I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.

Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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I am really fed up with all the president name jokes.

I will just avoid reddit until christmas. They should have gotten old bi den.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwillbecomehokage
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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At a conference there was the most courageous person who went by the name Sam. Before he got on the stage to deliver his impressive speech, all attendees begged him not to sing.

But Samsung anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vapingpigeon94
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Why did all the witches have to wear name tags at a party?

So they knew which witch was which.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/threedeenyc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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How does the farmer remember the names of all his chickens?

He writes them down in his book book book.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Can you name all the bones in the body?

It's called a skeleton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BamaPaul
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Alright guys, which is the best name for a llama? (All pun based)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bed_dweller
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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I write my name in cursive all the time -

It's my signature move.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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Are all the names of the states sexy

Or am Idaho

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/free-bi-fi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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Did you hear about the drummer who decided to name all his daughters the same name?

Anna 1, Anna 2, Anna 3, Anna 4.

πŸ‘︎ 235
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MusicianNerd26
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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I met the world’s greatest security guard the other day. When I asked him the secret, he said it was all in his name.

Barry R.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DenialTwister
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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Robin: Did you name all of the products in the bathroom after yourself Batman?

Batman: Of course not.

Robin: Batshampoo?

Batman: Okay, yes there is that.

Robin:.........

Batman: But there is also Conditioner Gordon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrislaker92
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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Leaving the name in because this deserves all the credit possible (post linked in comments)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayisforhorses101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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I’m tired of all the creative ways to name Vietnamese soup restaurants.

It’s become a Pho King joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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Ive just deleted all the German names from my phone.

Now, I'm completely Hans-free

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/feathersoft
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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2 puns, 1 post. Resistol (resist all) poison. This type of hat is called a Cattleman, hence the name β€œThe Rattleman”
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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My daughter is 14 and dating. Her boyfriend’s name is Braden, I think..so I just use any B name that comes to mind to annoy her. Braden, Brody, Bradley, Brandon, Bruce, Bryce, etc. Looking for more suggestions! I also talk gangster to her all the time to get her going. Being a β€˜Dad Joke’ Dad is fun!
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lachrondizzle23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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Magic Johnson is the best porn name of all Tim enjoy affiliated with the industry
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJ-Fein
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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I name all my farts 'the chair'...

That way I can always use the defense, "That was the chair"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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If you wrote down the names of all the works by a 19th century Polish composer...

...you'd have a Chopin List.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bubonis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Its all in the name

I told my dad I had a friend with the last name Case. He replied, do they have a brother named Justin?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whateverig7
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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I've decided I want to manage an all Muslim 80's cover band. The name?

Koran Koran

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πŸ‘€︎ u/belfaj26
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2016
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What is the name of Russia's most famous pop star of all time?

Lady Gagarin.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sephjnr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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Do y’all think, when the name Jupiter was suggested, someone said it had a nice ring to it?
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/quadsforthebroads
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
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This old guy comes into my job all the time with dad jokes & i have to pretend they are funny. "Can you name 3 cars that start with P?"

"So there is pontiac. Porsche. Packard.. You know what a Packard is, dont ya? Or is that a little before your time? How old are you? So you know what it is then, right?" So he sets up the joke incorrectly by not giving me a chance to name any. But to him, this joke is SO funny, there is no way to make it unfunny. ".. well none of them because they all start with gas." Then he turns and acts like he is about to walk out of the store, like he dropped the proverbial mic. So I feign a half smile & say "yep. Gas. Thats a good one."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dazegoby
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2014
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What do you name a dog who lies near the front door all day?

Matt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iZacAsimov
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2017
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My name is Nick. My dad told me this all the time growing up

You'll never be penniless, but you'll always be Nicholas..

god dammit

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nocnoc9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2014
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"What are the names of all 10 reindeer mentioned in 'Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer'?"

"Well, let me see. There's Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolf, and ... and... There are only 9 reindeer mentioned in the song."

"Nope. There's 10. You forgot 'Olive'."

"'Olive'? There's not a reindeer named 'Olive'."

"Yes there is. 'β™« Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names...β™«'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmyxlplyx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2016
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I asked my wife to name all the reindeer...

She named the normal 8 plus Rudolf and was confused when I said she missed one.

I finally told her about Olive, the other Reindeer. The one that used to laugh and call him (Rudolf) names.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackdragon8577
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2016
🚨︎ report
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used it to roll his joint.

He is now high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I decided to delete all the german names from my phone...

It’s Hans-free now

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluffermuff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the drummer who gave all his daughters the same name?

Anna 1, Anna 2, Anna 3, Anna 4...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Just deleted all the German names from my phone

It's Hans-free

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexMV14
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2015
🚨︎ report

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