I heard Dick van Dyke was asked to change his name because it was insensitive

Now he’s Penis von Lesbian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Klopford
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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Note 10 von 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shoman_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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Happy Birthday Beethoven

In honor of Ludwig von Beethoven's 250th birthday ...

What is Beethoven doing to celebrate his 250th birthday?

He's decomposing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/warpdrve
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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I found the perfect password solution

I use the date of birth of a person I know. For example from Margarete von Henneberg. Nobody knows her. So how should someone get my password 1234?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pol_Ice
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What is sweet and walks in the desert?

A Caramel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/franzeyyz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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What do you call a girl that sets fires to loan papers?

Bernadette

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TannedCroissant
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2018
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What do you call self-replicating ranch hands?

von Neumann's Own

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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What do you call it when 7 Austrian children get you to commit a crime?

Von Trappment

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zebrocks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/you_buy_this_shit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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A Dungeons & Dragons Related Dad Joke...

I'm currently running my players through a D&D adventure titled "Curse of Strahd".

Last session, my players found a journal revealing details about the main villain, Count Strahd Von Zarovich. When they acquired it, I passed the adventure book over--opened up to an illustration depicting the journal's pages--and one of the players proceeded to read. After struggling for a bit, he said, "I'm having a tough time reading this cause it's so cursive."

Yes," I responded. "It's the cursive Strahd."

I had that one chambered and ready for weeks, just waiting for the right moment.

What my players don't know is that I'm also going to include a few other bits of flavor for my them to find as they progress through the game:

  • A fancy handbag with the initials "SVZ" hammered into the leather... the "purse of Strahd"
  • A grave in which the Von Zarovich family nanny is buried... the "nurse of Strahd"
  • A carriage very obviously built to accommodate Strahd's coffin... the "hearse of Strahd"
  • A book full of poetry written during Strahd's younger days, before he was consumed by darkness... the "verse of Strahd"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/transplantasian
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2016
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