A couple of guys robbed an art gallery, but then their van wouldn't start...
Because they didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
I was starting a piece of art but I didn’t like how it was turning out.
I've mastered the art of sitting down using just one word.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a hot tub?
Did you about the gold digger who dated an art collector?
She was only with him for the Monet
If Korean pop is shortened to Kpop and Korean Drama is Kdrama...
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
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Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
I heard companies have been hiring a lot of art graduates as data storage managers
Makes sense. They can never have too many professional drawers
I was never good at art at school.
I couldn't even draw a blank.
How did the culinary arts teacher make sure their students were on track?
Man, the US Marine Corps really screwed up when they named their hand to hand fighting style the 'Marine Corps Martial Arts Program'.
They could have named it Semper Fu.
I took my son to the art gallery, and he seemed to have a great time! He was not only impressed by the art, but also what was holding it…..
I guess you could say he was easel-y amused!
What's the opposite of a croissant?
There are 10 kinds of people in this world.
Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
Why is 6 afraid of 7 (this punchline is actually different)?
My granddaughter just hit me with this one: what is the biggest kind of ant ?
A gi-ant!
I am so proud right now!
Next level puns of anarchy submissions
I’m sick of all NSEW jokes on here
I think it’s time to move in a new direction.
TIL that the Ancient Romans had four types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III instantly killed the victim upon contact.
Poison IV, though, just made the victim extremely itchy.
Did you hear about the art expert that broke his friend out of prison?
How do you measure the magnitude of the pun in a dad joke?
With a sighsmograph
Edit: Wow, you guys, Thank-you the the awards and upvotes. If only my family appreciated this joke as much as you do!
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles…
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster
Let’s see what your made of Mike!
What is the capital of Poland?
SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
I wore a kilt to my first therapy appointment today. Within seconds of sitting down to talk, the therapist told me I was mentally ill
His exact words were "I can clearly see your nuts"
2 guys walk into a bar with their wives and ask for 2 pints of Stella and 2 "girly" drinks
Bartender: 'So that's 4 pints of Stella?'
Lord of the Rings (Background sets not included)
This year I’m on a crusade to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes
It’s about raisin awareness
I opened my pay envelope today and found it was full of parsley.
Someone garnished my wages.
I am thinking of moving to Switzerland, I hear the social benefits are really great.
Their cool looking flag is a really big plus, too
If Banksy made a series of street art on one street without permission?
He probably would name it a...
...illegalery.
IKEA has been accused of evading over $500 million in taxes. Apparently, prosecutors have been after them for years, but they're having a really hard time...
...putting their case together.
I’ve often heard that “icy” is one of the easiest words to spell.
Looking back at it now, I see why.
What is the most dangerous part of a church?
What kind of doctor is Dr.Pepper?
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
Hey- it’s come to our attention that some of you who are posting here aren’t actually dads. It's inappropriate to make a "dad joke" if you are not a dad.
What is the opposite of telekinesis?
I got arrested by the Department of Animal Welfare for trying to acquire several crows to raise as pets.
They charged me with attempted murder.
We should have been able to predict the fall of the Soviet Union a lot sooner.
There were a lot of red flags.
I only believe in 12.5% of the Bible.
Because I am an eighth-theist.
Why did the art thief's van run out of fuel?
He had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh
Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?
Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper?
What kind of Dr. is Dr. Pepper?
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