Bad Good Puns

It's 5050

When I stepped on it this morning, it said "LOW".

Stick your chest out

It flows.

Is a floptical delusion.

We’ve been in a bad joke email war for some time now. It’s been so long, I don’t remember how it started. It may have happened when I moved out after staying with him and my mom for a while.

Long story short: I’ve got a lot of dad jokes to share with y’all, because we are constantly sending “dad jokes” to each other. And I have hundreds of jokes that are LITERALLY from my dad.

All the best jokes? They are headed your way!

Here’s some to get you started. I am copying and pasting them exactly as he writes in the email so you can get the full “dad” effect. He’s 72.

Everyone who can, take a moment out of your day to call your dad.

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the male pumpkin told the female pumpkin ................you look gourdish today boo me love dad

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Exaggeration is a billion times better than understatement..........................love, dad

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Is it true that if you teach a wolf to meditate it becomes an "aware wolf" ?

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If swimming is good for your figure how do you explain whales?

Bad aina, I almost didn't send it.......................................Love dad

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Have a good night everyone, and see you soon!

...is shocking.

She said "that's definitely a good thing!"

I asked her "could the tumor have been a b-ten or a b-eleven?"

I'm bipolar

It sucks!

Good news is, I’m cured!

The bitter, better-batter bought her butter!

Ra ra ah ah ah, ro ma ro ma ma, ga ga ooh la la, want yo bad romance.

Me: It wasn't good for the Titanic.

a medijoker

PunGent

Tried posting in Dad jokes sub and I guess it was the wrong place for a triple pun.

A good cop wears a goodge.

It just OK

Argon

Patient: Good news please. Doctor: we're naming a disease after you.

Hey guys, what is blue and not heavy?. . . .Light Blue

Me in my new underwear: I don't know....

Dad: Awe.

Although I think I would nail Polish.

Just needed something to lift my spirits

The good news is that your other leg is all better."

That's a real leaf.

Man is hilarious

It’s 5050

If good;

The good news is there is no bad news.

If bad;

The bad news is there is no good news.

Pungent.

Ra ra ra ah ah.

The bad news is: theres no good news.

Argon.

Patient: Good news please. Doctor: we're naming a disease after you.