Ashikaga Takauji Puns

The IDN Ashikaga Takauji is one of the largest aircraft carriers in the Daitai's Atlantic fleet, based out of Odessa, Ukraine. The vessel is approximately one kilometre long, and two hundred metres wide. The vessel's massive size to bombers and UAV's makes it a large target, thus it is defended by several anti-aircraft guns and a single iron dome missile interception system. The Ashikaga Takauji stores several Z-3 Tengu fighter jets. While the exact number of fighter jets is unknown to the public, estimates are around 66 Z-3 Tengus. The carrier also carries several water craft: minisubs, which willingly kamikaze into the sides of enemy ships at full speed, alongside RHIBs, to board enemy ships.

Right now, you are aboard the Ashikaga Takauji. You've been invited for the ship's Caribbean tour, where Daitai forces will link up with the Cuban Navy and Imperial Japanese Marine Corps to mount an assault on Florida.

The Ashikaga Takauji, while advised to be escorted by Doru class battleships Doru and Kyle to Cuba. However, the Captain of the battleship, Matthew Loggins, denied the escort, believing that his ship could easily fend off or escape any attackers.

Right now, the Ashikaga Takauji is right in the middle of the Atlantic, halfway between Europe and North America. You're out on the deck, fishing with a rod you've brought with you, trying to catch some Atlantic Cod.

Hello? Is this text being received? Does ANYONE copy? Over!

If you are receiving this, please send Coalition Union military assistance!

To those of you receiving, I am Captain Matthew Loggins of the Imperial Daitai Naval vessel Ashikaga Takauji, on May 5th, 2060. My aircraft carrier left the Coalition Union port in Odessa, Ukraine two weeks ago as part of the Ukrainian-Daitai Atlantic Fleet. Right now, we're in the middle of the Atlantic.

For the past three days, we've been getting Radar and Sonar signatures that we can't identify. We've scrambled Z-3 Tengu fighter jets to intercept the aerial anomalies, but the jet pilots reported no visuals on the signatures in the air, but have reported the signatures to shoot across their radar screens at speeds that would kill a human.

Several times, we've contacted our spies inside AUTEC and Area 51, but what we described matches nothing being developed at either research area.

Right now, I'm currently waiting for the IDN Hokkaido, which is one of our Yamato 2 class cruisers, or the IDN St. Lawrence, a newer October class assault submarine. So, in the meanwhile, ask me questions...

^^^^Please, ^^^^send ^^^^help...

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

A common trait Assassin’s Creed groups have is the constant theorizing about future settings, because historical tourism is one of the best parts of the series. This series of posts will act as a counter to my Mildly Obscure setting discussions, but rather than looking at a single point, I will be taking a broad setting that is popular and looking at several potential settings to explore within it. Today’s setting is the highly requested setting, Feudal Japan.

Before I get into the history of the periods, I want to explain Japan’s geography for those unaware. Japan is not a single Island but several. The main country of Japan is made up of 4 main islands. Honshu is the largest of these and makes up the middle part and the majority of the country. Just to the northeast is Hokkaido, however, this island was mainly lived on by the Ainu people, who were partially subjugated by northern Shoguns during the Edo period, but never fully conquered. To the southwest of Honshu is Shikoku, and just to the west of that is Kyushu. For fans of pokemon, the region of Kanto is based on the real region of Kanto where Tokyo is. Johto is based on Chubu, both of which are on Honshu. Hoenn is based on Kyushu, and Sinnoh is based on Hokkaido. To the south of Kyushu is the Ryukyu island chain which extends down to Taiwan and contains Okinawa. To the north of Hokkaido is the Sakhalin Island which currently belongs to Russia and sits between Manchuria and the Kamchatka Peninsula. The Kuril islands extend up from Hokkaido to the Kamchatka Peninsula. Also for reference, there may be vaults or important PoE around Osaka and Okinawa.

Kamakura Period

Following a coup d'etat in 1179, the Heian Period of Japan gave way to the rule of the Kamakura Shogunate beginning the Feudal period. The Shogunate would dominate the majority of Honshu, Shikoku, and Kyushu and rule from the city of Kamakura. Over the next 150 years, Japan would flourish as the population boomed, disease rates fell, more p

They’re on standbi

Nichiren's goal was to have the Japanese government destroy all the other religions and make him the national cleric of the state religion - in short, the most powerful man in Japan. Thus, Nichiren attempted to manipulate government officials by using what he believed they feared most: Foreign invasion and internal revolt.

#The calamity of invasion from foreign lands: the Mongols

>When my prediction comes true, it will prove that I am a sage, but Japan will be destroyed. Nichiren (p. 45)

>The more fervently they believe in the wrong teachings, the greater the difficulty of Japan will be. The country of Japan is now about to be destroyed. - Nichiren, Response to Gonin's Letter

>Nichiren is the pillar and beam of Japan. Doing away with me is toppling the pillar of Japan! Immediately you will all face ‘the calamity of revolt within one’s own domain,’ or strife among yourselves, and also ‘the calamity of invasion from foreign lands.’ All the Nembutsu and Zen temples, such as Kenchoji, Jufuku-ji, Gokuraku-ji, Daibutsuden, and Choraku-ji, should be burned to the ground, and their priests taken to Yui Beach to have their heads cut off. If this is not done, then Japan is certain to be destroyed!” - Nichiren, On The Selection of the Time

>In the second month of 1274, the shogunate issued a pardon for Nichiren, and he returned to Kamakura the next month. On the eighth day of the fourth month, Hei no Saemon summoned Nichiren and, in a deferential manner, asked his opinion regarding the impending Mongol invasion. Nichiren said that it would occur within the year and reiterated that this calamity was the result of slandering the correct teaching. [SGI Source](http://www.sgilibrary.org/search_dict.php?id=1526

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Nothing, it just waved

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

Kamakura Shogunate has Genpei War (the Minamoto and the Taira)

Edo Shogunate has Sengoku Jidai period (Oda, Toyotomi, Tokugawa, etc)

But Ashikaga Shogunate seems to be devoid of interest from modern writer. Ashikaga Takauji doesn't seem to have presence in pop culture.

Is that assessment accurate? If so, why?

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Nichiren's goal was to have the Japanese government destroy all the other religions and make him the national cleric of the state religion - in short, the most powerful man in Japan. Thus, Nichiren attempted to manipulate government officials by using what he believed they feared most: Foreign invasion and internal revolt.

#The calamity of invasion from foreign lands: the Mongols

>When my prediction comes true, it will prove that I am a sage, but Japan will be destroyed. Nichiren (p. 45)

>The more fervently they believe in the wrong teachings, the greater the difficulty of Japan will be. The country of Japan is now about to be destroyed. - Nichiren, Response to Gonin's Letter

>Nichiren is the pillar and beam of Japan. Doing away with me is toppling the pillar of Japan! Immediately you will all face ‘the calamity of revolt within one’s own domain,’ or strife among yourselves, and also ‘the calamity of invasion from foreign lands.’ All the Nembutsu and Zen temples, such as Kenchoji, Jufuku-ji, Gokuraku-ji, Daibutsuden, and Choraku-ji, should be burned to the ground, and their priests taken to Yui Beach to have their heads cut off. If this is not done, then Japan is certain to be destroyed!” - Nichiren, On The Selection of the Time

>In the second month of 1274, the shogunate issued a pardon for Nichiren, and he returned to Kamakura the next month. On the eighth day of the fourth month, Hei no Saemon summoned Nichiren and, in a deferential manner, asked his opinion regarding the impending Mongol invasion. Nichiren said that it would occur within the year and reiterated that this calamity was the result of slandering the correct teaching. [SGI Source](http://www.sgilibrary.org/search_dict.php?id=1526

I know the Kamakura Shogunate was established in 1195, would that be when the Shogun would have become the "supreme" ruler of japan, supreme defined as central or highest authority in the land, or do you have to go forward to the Tokugawa Shogunate for the Shogun to be considered "supreme".