Congrats!
Phil
Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.
If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.
Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???
Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.
Thank you,
A Dad.
In peak offseason form, and now becoming a yearly tradition. I did have two rules, Had to be somewhat different, couldn't use Justin Fields as Just Infields / Just Infidels, if possible and I couldn't add a suffix to the name.
There could definitely be better ones, I used this website.
I also, did this 2 years ago and last year!
| Arizona Cardinals | Ran Zodiacal Rains |
|---|---|
| Zaven Collins | All Zinc Ovens |
| Rondale Moore | Noodle Roamer |
| Marco Wilson | Oilman Crows |
| Victor Dimukeje | Rude Joke Victim |
| Tay Gowan | Yawn Goat |
| James Wiggins | Gems In Jigsaw |
| Michal Menet | Mental Chime |
| Atlanta Falcons | Tan Canal Floats |
|---|---|
| Kyle Pitts | Pesky Tilt |
| Richie Grant | Itching Rear |
| Jalen Mayfield | Jelly Fan Media |
| Darren Hall | All Herd Ran |
| Drew Dalman | Madder Lawn |
| Ta'Quon Graham | Quoth Anagram |
| Adetokunbo Ogundeji | Junketed Bongo Audio |
| Avery Williams | Am Silly Waiver |
| Frank Darby | Dank Fry Bar |
| Baltimore Ravens | Irremovable Ants |
|---|---|
| Rashod Bateman | Marathon Based |
| Odafe Oweh | Hoofed Awe |
| Ben Cleveland | Valence Blend |
| Brandon Stephens | Sharp End Bonnets |
| Tylan Wallace | A Latency Wall |
| Shaun Wade | Nude Awash |
| Daelin Hayes | Hyena Ladies |
| Ben Mason | Man Bones |
| Buffalo Bills | Fulfills A Bob |
|---|---|
| Gregory Rousseau | Go Arouse Surgery |
| Carlos Basham Jr | Major Arch Slabs |
| Spencer Brown | Brews Corn Pen |
| Tommy Doyle | My Toy Model |
| Marquez Stevenson | Semen Quartz Ovens |
| Damar Hamlin | Hard Mailman |
| Rachad Wildgoose | A Discharged Wool |
| Jack Anderson | Sand Can Joker |
| Carolina Panthers | Chaparral Tension |
|---|---|
| Jaycee Horn | Enjoy Reach |
| Terrace Marshall Jr | Taller Charmer Jars |
| Brady Christensen | Enrich Bystanders |
| Tommy Tremble | Myrtle Mom Bet |
| Chuba Hubbard | Had Car Hubbub |
| Daviyon Nixon | Avoid Onyx Inn |
| Keith Taylor | Troika Ethyl |
| Deonte Brown | Bored Newton |
| Shi Smith | Shim Hits |
| Thomas Fletcher | The Moral Chest |
| Phil Hoskins | His Lip Honks |
| Chicago Bears | He Basic Cargo |
|---|---|
| Justin Fields | Infused Jilts |
| Teven Jenkins | N/A |
| Larry Borom | Marry Or Lob |
| Khalil Herbert | Rake Birth Hell |
| Dazz Newsome | Waned Mezzos |
| Thomas Graham Jr | Hath Major Grams |
| Khyiris Tonga | Shaky Rioting |
| Cincinnati Bengals | Enticing Cannibals |
|---|---|
| Ja'Marr Chase | *Rajah C |
[Encerrado] São Paulo 2 x 0 Palmeiras
Gols São Paulo: Luan (36/1T), Luciano (31/2T)
Gols Palmeiras: N/D
Campeonato Paulista 2021 - Final
Estádio: Morumbi
Data: 23 de Maio de 2021, 16:00
Link para Live Match Thread
Escalações:
| São Paulo (3-5-2) | Palmeiras (3-5-2) |
|---|---|
| Tiago Volpi, Arboleda, Miranda, Léo, Igor Vinícius, Luan (Rodrigo Nestor), Liziero (William), Gabriel Sara, Reinaldo, Igor Gomes (Joao Rojas), Pablo (Luciano) | Weverton, Luan (Gabriel Menino), Gustavo Gómez, Renan, Mayke, Felipe Melo (Danilo), Danilo Barbosa (Patrick de Paula), Raphael Veiga (Gustavo Scarpa), Victor Luis (Wesley), Luiz Adriano, Rony |
| Suplentes: | Suplentes: |
| Lucas Perri, Bruno Alves, Orejuela, Welington , Hernanes, Shaylon, Eder, Galeano | Jailson, Alan Empereur, Michel, Viña, Lucas Lima, Zé Rafael , Willian |
| Técnico: Hernán Crespo | Técnico: Abel Ferreira |
Arbitragem: Raphael Claus (Árbitro Principal), Daniel Paulo Ziolli (Assistente 1), Neuza Ines Back (Assistente 2), Thiago Luis Scarascati (Quarto Árbitro)
Lances
Começa o Primeiro Tempo!
08/1T Perigo! Rony recebe no mano a mano com Léo, espera Danilo Barbosa e toca para o volante, que finaliza para fora. Boa chance para o Palmeiras no campo de ataque.
11/1T 🟨 Cartão amarelo para Liziero.
24/1T 🟨 Cartão amarelo para Igor Gomes.
30/1T Que vacilo! Miranda erra na saída de bola e entrega o lance para Luiz Adriano, mas o próprio zagueiro se recupera para evitar a finalização do adversário.
31/1T 🟨 Cartão amarelo para Renan por interromper o contra-ataque do São Paulo.
33/1T 🟨 Cartão amarelo para Lucas Lima por reclamação.
36/1T ⚽ Gol do São Paulo! Felipe Melo afasta cruzamento nos pés de Luan. Volante do São Paulo domina, ajeita e chuta para o gol. A bola desvia justamente no mesmo jogador do Palmeiras e entra para o gol.
52/1T Termina o Primeiro Tempo!
[Intervalo] 🔃 Substituição no São Paulo: SAIU: Pablo, ENTROU: Luciano
Começa o Segundo Tempo!
01/2T 🔃 Substituição no Palmeiras: SAIU: Danilo Barbosa, ENTROU: Patrick de Paula.
01/2T 🔃 Substituição no Palmeiras: SAIU: Felipe Melo, ENTROU: Danilo.
05/2T QUASE! Luciano aproveita o vacilo da defesa do Palmeiras, invade a área e bate no canto, mas para fora. São Paulo ganha esca
Well, toucan play at that game.
Minimum five matches.
| Wrestler | Wins | Losses | Drawes | Win% |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Colten Gunn | 17 | 0 | 0 | 1.000 |
| Jade Cargill | 6 | 0 | 0 | 1.000 |
| Austin Gunn | 26 | 2 | 0 | 0.929 |
| Miro | 13 | 1 | 0 | 0.929 |
| Ethan Page | 12 | 1 | 0 | 0.923 |
| Cash Wheeler | 21 | 3 | 0 | 0.875 |
| Jon Moxley | 42 | 6 | 1 | 0.867 |
| Abadon | 13 | 2 | 0 | 0.867 |
| Brian Cage | 30 | 5 | 0 | 0.857 |
| Ryo Mizunami | 12 | 2 | 0 | 0.857 |
| Billy Gunn | 27 | 5 | 0 | 0.844 |
| Doc Gallows | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0.833 |
| Karl Anderson | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0.833 |
| MJF | 24 | 5 | 0 | 0.828 |
| Hikaru Shida | 38 | 8 | 0 | 0.826 |
| Dax Harwood | 21 | 5 | 0 | 0.808 |
| Ricky Starks | 29 | 7 | 0 | 0.806 |
| Lance Archer | 24 | 6 | 0 | 0.800 |
| Wardlow | 12 | 3 | 0 | 0.800 |
| Stu Grayson | 35 | 9 | 0 | 0.795 |
| Kenny Omega | 46 | 12 | 0 | 0.793 |
| Thunder Rosa | 19 | 5 | 0 | 0.792 |
| Tay Conti | 22 | 6 | 0 | 0.786 |
| Brandi Rhodes | 11 | 3 | 0 | 0.786 |
| Brodie Lee | 11 | 3 | 0 | 0.786 |
| Ivelisse | 18 | 5 | 0 | 0.783 |
| Cody Rhodes | 40 | 11 | 2 | 0.774 |
| Evil Uno | 36 | 11 | 0 | 0.766 |
| Big Swole | 29 | 9 | 0 | 0.763 |
| Scorpio Sky | 43 | 14 | 0 | 0.754 |
| Matt Hardy | 18 | 6 | 0 | 0.750 |
| Adam Page | 40 | 14 | 0 | 0.741 |
| Serena Deeb | 8 | 3 | 0 | 0.727 |
| Chris Jericho | 29 | 11 | 1 | 0.720 |
| Luchasaurus | 43 | 17 | 0 | 0.717 |
| The Bunny | 15 | 6 | 0 | 0.714 |
| Orange Cassidy | 26 | 10 | 2 | 0.711 |
| Dustin Rhodes | 26 | 11 | 0 | 0.703 |
| Matt Jackson | 39 | 17 | 0 | 0.696 |
| Nyla Rose | 32 | 14 | 0 | 0.696 |
| Eddie Kingston | 16 | 7 | 0 | 0.696 |
| Anthony Bowens |
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
She said apple-lutely
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.
I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.
When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."
From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"
Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.
Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!
AEW is the land of faction warfare. A majority of people are part of a team or associated with one. Here is the current state by my count.
Dark Order
Current Members
| Alan Angels "5" |
|---|
| Alex Reynolds |
| Colt Cabana |
| Evil Uno |
| John Silver |
| Pres10 Vance |
| Stu Grayson |
| Anna Jay |
Associated Wrestlers: Hangman Page, Tay Conti
Enemies: Matt Hardy Empire, The Acclaimed, Alan Angels
Nightmare Family
Current Members
| Arn Anderson |
|---|
| Austin Gunn |
| Billy Gunn |
| Brandi Rhodes |
| Cody Rhodes |
| Colten Gunn |
| Dustin Rhodes |
| Lee Johnson |
Associated Wrestlers: Red Velvet
Enemies: Nightmare Family Wolfpack, Shaq, Jade Cargill, The Pretty Picture
Nightmare Family Wolfpack (Nightmare Factory)
Current Members
| Aaron Solow |
|---|
| Anthony Ogogo |
| Nick Comoroto |
| QT Marshall |
Associated Wrestlers: Shawn Dean
Enemies: Nightmare Family
The Elite
Current Members
| Matt Jackson | AEW Tag Team Champion |
|---|---|
| Nick Jackson | AEW Tag Team Champion |
Associated Wrestlers: Brandon Cutler, Jon Moxley, SCU (Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian)
Enemies: The Invisible Hand
The Invisible Hand (Super Elite)
Current Members
| Kenny Omega | AEW World Champion |
|---|---|
| Karl Anderson | |
| Luke Gallows | |
| Michael Nakazawa | |
| Don Callis | Literal Human Garbage |
Associated Wrestlers: Kenta (Bullet Club?)
Enemies: The Elite, Jon Moxley, Death Triangle, Eddie Kingston, The Sydals
Team Taz
Current Members
| Brian Cage | FTW Champion |
|---|---|
| Hook | |
| Powerhouse Hobbs | |
| Ricky Starks | |
| Taz |
Associated Wrestlers: None
Enemies: Sting and Darby Allin
The Pinnacle
Current Wrestlers
| Cash Wheeler |
|---|
| Dax Harwood |
| MJF |
| Shawn Spears |
| Wardlow |
| Tully Blanchard |
Associated Wrestlers: None
Enemies: The Inner Circle
The Inner Circle
Current Members
| Chris Jericho |
|---|
| Jake Hager |
| Ortiz |
| Sammy Guevarra |
| Santana |
Associated Wrestlers: None
Enemies: The Pinnacle, Young Bucks
The Best Friends
Current Members
| Chuck Taylor |
|---|
| Orange Cassidy |
| Trent Beretta |
Associated Wrestlers: Kris Statlander
Enemies: Miro, Kip Sabian, Penelope Ford
Matt Hardy Empire (Hardy Family Office)
Current Members
| Allie (The Bunny) |
|---|
| Isiah Kassidy |
| Matt Hardy |
| Marq Quen |
| The Blade |
| The Butcher |
Associated Wrestlers: TH2
Enemies: Darby Allin, Sting, the Dark Order
Death Triangle
Current Members
| Pac |
|---|
| Penta El Zero M |
| Rey Fenix |
Associated Wrestlers: Laredo Kid, Alex Abrahantes
Enemies: T
... keep reading on reddit ➡Japan.
second hand stores!
it's Hans free now..
