Barking Dog Puns

I put it in the back garden.

I think he just doesn't have the balls to do it anymore.

I think I'll get him a subwoofer

A sub-woofer

Thanks for sorting by new you are doing a great job :)

A diamond in the ruff

Hush puppies

It was ruff.

Because they were in a RUFF part of town!

Because he was a little husky.

Cardi Bitch

It's a trained barkeologist.

The american dogs go bark bark, the Scandinavian dogs go bjeff bjeff and the british dogs go bruv bruv.

A subwoofer

Going to call him Sub-woofer.

Re-roofing complete.

*Edit: reworded punchline. I think it might be better said "replacing my shingles" but I cannot for the life of me edit that part...

*ahem* without hacking.

She confirmed my worst fears. Diagnosis: Barkinson's disease.

BARK BARK!!

I’d hate for anything to happen to the dog.

He was having a ruff day.

think about that. your dog is the mafia now

Whenever my dog barks, my dad will say something like, "how does sandpaper feel?"

A hush puppy

It's like a pet dog, but the bark is quieter.

Litterally

A dog with a bark worse than its bite.

"What's up dawg?"

I've just taken the lead.

So my dog was barking at something outside and I was chilling in my recliner. I called her over to me, looked her dead in the eyes and told her she has barkinson’s disease. I then burst out in laughter almost falling out of my chair.

By the Bark.

A little too proud of this one...

So I’m on my usual Tuesday morning conference call with a bunch of vendors, coworkers, bosses, etc...

With his dog barking in the background one of my bosses chimes in and says “Just so you all know, I’m on the call but I’m outside right now having my roof looked at so I might be a little distracted”.

I couldn’t resist... With the instincts of a wild puma plotting against it’s poor defenseless prey, I pounce...

“Is your dog lookin at it?

Cuz he keeps saying ROOF!!! ROOF ROOF!!!”

I was immediately rewarded with a spectacular cacophony of groans and “that was awful”’s... It was glorious. I’m pretty sure I’ll get another promotion for it.

EDIT: So... no promotion... but in a pure, hilarious coincidence, I actually DID just get the news that I'm finally getting that raise they promised me at my last review. Too fuckin funny.

Put him in the front.

Move him to the front

Put him in the front seat!

It’s just like a pet dog, only the bark is quieter.

It's kind of like a pet dog but the bark is quieter