Christian Eriksen / Nabil Bentaleb / Nacer Chadli / Roberto Soldado / Erik Lamela / Eric Dier / Ben Davies / Toby Alderweireld / Dele Alli / Son Heung-min / Kieran Trippier / Moussa Sissoko / Victor Wanyama / Davinson Sánchez / Serge Aurier / Lucas Moura / Giovani Lo Celso / Tanguy Ndombele / Steven Bergwijn / Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg /

#FT: 90' Ajax 2 - 0 Besiktas

Round: Group Stage - 2
Time: 16:45 (UTC)
Referee: Benoît Bastien, France
Venue: Johan Cruijff Arena

###RECENT FORM

Ajax: W

Besiktas: L

###LINE-UPS

Ajax - 4-2-3-1

Starting XI: Remko Pasveer, Noussair Mazraoui, Jurriën Timber, Lisandro Martínez, Daley Blind, Edson Álvarez, Ryan Gravenberch, Antony, Steven Berghuis, Dušan Tadić, Sébastien Haller

Substitutes: Jay Gorter, Charlie Setford, Perr Schuurs, Nicolás Tagliafico, Devyne Rensch, Davy Klaassen, Kenneth Taylor, Mohammed Daramy, Mohammed Kudus, David Neres, Zakaria Labyad, Danilo

Coach: E. ten Hag

^____________________________

Besiktas - 4-1-4-1

Starting XI: Ersin Destanoğlu, Valentin Rosier, Serdar Saatçı, Fabrice N'Sakala, Cengiz Umut Meraş, Souza, Kenan Karaman, Can Bozdoğan, Salih Uçan, Rıdvan Yılmaz, Michy Batshuayi

Substitutes: Mert Günok, Oğuzhan Özyakup, Gökhan Töre, Berkay Vardar, Demir Ege Tıknaz, Emirhan Delibas

Coach: S. Yalçın

###MATCH STATS:

###MATCH EVENTS

0' KICKOFF!

17' GOAL! Scored by S. Berghuis (Ajax)

43' GOAL! Scored by S. Haller (Ajax)

46' Substitution: G. Töre for R. Yılmaz (Besiktas)

46' Substitution: O. Özyakup for S. Uçan (Besiktas)

63' Yellow Card for Besiktas

71' Substitution: David Neres for Antony (Ajax)

71' Substitution: D. Klaassen for S. Berghuis (Ajax)

73' Substitution: B. Vardar for U. Meraş (Besiktas)

76' Yellow Card for C. Bozdoğan (Besiktas)

90' Yellow Card for M. Batshuayi (Besiktas)

90' Match whistled off

—

^[ ^(All data provided by) ^(MatchCaster) ^(*, a next level football threading bot - fully configurable and customized threads controlled by moderators of this subreddit.

#FT: AS Monaco 2-1 Real Sociedad

AS Monaco scorers: Kevin Volland (28'), Youssouf Fofana (37')

Real Sociedad scorers: Alexander Isak (35')

Venue: Stade Louis II

Auto-refreshing reddit comments link

LINE-UPS

AS Monaco

Alexander Nübel, Benoit Badiashile (Axel Disasi), Guillermo Maripán, Caio Henrique, Djibril Sidibé, Kevin Volland (Chrislain Matsima), Jean Lucas, Youssouf Fofana, Wissam Ben Yedder (Myron Boadu), Sofiane Diop (Gelson Martins), Aleksandr Golovin (Eliot Matazo).

Subs: Maghnes Akliouche, Vito Mannone, Ruben Aguilar, Strahinja Pavlovic, Ismail Jakobs, Radoslaw Majecki, Wilson Isidor.

^____________________________

Real Sociedad

Mat Ryan, Robin Le Normand, Aritz Elustondo, Aihen Muñoz, Joseba Zaldúa (Gorosabel), Martín Zubimendi, Mikel Merino (Beñat Turrientes), David Silva (Ander Barrenetxea), Alexander Isak (Alexander Sørloth), Mikel Oyarzabal, Adnan Januzaj (Portu).

Subs: Igor Zubeldia, Diego Rico, Robert Navarro, Ander Guevara, Álex Remiro, Unai Marrero, Jon Pacheco Dozagarat.

MATCH EVENTS | via ESPN

15' Guillermo Maripán (Monaco) is shown the yellow card.

28' Goal! Monaco 1, Real Sociedad 0. Kevin Volland (Monaco) right footed shot from very close range to the centre of the goal.

33' Aleksandr Golovin (Monaco) is shown the yellow card.

35' Goal! Monaco 1, Real Sociedad 1. Alexander Isak (Real Sociedad) right footed shot from the centre of the box to the bottom right corner. Assisted by Adnan Januzaj with a through ball.

37' Goal! Monaco 2, Real Sociedad 1. Youssouf Fofana (Monaco) header from very close range to the top left corner. Assisted by Benoît Badiashile with a headed pass following a set piece situation.

44' Joseba Zaldua (Real Sociedad) is shown the yellow card for a bad foul.

45' Substitution, Real Sociedad. Andoni Gorosabel replaces Joseba Zaldua.

45' Substitution, Real Sociedad. Ander Barrenetxea replaces David Silva.

58' Adnan Januzaj (Real Sociedad) is shown the ye

Third matchday in a week for the L1 teams before some of them will travel this week for their second european group stage week. Has PSG managed to do a perfect 8/8 ? Have Metz, Brest and Saint-Étienne finally succeeded in their quest for a first win this season ?

Appetizers

• Just as things were starting to look a little better for Saint-Étienne, as the performance against Monaco was much better than recently despite the loss, this weekend put a brutal end to any form of optimism. Les Verts were eviscerated by Nice 3-0 at home on saturday with the Gouiri-Delort duo each scoring a goal, with the first one from Calvin Stengs in addition. At the end of the match, the players were forced to go see their supporters to give them an explanation about what's happening currently (5 losses in a row). Next match is the Derby against Lyon, a do or die situation for Claude Puel and his men.

• Slowly but steadily, Lille are starting to look better and better. Away in Strasbourg they had their best performance of the season which allowed them to lead 2-0 with a brace from Jonathan David. Only the last 15 minutes looked shaky as the alsatians pushed to equalize after Ibrahima Sissoko's goal. With Burak Yilmaz on the bench for the entirety of the match, the young attacking duo David-Weah lit the match on fire to get an important result before a crucial week in which they'll have to face RB Salzburg and Marseille.

• Paris SG also produced their best game so far against Montpellier who were reduced to sparring partners during almost the entirety of the match. Despite Neymar and Mbappé missing basically everything they tried, which led to the score remaining 1-0 for far too long, the rest of the team clearly stepped up. The main symbol of it is Kimpembe who, after a worrying start of the season, is finally getting back to his level. Idrissa Gueye opened the score with a rocket under the bar. Julian Draxler, 19 seconds after entering the pitch and on his first touch, doubled it right before the end of the match.

• Meanwhile, Lyon somehow managed to get a draw at home against Lorient, in a match where basically everything went against them. After only 15 minutes, Emerson Palmieri was sent off even though his "foul" as a last defender wasn't clear (and the Lorient player had lost the ball anyway). The subsequent freekick was surgically launched under Lopes' crossbar by Armand Laurienté, with his now famous Juninhesque technique. At the same time, Denayer left the pit

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

They’re on standbi

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

[UEFA Europa League - 2021/2022]

#Monaco 2-1 Real Sociedad

Match Info:

Lineups:

Monaco - 4-2-3-1

Starting XI: Alexander Nübel, Djibril Sidibé, Guillermo Maripán, Benoît Badiashile, Caio Henrique, Youssouf Fofana, Jean Lucas, Aleksandr Golovin, Kevin Volland, Sofiane Diop, Wissam Ben Yedder

Substitutes: Vito Mannone, Radosław Majecki, Strahinja Pavlović, Chrislain Matsima, Ruben Aguilar, Axel Disasi, Eliot Matazo, Maghnes Akliouche, Ismail Jakobs, Gelson Martins, Wilson Isidor, Myron Boadu

Coach: N. Kovač

Real Sociedad - 4-3-3

Starting XI: Mathew Ryan, Joseba Zaldúa, Aritz Elustondo, Robin Le Normand, Aihen Muñoz, David Silva, Martín Zubimendi, Mikel Merino, Adnan Januzaj, Alexander Isak, Mikel Oyarzabal

Substitutes: Unai Marrero, Álex Remiro, Diego Rico, Jon Pacheco Dozagarat, Igor Zubeldia, Andoni Gorosabel, Beñat Turrientes, Ander Guevara, Robert Navarro, Portu, Alexander Sørloth, Ander Barrenetxea

Coach: Imanol Alguacil

Match Stats:

Match events

0' KICKOFF!

15' Yellow Card for G. Maripán (Monaco)

28' GOAL! Scored by K. Volland (Monaco)

33' Yellow Card for A. Golovin (Monaco)

35' GOAL! Scored by A. Isak (Real Sociedad)

38' GOAL! Scored by Y. Fofana (Monaco)

44' Yellow Card for Zaldúa (Real Sociedad)

46' Substitution: Gorosabel for Zaldúa (Real Sociedad)

46' Substitution: Barrenetxea for David Silva (Real Sociedad)

58' Yellow Card for A. Januzaj (Real Sociedad)

66' Substitution: Beñat Turrientes for Mikel Merino (Real Sociedad)

68' Substitution: A. Disasi for B. Badiashile (Monaco)

73' Substitution: A. Sørloth for A. Isak (Real Sociedad)

75' Yellow Card for Martín Zubimendi (Real Sociedad)

75' Substitution: Portu for A. Januzaj (Real Sociedad)

76' Substitution: M. Boadu for W. Ben Yedder (Monaco)

76' Substitution: Gelson Martins for S. Diop (Monaco)

89' Red Card for Y. Fofana (Monaco)

90' Substitution: E. Matazo for A. Golovin (Monaco)

90' Substitution:

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Fenerbahçe 1 - 0 HJK Helsinki

Fenerbahçe scorers: Muhammad Gümüşkaya (65')

Venue: Şükrü Saracoğlu Stadium, Istanbul, Turkey

Referee: Benoît Bastien (France)

Fenerbahçe:

Manager: Vitor Pereira (Portugal)

HJK Helsinki:

Manager: Toni Koskela (Finland)

MATCH EVENTS

1': We're off!

19': Gustavo fires from distance, right down the middle, easy save.

22': Jair sends a shot for Helsinki over the bar.

28': Özil with the shot! Only hits the side nettin

Bob

Just to clarify, 12345678

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

"That's what they're fighting about."

free

#FT: Ajax 2 - 0 Besiktas

Round: Group Stage - 2
Referee: Benoît Bastien, France
Venue: Johan Cruijff Arena

###LINE-UPS

Ajax - 4-2-3-1

Starting XI: Remko Pasveer, Noussair Mazraoui, Jurriën Timber, Lisandro Martínez, Daley Blind, Edson Álvarez, Ryan Gravenberch, Antony, Steven Berghuis, Dušan Tadić, Sébastien Haller

Substitutes: Jay Gorter, Charlie Setford, Perr Schuurs, Nicolás Tagliafico, Devyne Rensch, Davy Klaassen, Kenneth Taylor, Mohammed Daramy, Mohammed Kudus, David Neres, Zakaria Labyad, Danilo

Coach: E. ten Hag

^____________________________

Besiktas - 4-1-4-1

Starting XI: Ersin Destanoğlu, Valentin Rosier, Serdar Saatçı, Fabrice N'Sakala, Cengiz Umut Meraş, Souza, Kenan Karaman, Can Bozdoğan, Salih Uçan, Rıdvan Yılmaz, Michy Batshuayi

Substitutes: Mert Günok, Oğuzhan Özyakup, Gökhan Töre, Berkay Vardar, Demir Ege Tıknaz, Emirhan Delibas

Coach: S. Yalçın

###MATCH STATS:

###PLAYER MATCH STATS

Ajax

Besiktas