All The Things Puns

A list of puns related to "All The Things"

Of all the things I learned while in grade school...

I never thought trying to avoid cooties would be the most useful thing at this stage of my life.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/mickerallen100
šŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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As this year is coming to a close, I find myself thinking about all the things I would have done differently.

Seems like I got 20/20 hindsight.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/MadSlingshoter
šŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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I'm writing about all the things I should do before I die

It's my oughtobiography

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/a-nony-mouse33
šŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Think about all the things that you forgot...

wait... you cant

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Bonecrusher9874
šŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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My 4yo son was surprised I saw him doing something out of the corner of my eye. He asked how I saw him and I said, "Grown ups see all kinds of things."

"That's why it's called adult super-vision."

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/thunderup_14
šŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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Things have been a bit tense with my wife, with both of us stuck in quarantine all the time. We even had an argument about herbs the other day.

To be honest, it was about thyme.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/whistlepoo
šŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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I want to create a sculpture of all the things that are holding humanity back.

I'd call it "statue of limitations".

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/pacmans_mum
šŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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All these jokes about the coronavirus have one thing in common...

They all conta gious one thing...bad puns!

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/shdchko
šŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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The worst thing about driving for Uber is all the people talking behind your back
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/wellzy33
šŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2018
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A lot of things are bad for your soul, but the worst of all?

Running

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/papa-mack
šŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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What do you call the ruler of all things rice?

Queenua

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/SixSalamander
šŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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I remember as a kid my dad got fired from his job as a road worker fir theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing but when i got home, the signs were all there.
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Bignate1213
šŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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All the metal things fell off the neck of my guitar.

I didn't fret.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Urwinator
šŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
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One day I hope to explore all the cool things in Madison County, Iowa...

But Iā€™m just not ready to cross those bridges.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/theprints
šŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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The best thing about all the stuff Jesus gave to the poor, is that he gave it all to them for free.

You could say it was Jesus Priced.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/HopermanTheManOfFeel
šŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
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My wife and I were talking about starting a family and all the health things you're supposed to do like not eat processed sliced meats. Unfortunately she currently eats a turkey sandwich most days for her lunch.

I told her she better start trying alternatives soon, it's going to be hard to quit eating her current lunch cold turkey.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/-stormageddon-
šŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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To all the youth, the one thing I have learned throughout the years...

Is that I'm older than you.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
šŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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What do you call the greek demigod who's great at all things pi?

Circules.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/PixelPigu
šŸ“…︎ May 22 2016
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They say life's all about making the little things count

so I'm going to teach math to midgets.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/IAMBiSH
šŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
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He says things like this all the time

Sitting in my parent's living room with my wife, she just got some new TOMS shoes with sheet music on them.

Dad: Walks into living room and stares at wife's shoes

Wife: What are you staring at? laughs

Dad: Oh sorry, I was just...noting...your shoes

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/DarthDaddy42
šŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2014
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Clearing all the weights/workout things from the Nursery to prepare for the baby's arrival

Husband hands me the only thing that's mine (a small 8lb dumbbell) and says "it's really time you carried your own weight around here." I think he's ready for the baby to get here.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/jennare
šŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2015
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"[I'm] suddenly overwhelmed with piano nostalgia. I loved to play, but my really favorite piano thing was watching the tuner take apart the piano and meticulously work on the strings. I could watch it all day."

me: "So, you have pianist's envy?"

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Technohazard
šŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2016
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