Alexander Voloshin Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Mercury-Redstone 3. Freedom 7. March 25,1961. Alan Shepard. First manned spaceflight. Suborbital. Basic test of manned spacecraft.

Vostok 1. Cedar. April 12,1961. Yuri Gagarin. A single orbit flight test of Vostok systems.

Mercury-Redstone 4. Liberty 7. June 18,1961. Virgil Grissom. Repeat of Freedom 7.

Vostok 2. Eagle. August 6-7,1961. Gherman Titov. First long-duration space mission.

Mercury-Redstone 5. Eagle 7. October 3,1961. Gordon Cooper. Last Mercury-Redstone flight. At apogee,Cooper used his retro-rockets to boost apogee to 158 miles.

Mercury-Atlas 6. Friendship 7. January 27,1962. John Glenn. First American manned orbital mission.

Vostok 3. Wolf. February 20-22,1962. Grigori Nelyubov. Repeat of Vostok 2. Limited human physiology experiments performed.

Mercury-Atlas 7. Aurora 7. May 24,1962. Scott Carpenter. Longer repeat of Friendship 7.

Vostok 4. Falcon. July 26-30,1962. Andrian Nikolayev. First manned group flight.

Vostok 5. Golden Eagle. July 27-August 1,1962. Pavel Popovich. See above.

Mercury-Atlas 8. Sigma 7. Wally Schirra. August 11,1962. Science and engineering experiments conducted. This mission would’ve lasted 15 hours,but a fire broke out which forced an early landing,forcing NASA to abandon the use of pure oxygen.

Vostok 6. Diamond. November 4-6,1962. Pavel Belyayev. High-altitude mission (580 miles).

Vostok 7. Hawk. March 10-15,1963. Valery Bykovsky. Second manned group flight.

Vostok 8. Seagull. March 12-16,1963. Valentina Ponomareva. First spaceflight with a woman.

Mercury-Atlas 9. Delta 7. May 15-16,1963. Deke Slayton. Extended science spaceflight.

Vostok 9. Baikal. August 24-28,1963. Boris Volynov. Repeat of Vostok 6. Achieved 820 miles altitude. Last solo Vostok mission. Landed one day early due to cosmonaut’s health.

Vostok 10. Wolf. December 7-14,1963. Grigori Nelyubov,Georgi Katys. First spaceflight with two crew members. Conducted tether experiments with upper stage.

Kosmos 54. March 16-17,1964. Tested the Vostok 11 airlock.

Mercury-Atlas 10. Faith 7. March 18-20,1964. Gordo Cooper. Last Mercury flight.

Vostok 11. Ruby. May 1-5,1964. Vladimir Komarov,Alexei Leonov. Leonov performed first EVA. Achieved 785 miles altitude.

Vostok 12. Cedar. October 12-15,1964. Yuri Gagarin,Sergei Khrushchev,Zhanna Sergeychik. First spaceflight with three crew members. Intended long duration scientific mission. Aborted early due to political reasons.

Vostok 13. Diamond. January 5-11,1965. Pavel Belyayev,Viktor Gorbatko,Ir

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

BamBOO!

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

Just to clarify, 12345678

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

But nobody ever mentions his sister, Onya, who invented the starter pistol.