True story: Taking my daughter to her music lesson the other day and she says: "Daddy I think I'd like to start another instrument. We have that old violin laying around and I'd like to learn to play. Nothing serious just casually to learn a song now and then.
To which I replied..."So your intention is just to fiddle with it?"
rom one dad to another, Happy Father’s Day.
May your day be filled with laughter and children groaning at your terrible puns.
Why is Christmas just like another day at the office...
Because you do all the work and some fat guy in suit a gets all the credit!!
Another long day at the zoo. We have a reptile that keeps getting terrible hemorrhoids and it's anus is swollen. We have to quarantine it until further tests are ran.
We should hear back from the Croctologist in the morning.
I was at a restaurant the other day when I saw a customer throw a plate of curry at a waiter. Immediately, the waiter picked up another plate of curry and threw it right back.
That's korma for you.
We know the Panama has had its problems, and the Suez had that ship stuck recently, but my co-worker must know of another problematic waterway. Every day he yells out...
‘Far Canal. I hate this place’.
These two dinosaurs were walking one day and they came across another dinosaur they had never seen before, eating plants. One says "Who is that?!" and the other replies...
"I dunno. I've never seen herbivore!"
The other day I saw a duck standing on top of another duck’s head.
I guess I saw a paradox.
A writer on The Good Place submitted the following list of restaurant name puns with the script for her episode. It includes gems like "Squab Goals" and "Pie Another Day." twitter.com/meganamram/st…
A man asks another man to lend him $10 until next pay day. The second man says “sure, here you go. when’s next pay day?”
“I don’t know, you’re the one with a job”
End of workday: Another end to a fruitless day.
Co-worker hands me an apple and says "Not anymore!"
My coworker Jim sits next to another coworker, Collin. One day, Jim replaced the nametag on his cubicle to also say Collin
I asked him, "Jim, your name isn't Collin. What's going on?"
He replied, "We're trying to Collin-ize the area."
(True story)
The other day, I saw a police dog buttfucking another police dog.
It was a couple of Gay9s
What's another name for Mother's Day?
Labor Day.
