My boyfriend doesn't know me at all, he keeps giving me birds as gifts, and I don't understand it. Should we break up?
Edit: He actually just gave me five golden rings! Maybe he really does know me (:Edit2: More birds again
All crime should be punished, no exceptions. That is why I called the cops on my cat after she gave birth to kittens. Now don’t judge me for doing what had to be done, we all know
I don't know how you all are feelin' this morning....
...but I'd say today is a 10/10.
I know capitals of all the states
My son: What is the capital of Nebraska?
Me: N
Mark lamented to his social group, "I believe we really don't know anything about each other and that we're only bonding through humor. Do you notice as soon as we're out of jokes, all of our "conversations" stop?"
To remedy this, his social group decided that the next time they gathered they would act like Mark's brothers.
I know hitler isn’t alive today because if he was, he would have seen all of the jokes made off of him and be fürherious.
You know what I like about the novel All Quiet On The Western Front?
I find the book to be remarque-able
I wanted a fancy silk thing to go around my neck, but I didn’t know what to call it, so I asked all my friends. 50% said ascot, 50%said cravat.
Do you know where I keep all my Dad jokes?
I thought you should all know that I put a bounty on Putin's head.
The workers at the animal shelter always ask me how I know the names of all of the dogs there.
"Easy" I replied
They all have collar ID
I know all the numbers of pi.
I know all the numbers of pi, I just don't know their order.
Johnny Appleseed went to the doctor one day. "Doctor," he said, "My feet hurt and I don't know why. Maybe it's all the walking?"
The doctor examined him and asked him some questions about his line of work.
"Well, Johnny," he said, "I'm afraid you have planter fascitis."
I know times are tough for a lot of people right now. All over the planet, humanity struggles with problems that seem to never go away... just remember, you can always rest assured that at the end of the day...
Do you know where I store all my dad jokes?
A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?
Because they're all not 'C's.
Some guy I know collected watches. He’d use to link them all together into a sort of belt.
I thought it was a waist of time.
I said to my sister "did you know there's a computer currently calculating all the digits of pi?" she asked "when did it start?"
I told her "at 3"
This was an actual conversation me and my sister had lol
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, “An evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...
...he’s really a big lyre.
At least I know who is responsible for all these drugs in schools…
I really wanted my friend's wild party to go well, so I sent all the sexy people I know.
My thots and players go out to him
Among all the politically incorrect jokes I know, here’s my favourite:
Benjamin Franklin was the greatest US President.
Want to know where I store all of my jokes?
I don't know why but frozen desserts all on their own scare me.
Every time I see one ice cream
So I was singing All Star in the car the other day, and my friend asked “How do you know all the words” so I swiftly replied:
May be here may not all I know is we need zylophone
I deleted all of the Germans I know out of my phone's contacts
I have finale cracked the most difficult problem. I now know all the digits of pi.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer the other day. I don’t know what he laced them with but, I’ve been tripping all day....
I know all 25 letters of the alphabet....
This isn’t mine and I don’t know who made it, but it’s been on my phone for so many years and I haven’t seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
I know Reddit has servers that all of our jokes are stored in, but I’ve come up with a better solution
I know it's bad but leaf me alone... you're the root of all my problems.
I know that I've told y'all this before, but after not turning in his assignments and not coming to class all school year...
You know, I’m really getting into all this stuff going on about Moderna, Pfizer, BioNTech and AstraZeneca...
I find it absolutely vaccinating
I know that we all have different views and argue a lot on reddit, but here’s something we have in common.
People who are reading this are on the same page.
You want to know where I store all my dad jokes?
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, “An evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...
...he’s really a big lyre.
You know where I store all my dad jokes?
I know where to store all the great dad jokes found in this subreddit
You want to know where I store all my dad jokes?
You want to know where I keep all my dad jokes?
You know where I keep all my dad jokes?
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