Do your worst!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
First things firs, I'd like to apologize to the NFL_Draft community. I contacted u/genericbeaver about helping out on the upcoming defending the draft series and ended up missing all of the deadlines. I thought I had time to write something up for the subreddit but I also had my graduate thesis to do at the same time and all of my time went into my thesis. Good news though, I have finally finished my thesis and passed my defense so now I can finally finish what I started. There was another post earlier and his write up is really great. I already had this finished so this will be #2 for the Lions. The more the merrier. I'd also like to point out the u/genericbeaver was on time and on point with his portion of the defending the draft article and it was solely my fault for the tardiness of the article.
Coaching Changes
The 2020 season saw the Lions stumble their way to 5-11, finishing in 4th place in the NFC North. Due to the lack of success under Matt Patricia (13-29-1), both he and GM Bob Quinn (31-43-1) were let go. This paved the way for the additions of Brad Holmes in the Front Office and Dan Campbell on the field. Brad Holmes comes over from the Rams where he was the Director of College Scouting since 2013. Dan Campbell on the other hand came from New Orleans where he’s been since 2016, serving as their Tight Ends Coach and Assistant Head Coach with Sean Payton. Prior to this, he coached in Miami and led the Dolphins to a 5-7 record as their interim Head Coach. Campbell immediately sparked a fire with his now infamous Knee Cap press conference that has the Lions fan base excited once again.
To help Campbell try and guide the Lions back to their winning ways of the 1950s, he assembled a coaching staff that’s littered with former NFL players who saw varying degrees of success while on the field. Some of those coaching additions (https://www.detroitlions.com/team/coaches-roster/) include OC Anthony Lynn who comes over from the Los Angeles Chargers (former HC), DC Aaron Glenn comes over from New Orleans (former Secondary Coach) and ST Coordinator Dave Fipp who left the same role in Philadelphia to join Detroit. Lynn’s success in Buffalo led him to LA where he did have some success before fizzling out this year, mostly as a game and clock manager. Without those added responsibilities, the Lions are hopin
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It’s pronounced “Noel.”
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
Because his Visa didn’t work.
Because the audience only responds in a low ha
A happy Uncle.....
"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"
After all his first name is No-vac
Bob
"That's what they're fighting about."
