Everybody knows Alan Turing who cracked the enigma codes...
But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided all his snacks, sandwiches and drinks
Why did Alan Turing have uniform body density?
My dad asked me if I had heard of Murphy's Law
I said "Yes, dad. If something can go wrong, it will go wrong".
He then asked me if I had heard of Coles Law
"No, dad. What is that one"?
He says, "thinly sliced cabbage".
What’s the difference between in-laws & out-laws?
My Mother-in-law is 80% Irish
What does a law student and a recovering alcoholic have in common?
They both have to pass the bar
They passed a law banning hindsight
I wish I knew this beforehand
What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his mother-in-law?
Nothing, he was gladiator.
it is against the law to pester and bother the large aquatic grass eating animals
this is considered crimes against hugh manatee
Due to complaints, Hawaii passed a law where you're not allowed to laugh above a certain decibel
You can only use a low ha
In Texas it's illegal to serve pie without ice cream.
As a matter of Texan pride; remember the à la mode.
My wife and I were really happy for 20 years ...
An unprepared law student walked into a bar exam...
A good lawyer knows the law...
A great lawyer knows the judge.
What kind of sick bird breaks the law?
An ill eagle
(Credit to my first grader 😊)
The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week
Well it’s not a law it’s a mandate
Did you hear about the law they just passed in Hawaii prohibiting loud laughter?
Your laughter must be kept to a low "Ha".
My mums sister keeps taking the law into her own hands...
Mark Zuckerburg failed his Turing Test today.
He doesn't know how to feel about it.
What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a mother in law
Fun Fact For The Day...
When Alan Turing was cracking codes during WW2, his sister Kay was providing drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues.
How much does a rainbow weigh?
Not much, they're actually pretty light!
Strange it seems, Alan Turning
I asked my future father-in-law for his daughter's hand in marriage.
He said I hope you take the rest of her too!!
Just remembered a classic my brother-in-law dropped after my niece was born (A couple months ago)
My mother FaceTimed me so I could show her my sister and her baby
I went into my sister's room and said, "Hey mom wants to see you. Can you say a quick hello?"
Sister: Sure but just for a minute, I'm exhausted.
BIL, without dropping a beat: Hi exhausted, I'm a new dad!
Old but gold
Son: Dad why is my sister named Teresa?
Dad: Well your mom loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter.
Son: Thanks dad.
Dad: You’re welcome Alan.
I heard that by law you need to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden
How the hell am I supposed to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
An Astrologist and Law Enforcement Officer are on a date
Astrologist: I’m an Aries, what’s your sign?
Cop: I’m a LEO.
I was lecturing on the criminal law concept of hot pursuit, and I asked there were any questions.
A student asked "what if you're ugly?'
As an old dad, I was befuddled for a moment before asking "did you just tell a dad joke?" She grinned, and I commissioned her as a dad on the spot.
What is the difference between a outlaw and a in-law?
What do lawyers wear in court?
Dad joke face off
I have been challenged to a dad joke face off. I need at least 20 dad jokes that will make someone laugh before I do to win a tournament. Give me your best!
I told my mother-in-law there's a leek in her sink.
Has anyone heard of the recent Cole’s Law?
Some say coleslaw should not have Mayo...
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives
I replied, no, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.
I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
Due to noise complaints, they passed a law in Hawaii that you’re no longer allowed to laugh above a certain decibel...
Now you can only use a low ha
The Turings
Everybody knows Alan Turing who cracked the enigma codes.
But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided all his snacks, sandwiches and drinks.
Did you know in the 1950’s Hawaii passed a law that people were not allowed to laugh above a certain decibel due to too many noise complaints?
Now you can only do a-low-ha
When is it against the law to have a sick bird?
Did you hear about the alcoholic law student?
She couldn't pass the bar.
You've heard of Newton's laws, but have you heard of Cole's law?
Murphy's Law states anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Have you heard of Cole's Law?
Son : "Why is my sister called Teresa?"
Dad : Cause your mum loves Easter and its an anagram."
Son : "Thanks dad."
Dad : "No problem, Alan."
We've all heard of Murphy's Law...
But have you heard of Cole's Law?
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