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The direction the first letter faces
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
the vaccum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years...
Last night I dreamt I was turning my handwriting into a custom font.
It started out normal with basic straight lines but by “Z” it had become a very ornate and filigreed design, reminiscent of the designs of monks in old bibles.
Someone watching me work then asked me what the font was called.
I responded: What’s a monk’s favourite font?
They shook their head and shrugged.
Me: MonastArial!
I started laughing but only received an exasperated sigh in return.
Me: Wait, I’ve got another one. How about GaraMonk? 🤣
Ahhhhnd I woke myself up because I was laughing so hard at my own joke and had to look up of Monastarial was a real word. It is.
Cuz they're really terrible at stand up comedy
..they make me feel even number.
The old man replies, "YOU'RE scared?! I'm the one that has to walk back alone!"
The dad says, "Of course. Where do you think #2 pencils come from?"
Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.
If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.
Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???
Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.
Thank you,
A Dad.
A sass-squash.
Because you shouldn't press your luck!
..but the sausages were wurst.
Donuts
The no bell prize.
But so far I’ve made 2 jugs and a vase!
"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"
"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.
"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"
Gross-eries
Because they're Fungi's
Shocked
"You have cancer and alzheimer's," the doctor finished.
The man sighed and said, "Well, at least it isn't cancer."
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
His wife, Ella, is always having ups and downs
And after years of hard work, practice and dedication, I can now play the guitar really badly.
Because of their fowl odour.
So I packed my stuff and right.
They don't finish their-
People are usually shocked when they find out.
They don’t know how to conduct themselves.
we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B.
Dough!
Daughter: "I was adopted?"
Dad: "You were adorable as a baby!"
Daughter: "Oh!!"
Dad: "That's why we adopted you. "
There was no body, arms or legs to him but he was functioning normal and his parents loved him. On his 21st birthday his dad took him to a bar, bought him a beer and gave it to him to drink. Suddenly his torso grew out of his head. Around him amazed the bar started chanting “Drink, Drink!” His dad got a second beer and gave it to him, this time he grew arms and hands. The stunned crowd all chanted again “Drink, Drink” He got his third beer and drank it himself with his new hands, suddenly legs and feet grew. The crowd applauded and cheered. The son couldn’t believe it and started to run. He ran around in circles and then out of the bar. Unfortunately he ran into the road, got hit by a truck and was killed instantly. The barman looked at his dad, sighed and said “He should have quit while he was a head”
The performance was stopped half way through due to thunderbolts and lightning....
Very, very frightening....
But hey, it puts food on the table!
Dickson.
They can Never Land a job!
That’s just unpresidented
It sucks!
The surgery went well, he is just a little cockeyed now.
He should have know he had a Bison.
