Balete, Batangas Puns

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2021

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CALABARZON (given per district are area in square kilometers and 2020 populations)

BATANGAS (12 districts)

1. Lian, Nasugbu, Tuy (459.73 / 239,323)

2. Balayan, Calaca, Calatagan (325.56 / 241,993)

3. Agoncillo, Laurel, Lemery, San Nicolas, Taal (252.18 / 260,865)

4. Talisay, Tanauan City (177.65 / 240,174)

5. Sto. Tomas City (92.31 / 218,500)

6. Balete, Lipa City west (Bagong Pook, Banaybanay, Barangay 12, Bugtong na Pulo, Bulacnin, Bulaklakan, Duhatan, Halang, Inosloban, Lodlod, Pangao, Pinagtongulan, Plaridel, Pusil, San Carlos, San Lucas, San Salvador, Sico, Tambo, Tanguay, Tibig), Malvar, Mataasnakahoy (149.11 / 249,495)

7. Lipa City east (Adya, Anilao, Anilao-Labac, Antipolo Del Norte, Antipolo Del Sur, Balintawak, Bolbok, Calamias, Cumba, Dagatan, Kayumanggi, Latag, Lumbang, Mabini, Malagonlong, Malitlit, Marauoy, Mataas Na Lupa, Munting Pulo, Pagolingin Bata, Pagolingin East, Pagolingin West, Pinagkawitan, Poblacion Barangay 1, Poblacion Barangay 10, Poblacion Barangay 11, Poblacion Barangay 2, Poblacion Barangay 3, Poblacion Barangay 4, Poblacion Barangay 5, Poblacion Barangay 6, Poblacion Barangay 7, Poblacion Barangay 8, Poblacion Barangay 9, Poblacion Barangay 9-A, Quezon, Rizal, Sabang, Sampaguita, San Benito, San Celestino, San Francisco, San Guillermo, San Jose, San Sebastian, Santo Niño, Santo Toribio, Sapac, Talisay, Tangob, Tipacan) (130.37 / 242,491)

8. Alitagtag, Cuenca, Ibaan, San Jose, Sta. Teresita (206.88 / 222,988)

9. Bauan, Mabini, San Luis, San Pascual, Tingloy (205.34 / 266,073)

10. Batangas City northwest (those barangays not part of 12th district) (72.98 / 253,619)

11. Padre Garcia, Rosario, Taysan (342.71 / 220,351)

12. Batangas City south (Bilogo, Catandala, Conde Itaas, Conde Labak, Dela Paz, Dela Paz Pulot Aplaya, Dela Paz Pulot Itaas, Domoclay, Haligue Kanluran, Haligue Silangan, Ilihan, Kumba, Liponpon Isla Verde, Maapas, Mabacong, Mahabang Dahilig, Mahacot Kanluran, Mahacot Silangan, Malalim, Malibayo, Maruclap, Pagkilatan, Paharang Kanluran, Paharang Silangan, Pinamucan, Pinamucan Ibaba, Pinamucan Silangan, San Agapito Isla Verde, San Agustin Kanluran Isla Verde, San Agustin Silangan Isla Verde, San Andres Isla Verde, San Antonio Isla Verde, San Isidro, San Jose Sico, San Miguel, Santo Domingo, Santo Niño, Simlong, Sirang Lupa, Tabangao Ambulong, Tabangao Aplaya, Tabangao Dao

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon