His average friend was nonplussed with a B, and his skinny friend would always be negative about her B-
A mumble bee.
That's when I realised I was playing the Bee side.
The man asks "is this good for wasps?"
The cashier says "no sir, it kills them"
So I said “Bee-gone” and my girlfriend shook her head. Best feeling ever.
Make believe
"Swarm."
In the Ark Hives.
He told it to 'buzz off.'
Police have called SWAT team.
The clerk replies “It’s a freebie”
I put it on, expecting relaxing ambient sounds like cicadas and such, but all I got was a droning buzz. That's when I realized that I was playing the bee side.
Beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
A maybe.
They're believed to be used as part of a sting operation
Because they use honeycombs!
Because beauty is in the eye of the bee holder
Because they don’t want to beelieve they are good
bee-witched
The Queen buzzed, "To bee or not to bee, that is the question."
Hi Honey, I'm home!
My friend was wearing a t-shirt with some wording on the back. One of the words had the letter b in it. His uncle slapped him on the back and said "sorry, there was a b on your back". All I could think was, "this guy gets it, he knows humor"
They only listen to the Bee-side.
Bonus: what would be the perfect line-up for a bee concert?
The Beegees, Sting and Queen.
Bonus 2: Bees' favorite Spice Girls song?
Wannabee.
Bonus 3: Favorite classical artist?
Ludwig van Beethoven.
Bonus 4: Favorite cartoon?
Beevis and Buzzhead.
I'll stop now, before everyone flies off the handle and tells me to buzz off.
I know there will bee a lot of puns and will for sure create a lot of buzz
An old beekeeper had been raising bees for years. He'd had many bees he gave names to, like Buzz or Stripe or Sting. He got a kick out of naming them and he would spend hours with them crawling on his hands, looking at them, holding them gently and humming little songs.
One year, the hive had a new queen, and she was the most magnificent thing he'd ever seen. He usually gave them clever names like Honey, but this one was just too gorgeous for that. He named her Beauty, and he would hum to her everyday as the sun went down.
One day, during a particularly beautiful sunset, the old man was watching his queen as she peddled around in the palm of his hand, singing to her gently, when a gust of wind suddenly blew some debris toward his face. Without thinking, he reacted, moving his hands fast toward his face, and smashed the queen right into his own eye. And so I guess what they say is true, Beauty really is in the eye of the bee holder.
I live in South Carolina, sort of near the coast, and Hurricane Florence is headed this way. My two youngest children--total cowards--were helping me clear out all of the storm drains and curb gutters on our street to help the expected 10-20 inches of rain drain as best they can. Any time any insect flies past them, they scream bee and run away screaming. I'm talking like they're afraid of butterflies. My youngest says that Winter is her favorite season because all the bees are dead.
So, we finish up, and I go inside ahead of them, making them put the shovels away, and I hear, from inside, them running and crying/shrieking across the front porch and inside the house.
My youngest, amidst her sobs, says, "It was as big as a baseball" and holds the one I keep on my desk up for comparison.
I think make the B sign in ASL with both of my hands, stand up and say "BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ" at them while they run away in fear, and when the middle child says, "THAT'S NOT FUNNY" I keep moving towards them with my B hands while saying, "DO YOU WANT ME TO JUST LET YOU BEE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
I'm a great dad.
she was picking up pine cones and I asked what she wanted them for. she said her husband needed them to smoke the bees.
me: "why smoke the bees? why not just smoke marijuana?"
her: "we want to get a good buzz"
(I know I just posted something a little while ago, but I just found this subreddit today and thought of another good dad story)
As a child I had an immense fear of bees. So, one day my dad and I were at the Museum of Science in Boston together checking out the exhibits. In one room there was a huge (actual) beehive encased in glass with hundreds of bees inside. Attached to the glass was a plastic speaker thing so you could put your ear against it and hear all the buzzing. So I mustered up some courage and gave it a go. As I was getting a good listen, my dad went "bzzzzZzzzzz" and tickled my ear with his finger. I freaked the fuck out, and swatted furiously all over the place. I cried, and was all mopey and pouty for the rest of the day.
In hindsight, I realize that that was an opportunity that just had to be seized.
My coworker and I were talking on a Monday about the picnic she went on over the weekend. She was saying how there were a lot of bees out covering all the sodas and punch and how the hornets kept getting in people's beer. I told her I knew why...
Bees tend to like sweet things but hornets like to get a little buzzed.
I was visibly uncomfortable as a buzzing, stingy creature kept flying around my head.
Dad: It's not a hornet or a wasp, just let it bee.
Kevin is looking around his house for his family, who have just left to go to the airport without him.
Kevin: "Buzz? Buzz? Buzzzzz?"
Dad: "Well, he's a shitty bee isn't he"
Chatting with my friend.
Me: Did i tell you about my friend who's an exterminator?
Friend: No
Me: Yeah he's not really a proper one though, he only deals with like bee and wasp hives.
Friend: Oh right, cool
Me: Yeah I don't really like hanging out with him much though, he's a real buzz killer.
"You know why bees buzz, don't you?
"No. Why, Papa?"
"Well, you'd buzz too if somebody stole your honey and nectar!"
He's 80.
Make believe
"Swarm."
