#Origins After selling her gospel album out of her family's car because she had been shut of the official gospel scene for being too "lust-worthy", teenage Jessica Simpson found success with her debut album, Sweet Kisses, released in 1999. The reviews that weren't eager to call her a future porn star or trophy wife (not making this up, I swear) were okay enough towards the music, and she sold over four millions copies worldwide. She sang for Presidents Clinton and Bush. She had a top ten single and another moderate hit single under her belt. She was a successful B-list popstar you'd think Columbia CEO Tommy Mottola (fuck you!) would be happy with. Then start thinking of ways to build on and expand on her success, while working out the kinks that weren't all that the first time around. After all, she fit a niche. She was a moderately famous, B-list popstar who did well enough. Why not celebrate that and nurture that niche? Let it grow organically with sound decisions and some tricks here and there to attract those outside the niche? You'd think "nurture that niche" would be something Mottola would understand was right for Jessica.
You'd be wrong. So wrong.
#New image, distinctiveness lost An artist that made good wasn't enough for Columbia, they wanted Britney/Christina numbers and they wanted them NOW (well, THEN). So, they basically threw everything they had worked on and that had worked alright out of the window. This time around she was "a sex bomb amalgam of Britney and Mariah", which mind you does not create an identity of its own. Or a convincingly sex symbol. Jess' facial expressions and movements in some of lad's mags are downright awkward. She herself said she was a virgin who didn't know how to perform her new role. A role she accepted cause she had blind trust in her label and dadager (a massive pushover who never said no, had no prior industry experience and only lucked out into good ideas here and there. Sorry, Joe) knowing how to better keep her dream of singing professionally a reality.
The new Barbie-sex doll image caused controversy among part of the more conservative audience she had cultivated, and the loss of them. One fansite made news by shutting down and condemning her. Honestly, Columbia should've seen this coming, as they stripped her of part of her personality to make her what they deemed more palatable and the transformation was out of the blue. It didn't work great on teen girls, either, who were the first to cast stones at
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For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
There hasn't been a post all year!
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
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Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
Because his Visa didn’t work.
A happy Uncle.....
"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"
I’d never seen him be 4.
Ice-olation.
She's only eleven and says she came up with that by herself. I'm so proud 😭😭😭
"No, it doesn't."
We couldn't afford a dog...
Actually different
You know. Roll reversal.
