Bad Life Puns

This post is inspired by the death of a friend, and how his good friend wasn't given time off to go to the funeral. No one ever lays on their death bed and says "Man, I should have worked harder at my job"

If you have an important thing in your life that you want to attend, and your job says you can't go because you have to work, feel free to make it clear, you aren't asking for permission, you are telling them what you are going to do. If they refuse and say you have to work...then...don't show up to work. Also, be very clear. As in:

"I understand you plan on having me work this day, I will not show up that day."

I myself have had this happen twice in my life, on both occasions I did not show up to work and went and did what was important to me. The first instance was my high school graduation, I told my manager I was taking that night off, my manager said no, I said you can schedule me, but I won't be there. He scheduled me, I didn't show up. On the next day, I was scheduled to work, he wrote me up and I quit, on the spot with no notice. One of the best decisions I ever made. FYI I ended up with a much, much better job.

The second time my best friend was getting married, I had let my company (this is actually the company I work for now) know. They then ended up scheduling an important meeting. I made it clear I wasn't going to come, they said it wasn't a choice, I said I don't care. I didn't show up, my boss was mad at me, but nothing happened to me. However I still work for the same boss, he now respects my requests and understands that he might as well grant it because I'm going to do, what I'm going to do. This incident actually resulted in me missing a flight they paid for, and not showing up to a hotel, that they paid for.

Now, obviously, you have to be reasonable. If a new video game is coming out and you want to play that and your job really needs you, taking the time off regardless is not a good idea. However, if it is a major event, one that is probably never going happen again such as a wedding, a funeral, graduation, something life mattering significant. Do not allow your job to decide if you get to go to that function, it is not their choice, it is yours.

It’s intellectually inconsistent to thank god for good things that happen, but not to place blame on god for bad things that happen. If god is an all powerful creator of the universe who deserves to be thanked whenever something you like happens, then they also deserve to be blamed for the bad things that happen.

If someone says:
“Thank god my dog survived surgery”
“Thank god nobody was injured in the car crash”
“Thank god I got the promotion”
“Thank god I tested negative"

That implies that god had both the power and the ability to create those positive results, AND took action to create the results you wanted. Therefore, god also deserves to be blamed whenever the inverse happens:
“It's god's fault that my dog died in surgery”
“It's god's fault that she died in the car crash”
“It's god's fault that I got fired”
"It's god's fault that I tested positive for HIV"

Etc, etc…

If god really is all powerful and has the power and the ability to create the aforementioned positive results, then it stands to reason that they would also be responsible for the negative results, either through directly causing them as he/they did with the positive results, or by simply failing to take action to prevent them even though he/they had the ability to.

I'm currently in Hong Kong and needed to find the subway station. For some reason, Apple Maps wouldn't show the subway station. So I asked a person and was able to find it.

When I arrived at my destination, I used Apple Maps to find a restaurant to go for lunch. I can see a TGI Friday's is nearby, so I follow the map to get there. Nope, doesn't exist.

So I find another restaurant (Cali-Mex), and follow Apple Maps to get there. Nope, doesn't exist either.

I'm now lost and want to make my way back to the subway station. But of course, Apple Maps won't show the subway station.

So what is the point of this app? It is not useful.

I've since installed Google Maps and it (a) shows all subway stations and (b) doesn't show these non-existent restaurants.

Frustrating.

In most postapocalyptic or dystopian fiction, the strong, the ruthless, the violent, and the stupid grab the opportunity and turn the world into a nightmare of endless war and desctruction. I know that that is how things are going to go in reality as soon as governmental power collapses. The 2021 United States Capitol attack, the mindless destruction and pillaging following many mass events, from demonstrations to sports, and the barely hidden selfishness and greed of almost everyone holding political or economic power, shows that even if the majority of people are kind and helpful, the brutal few will still turn a whole society into factions that are bitter enemies and would rather attempt to annihilate each other than to cooperate to build a good life for all. But that thought is just too depressing.

So please sugget some books where after some desaster or in the far future the protagonists – as unrealistic as that is – cooperate to make things work and, at least partially, succeed.

I'm especially looking for characters that have a friendly disposition towards each other. I'm really tired of novels where two people are distrustful of each other for no reason, and where the suspicion and the falsehoods that come with it lead to unnecessary misunderstandings and conflicts. That is not how I behave in real life and I simply cannot identify with it. The people around me are generally friendly, open, welcoming, and supportive, and I want to read a book where the protagonists are like that as well.

I get that the point of the argument is to place emphasis on the fact that since men do not have uteruses, they could never sympathise with the experience of women who have gone through an abortion (or might go through one in the future).

There's two problems with this argument:

• It "encourages" men to not care about this issue since their opinion "does not matter" and implies that abortion is solely a women's issue rather than a societal issue.

• In reality, this argument is hypocritical because as I have seen countless times, men's opinions on abortion DO matter, but only if they're pro-choice. If their opinion truly didn't matter, then pro-choice people wouldn't support male pro-choice allies.

Not to mention that this argument excludes infertile women and trans women.

As women I believe we need male allies to win this fight. And "no uterus, no opinion" is purely divisive and exclusionary.

Edit: My argument is solely against this statement and NOT as an attack on the pro-choice movement as a whole. I'm a pro-choice woman myself.

After almost ever natural disaster (ex.hurricanes, tornadoes, floods) people are quick to praise God for “saving them”. The simultaneously ignore the fact that God chose not to save all the other people that died.

If God can be credited for saving life then he should also be held responsible for ending life. If God is all powerful and all knowing then he watches our suffering (ex. Coronavirus) and ignores our pleas for help on a massive scale. If anything “God” is the only person who could prevent our suffering, but chooses to watch us die…

I was married once before - stupid young - and it was an abusive marriage. He convinced me to quit school and get married (he was military) so I could be with him; he said he had a savings that he would put toward my schooling in the state where he was stationed (this was before online schooling was a thing). As soon as we were married and I moved halfway across the country, he said, “Oh yeah, I don’t have any money saved up so I guess you can’t go to school.” Let’s just say the marriage got much worse, and I knew I needed a plan to escape. I worked as a makeup artist and restaurant server, and only 1.5 years later, got the hell out of Dodge and put myself back in school, went through a long distance divorce and fought for my independence and livelihood. I was 22 and succeeded, thankfully, but I know many women get trapped in these types of situation (usually because of children and without having access to higher education).

Let’s just say I learned quickly, and at a young age, how just one person can derail another’s life (I also believe this is one of the major things that prompted me to become childfree). This is the story of my ex-best friend and me:

In December of 2018 at age 33, I made it official and told (via text) my parents, siblings, and friends they didn't need to ask when my new husband and I would be having kids because we weren't. I made sure to mention my medical condition that would be worsened by having children so they knew I was dead serious (although I was serious before I was diagnosed with this condition in my late 20's, but no one believed me then and my mother cried and told me it would be the biggest regret of my life and how I was ruining her future as a grandmother, etc).

My best friend who was a nurse and single mom, and always such a great friend and so supportive, replied, "That's heartbreaking." I didn't reply, but it really bothered me she responded like that instead of being supportive. She was pregnant at the time but she knew motherhood was not for me. And she was the perfect example of why motherhood scared me… But more on that in a minute.

Her History:

She was an RN who was voted Best Nurse in our hometown and featured in the town newspaper around 2010. I remember that day - I drove to her place where we busted out a bottle of wine and celebrated as we looked at the paper; she was so excited and I couldn't have been more happy for her. She is a stunning woman (was also our homecoming queen in

Just to address the elephant in the room - no I don’t have schizophrenia or any known disorder, a psychiatrist said this is just my version of ‘normal’ and I’ve accepted that.

I’m in a constant but vague hallucinatory state. Some examples being: the ground is always ‘breathing’ when I look at it, faces morph a lot when I talk to people and other small things like that.

I’ve had negative episodes a few years back where i saw and heard very unpleasant things and it evoked extreme paranoia but I’ve dealt with that now and I’m quite good at distinguishing hallucinations from reality.

My boyfriend is a big advocate for the benefits of LSD and I’ve had a few friends ask me if I’d try it with them. I’m interested but a little hesitant, are the benefits worth the risk of negatively impacting my hallucinatory state? How high would that risk be?

Most inexperienced people I’ve asked are very against the idea but I think it’s because permanent hallucinations sound scary to them, whereas since it’s my ‘normal’ I’m not scared of the frequency so much as the quality. I just wouldn’t want the risk of a bad trip being semi permanent if that makes sense.

Also I’m thinking, is it possible that my risk of having a bad trip is lower since I’m very experienced at dealing with apparitions and hallucinations? As a side note I hallucinate a lot when I smoke weed but can always stay calm even when things get freaky. I don’t know how relevant that is though since I assume hallucinogenics are very different.

Anyway, would you do in my situation?

TIA :)

EDIT: thank you so much to all the replies, everyone on here has been so informative not only regarding LSD and their experiences but through suggesting possible causes for my hallucinations (some of which I’ll look more into.) Due to majority opinion I’ve decided not to mess with acid until I get more clarity on what’s going on with me :) even then it seems best for me to stay away from hallucinogenics regardless of a diagnosis. Thanks again all!

I once read something on here about how a professor of Spanish Linguistics was able to prove that someone had been murdered rather than killed themselves because they examined the "suicide" letter (written in English) and proved that the mistakes made were too irregular for a native Spanish speaker whose only other language was English.

Kind of like how a nurse could identify your symptoms on the spot or an engineer could estimate how long it will take for a pot to fill up with water, what "magic tricks" can a linguist pull in real life that can dazzle people?

I've been saying how "comb" is related to the OCS *z[o]mbъ for years now. Gotta get some new material.

EDIT: I don't remember the exact story! This was years ago and it's not really important, it just serves as a vehicle to stimulate thinking! Please post whatever corrections to the story you have down below if you want.

Got drunk last night and came home and played ranked, stupidly. Dropped from Plat 3 to Plat 2 Div 1. This morning I woke up hungover and started playing again. Didn't win a single match all the way to Gold 3 Div 3. Was about to get my first win in ~12 games, when my teammate scores a very intentional own goal to tie it with 11 seconds left. Overtime. I'm about to score a quick goal off the faceoff to end it, but the same teammate is waiting playing goalie for the other side. blocks my shot, runs the ball down and own goals again. game over. I have never been so close to throwing my controller through the screen. don't think anyones gonna read this but this is the most rage i've ever had in RL. About to throw up

Why is it these types of people who always have the good things happen to them? Why do they always get the jobs they want, make new friends, make the most money? I have witnessed this in my life with the horrible people. The people who have caused me depression, anxiety, low self esteem are the ones who get praised and looked at like they are amazing. Whilst I'm here suffering with the trauma they've given me. Why is the universe like this?

Sorry to be so negative it's just frustrating to think about.

Please delete mods if not appropriate!

There is a lot of debate in Scottish society about what kind of country we would like to be after the pandemic.

Many people look to Nordic countries like Norway for inspiration on how we could do things different here in Scotland.

So from a Scot: what’s good and bad about life in Norway?

Any government policies or cultural policies you think are positive?

We all have our experiences with failed New Year’s Resolutions.

Whether they’re set to end bad habits like compulsive Reddit scrolling, or to cut back on alcohol or sugar, breaking the promises you make to yourself will leave you feeling frustrated, self-critical, and jaded.

We tend to blame our lack of self-control and willpower for our failings. Yet, as you’ll come to see, it’s actually the unexpected arrival of negative feelings—lethargy, unhappiness, irritability—and the thoughts and excuses they provoke, that ultimately results in things unraveling.

Laura McKowen describes this perfectly it in her book We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life,

>“In the first year of trying to get sober, I was tired all the time. Not the adrenaline-fueled tired I used to feel when I was still drinking, but something more weighted and bone level, like the flu… More than once, I called in sick to work because I simply could not drag my body there… I slept eight, ten, twelve hours a night… And although I would have occasional bursts of almost manic energy… mostly I felt like I was slogging through mud.
>
>I found this to be so frustrating and unfair because it seemed like now that I wasn't drowning myself in wine every night, life should automatically be… easier. Better. My body should feel like a demigod’s. I wanted the energy to do all the things lighting up my brain: write more, start a podcast, start my book, fix up my apartment, clean my car, paint my bedroom, find a boyfriend, live—but most days, I could barely make it through the afternoon without crying.”

So, just like only a dark and damp environment can yield mold and rot, it’s during our dark mental confusion and frustration that the first spores of rationalizations and excuses begin to form. It’s there that you’ll get that twisted little thought that says (in an impish voice)…

>hey, maybe this whole “giving up Reddit and Instagram and Junk Food thing” is actually not all that good of an idea. I mean, look at how crappy you feel? You’re worse than before! Maybe you’d be better off—happier, more at ease and energized—if you got your little innocent doses of gratification. Maybe you don’t want to stick with these “resolutions” after all.

With thoughts like these, no amount of “willpower” or “self-control” will help. Once rational excuses have been formed, once you begin to believe that you’re better off with your vices than without—made ever-more evident w

I wonder sometimes if we are in the same age range/menopausal cycle. I would like to know if I should expect some negative changes in my body and life in the future, so I was wondering everyone’s approximate age.

I'm so fucking tired of this oscillation.