Alan Wake sounds like Patrick Bateman with his tone and cadence.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCharles311
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2021
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Inside Java Podcast - β€œJava's steady march towards strong encapsulation” with Alan Bateman inside.java/2021/06/29/po…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daviddel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Video: Loom - Modern scalable concurrency for the Java platform (Alan Bateman) inside.java/2021/02/04/pr…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daviddel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What's new in the new Loom Early Access (EA) build (by Alan Bateman) (spoilers: changes in thread builder, scoped variables, executors, debugging; and what to look forward to) mail.openjdk.java.net/pip…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/efge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Project Loom: Fibers and Continuations for Java by Alan Bateman youtube.com/watch?v=vbGbX…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sureshg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Project Loom: Fibers and Continuations for Java by Alan Bateman youtube.com/watch?v=vbGbX…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/javinpaul
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
[JVMLS] Project Loom with Ron Pressler and Alan Bateman (35:47) youtube.com/watch?v=J31o0…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BenoitParis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Project Loom: Fibers and Continuations for Java by Alan Bateman youtube.com/watch?v=vbGbX…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/epta_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Project Loom: Fibers and Continuations for Java by Alan Bateman youtube.com/watch?v=vbGbX…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/javinpaul
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
In "American Psycho", supposing Patrick Bateman actually killed those people, who cleaned up Alan's apartment? (REPOST FROM r/Ask)

In the scene where he sleeps with the redhead and the hooker, there is a closet with dead bodies in it, a room with "DIE YUPPIE PIG" or something to that effect painted on the wall and more bodies scattered throughout, and finally a woman with a chainsaw sticking out of her back at the bottom of the stairwell. The next day there is no trace of any of this. . EDIT: And a bloody corpse in the bathroom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CJLB
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2012
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The 2022 U.S. Theatrical Release Schedule (as of January 1, 2022.)

(Up-To-Date as of January 21, 2022)


January 21, 2022

(WIDE)

The King’s Daughter (Action/With: Pierce Brosnan, William Hurt, Benjamin Walker, Kaya Scodelario/PG/1 hr 30 min/Gravitas Ventures/d: Sean McNamara/Wide)

Redeeming Love (Drama/With: Abigail Cowen, Tom Lewis, Famke Janssen, Logan Marshall-Green/PG-13/2 hr 14 min/Universal Pictures/d: D.J. Caruso/Limited)

(LIMITED)

The Tiger Rising (Family/With: Dennis Quaid, Katharine McPhee, Queen Latifah, Madalen Mills/PG/1 hr 42 min/Variance Films/d: Ray Giarratana/Limited)

A Shot Through The Wall (Crime/With: Kenny Leu, Ciara RenΓ©e, Fiona Fu, Tzi Ma/1 hr 30 min/Vertical Entertainment/d: Aimee Long/Limited)

The Hunting (Horror/With: Angela Cole, Alan Tuskes, Keith Migra, Heidi Azaro/1 hr 33 min/Vertical Entertainment/d: Mark Andrew Hamer/Limited)

Simple Passion (RomDram/With: Laetitia Dosch, Sergei Polunin, Lou-Teymour Thion, Caroline Ducey/1 hr 39 min/Strand Releasing/d: Danielle Arbid/Limited)


January 26, 2022

(LIMITED)

Compartment Number 6 (Drama/ With Yuriy Borisov, Seidi Haarla, Yuliya Aug, Dinara Drukarova/R/1 hr 47 min/Sony Pictures Classics/d: Juho Kuosmanen/Limited)


January 28, 2022

(LIMITED)

Charli XCX: Alone Together (Documentary/With: Charli XCX/1 hr 7 min/Greenwich Entertainment/d: Bradley Bell, Pablo Jones-Soler/Limited)

Clean (Crime/With: Adrien Brody, Glenn Fleshler, Richie Merritt, Chandler DuPont/1 hr 34 min/IFC Films/d: Paul Solet/Limited)

In The Forest (Thriller/With: Lyman Ward, Time Winters, Kaitlyn Dias, Debbon Ayer/Vertical Entertainment/d: Hector Barron/Limited)

Sundown (Drama/With: Tim Roth, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Iazua Larios, Henry Goodman/R/1 hr 23 min/Bleecker Street Media/d: Michel Franco/Limited)

They/Them/Us (RomComDram/With: Joey Slotnick, Amy Hargreaves, Jack Steiner, Shanna Strong/1 hr 30 min/Blended Family Productions/d: John Sherman/Limited)


February 4, 2022

(WIDE)

Jackass Forever (Comedy/With: Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Machine Gun Kelly/R/1 hr 36 min/Paramount Pictures/d: Jeff Tremaine/Wide)

Moonfall (Disaster/With: Halle Berry, Patric

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yawningvoid28
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
🚨︎ report
Potential Dead By Daylight Licensed Killers And What Their Aliases Could Be

There are multiple possible killers from other franchises that we could see come to Dead by Daylight like Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th or Pennywise from IT.

And whenever they do come, they always have an alias within the game. So this is a list about many characters who we possibly could see as a killer and what their alias could be.

Let's start off with the franchises mentioned in the player satisfaction survey which had a question that asked what franchises we would like to see in Dead by Daylight.

Movies/TV

FRANCHISE NAME ALIAS
Alien Xenomorph The Alien/The Xenomorph
Candyman Daniel "Candyman" Robitaille The Candyman
Carrie Carrie White The Prom Queen
Friday the 13th Jason Voorhees The Drowned/The Undead/The Slasher
IT Pennywise The Deadlights
Ju-On: The Grudge Kayako Saeki The Grudge
Kingdom Monster/Infected The Infected
Lovecraft Country Shoggoth The Shoggoth
Poltergeist Poltergeist The Poltergeist
Prometheus The Engineer The Engineer
Scooby Doo Mr. "The Creeper" Carswell The Creeper
Supernatural Azazel The Tyrant
Sweet Home Mr. Kim The Monster
The Babadook Mr. Babadook The Babadook
The Exorcist Regan MacNeil The Possessed
The Fly Seth Brundle The Fly
The Mummy Imhotep The Mummy
The Nun Valak The Nun
The Shining Jack Torrance The Caretaker
The Thing The Thing The Thing
The Walking Dead Beta The Whisperer
Train to Busan Yong-suk The Zombie

Anime

FRANCHISE NAME ALIAS
Ajin: Demi- Human Samuel T. "Sato" Owen The Ajin
Attack On Titan Titan The Titan
Death Note Light Yagami The God
Demon Slayer Muzan Kibutsuji The King
Fullmetal Alchemist The Dwarf In The Flask The Father/The Homunculus
Hellsing The Major The Major
Jujutsu Kaisen Mahito The Sadist
Koutetsujou no Kabaneri Kabane The Kabane
Parasyte Gotou The Parasites
PSYCHO-PASS Shogo Makashima The Criminal
Tokyo Ghoul Eto Yoshimura The Ghoul

Video Games

FRANCHISE NAME ALIAS
Alan Wake Taken Hunter The Taken
BioShock Big Daddy The Bouncer
Castlevania Dracula Vlad Œepeş The Vampire/The Count
Control Hiss Agent The Corrupted/The Agent
Dead Space Necromorph The Necromorph
Devil May Cry Nelo Angelo The Knight
DOOM Marauder The Marauder
Final Fantasy Sephiroth The Angel
Five Nights At Freddy's William "Springtrap" Afton The Attraction
Half Life Headcrab Zombie The Necrotic
The Evil Within The Keeper The Keeper
The Last Of Us Clicker The Clicker
Until Dawn
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CinderP200
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Di quale personaggio vorresti essere amico?

Quale personaggio dei libri ti ha colpito tanto da volergli essere amico?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/w0rkingmem0ry
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2021
🚨︎ report
SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anywhereiroa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
🚨︎ report
2021 PWI 500 Full List!!

https://preview.redd.it/a5ye3bmjdbm71.jpg?width=881&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0969783e4894df0c322f9a3bc58a0ba0126c9019

The PWI β€œ500” is not a ranking for the calendar year January through December. The β€œevaluation period” this year ran from July 1, 2020, through June 30, 2021.

1 Kenny Omega

2 Roman Reigns

3 Bobby Lashley

4 Drew McIntyre

5 Kota Ibushi

6 Jon Moxley

7 Will Ospreay

8 Finn Balor

9 Shingo Takagi

10 Rich Swann

11 Cody Rhodes

12 Randy Orton

13 Big E

14 Darby Allin

15 Tetsuya Naito

16 Karrion Kross

17 Ultimo Guerrero

18 Suwama

19 Chris Jericho

20 Jonathan Gresham

21 Orange Cassidy

22 Laredo Kid

23 Keiji Muto

24 Keith Lee

25 Kazuchika Okada

26 MJF

27 Braun Strowman

28 WALTER

29 EVIL

30 Nick Aldis

31 Jacob Fatu

32 Cesaro

33 PAC

34 Adam Page

35 AJ Styles

36 Daniel Bryan

37 Adam Cole

38 Miro

39 Jay White

40 Moose

41 Dragon Lee

42 El Hijo del Vikingo

43 Johnny Gargano

44 Trish Adora

45 Jey Uso

46 Jake Lee

47 Lee Moriarty

48 Seth Rollins

49 AJ Gray

50 Kyle O’Reilly

51 Jun Akiyama

52 Hiromu Takahashi

53 Lio Rush

54 Alexander

54 Hammerstone

55 Rey Fenix

56 Sheamus

57 Pagano

58 Shun Skywalker

59 Tom Lawlor

60 Go Shiozaki

61 Nick Gage

62 Hiroshi Tanahashi

63 Kevin Owens

64 Tony Deppen

65 Apollo Crews

66 Sammy Guevara

67 Takashi Sugiura

68 Caristico

69 Jungle Boy

70 Kofi Kingston

71 SANADA

72 Rohit Raju

73 Bronson Reed

74 Bray Wyatt

75 Eddie Kingston

76 Riddle

77 Eric Young

78 Trevor Murdoch

79 Naomichi Marufuji

80 Sami Zayn

81 Santos Escobar

82 Shinsuke Nakamura

83 Brian Cage

84 Myron Reed

85 Damian Priest

86 Eddie Edwards

87 Minoru Suzuki

88 Aron Stevens

89 The Miz

90 Tracy Williams

91 TJP

92 Chris Dickinson

93 Powerhouse Hobbs

94 Chris Bey

95 EFFY

96 Wheeler YUTA

97 WARHORSE

98 Da Pope

99 Black Taurus

100 Pete Dunne

101 Zack Sabre Jr.

102 El Desperado

103 Rey Mysterio

104 Lance Archer

105 Jeff Hardy

106 Joey Janela

107 Josh Alexander

108 Brody King

109 Fred Yehi

110 Jay Lethal

111 Allie Katch

112 Richard Holliday

113 Scorpio Sky

114 Sami Callihan

115 Pentagon Jr.

116 Matt Jackson

117 Nick Jackson

118 A-Kid

119 Mistico

120 Eita

121 Josh Woods

122 Ricky Starks

123 Ethan Page

124 JR Kratos

125 Kaito Kiyomiya

126 Tommaso Ciampa

127 Bandido

128 Mustafa Ali

129 QT Marshall

130 Kzy

131 Jay Briscoe

132 Kushida

133 Xavier Woods

134 Calvin Tankman

135 Brian Pillman Jr.

136 Konosuke Takeshita

137 JD Drake

138 Shane Ta

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 491
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wanmizm
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Just because it's a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CzarcasmRules
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
🚨︎ report
Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
🚨︎ report
Teams of the century (2000-Present)

This is my first topic starter on any Reddit board. I compiled a list of teams I consider to be each side in the NRL's best 17 over that period of time. I'm asking if there should be any changes to any of the teams and who would win a fictional competition? Who would play in a Grand Final ? or even a top 8 if you wanted, I have gone on a merit-based system so Thurston doesn't make the dogs' team over Sherwin etc.

Brisbane Broncos

  1. Darius Boyd

  2. Lote Tuqiri

  3. Justin Hodges

  4. Israel Folau

  5. Wendall Sailor

  6. Darren Lockyer

  7. Kevin Walters

  8. Shane Webcke

  9. Shaun Berrigan

  10. Petero Civoniceva

  11. Gorden Tallis

  12. Sam Thaiday

  13. Tonie Carroll

  14. Karmichael Hunt

  15. Payne Haas

  16. Corey Parker

  17. Brad Thorn

Canberra Raiders

  1. Clinton Schifkofske

  2. Jordan Rapana

  3. Jarrod Croker

  4. Joel Monaghan

  5. Blake Ferguson

  6. Jack Wighton

  7. George Williams

  8. Josh Papalii

  9. Josh Hodgson

  10. Ruben Wiki

  11. Elliott Whitehead

  12. Josh Bateman

  13. Jason Croker

  14. Mark McLinden

  15. Luke Davico

  16. David Shillington

  17. Alan Tongue

Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs

  1. Luke Patten

  2. Hazem El-Masri

  3. Nigel Vagana

  4. Josh Morris

  5. Matt Utai

  6. Braith Anasta

  7. Brent Sherwin

  8. James Graham

  9. Michael Ennis

  10. Steve Price

  11. Willie Mason

  12. Andrew Ryan

  13. Sonny-Bill Williams

  14. Ben Barba

  15. Mark O'Meley

  16. Josh Jackson

  17. Roy Asotasi

Cronulla Sharks

  1. David Peachey

  2. Mat Rogers

  3. Jack Bird

  4. Chris McKenna

  5. Valentine Holmes

  6. James Maloney

  7. Brett Kimmorley

  8. Jason Stevens

  9. Michael Ennis

  10. Andrew Fifita

  11. Luke Lewis

  12. Wade Graham

  13. Paul Gallen

  14. Preston Campbell

  15. Matt Prior

  16. Jayson Bukuya

  17. Greg Bird

Gold Coast Titans

  1. Will Zillman

  2. Kevin Gordon

  3. Mat Rogers

  4. Brian Kelly

  5. Anthony Don

  6. AJ Brimson

  7. Scott Prince

  8. Luke Bailey

  9. Nathan Friend

  10. Ryan James

  11. Nate Myles

  12. David Fifita

  13. Greg Bird

  14. Preston Campbell

  15. Anthony Laffranchi

  16. Mark Minichello

  17. Ashley Harrison

Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles

  1. Brett Stewart

  2. Tom Trbojevic

  3. Steve Matai

  4. Jamie Lyon

  5. Rueben Garrick

  6. Kieran Foran

  7. Daly Cherry-Evans

  8. Brent Kite

  9. Matt Ballin

  10. Addin Fonua-Blake

  11. Glenn Stewart

  12. Jack Trbojevic

  13. Ben Kennedy

  14. Michael Monaghan

  15. Martin Taupau

  16. Antony Watmough

  17. Steve Menzies

Melbourne Storm

  1. Billy Slater

  2. Josh Addo-Carr

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Andy59024896
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Petition to ban rants from this sub

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drak0ni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2022
🚨︎ report
French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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You've been hit by
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
🚨︎ report
I heard that by law you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justshtmypnts
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
🚨︎ report
I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/diggitygiggitycee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
🚨︎ report
Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
🚨︎ report
What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
🚨︎ report
Google Drive eTextbooks release thread (part-14)!+ Accepting requests every day
  • If you find your book in the thread below, send the number of the book via reddit chat or via telegram .
  • Almost all the books are in their latest editions and some of them are available in multiple editions too
  • Books (pdf) are delivered through Google-Drive link
  • You can also send requests via reddit chat or by telegram .
  • Also, upvote the post if you found it useful

Please find the list below

  1. Microeconomics, 9th Edition: Robert Pindyck & Daniel Rubinfeld

  2. Managerial Accounting, 3rd Edition: Charles E. Davis & Elizabeth Davis

  3. eBusiness: A Canadian Perspective for a Networked World, Canadian 4th Edition: Gerald Trites & J. Efrim Boritz

  4. Learning Together with Young Children: A Curriculum Framework for Reflective Teachers: Deb Curtis & Margie Carter

  5. Multicultural Teaching in the Early Childhood Classroom: Approaches, Strategies, and Tools, Preschool–2nd Grade: Mariana Souto-Manning

  6. Instructional Strategies for Middle and High School, 2nd Edition: Bruce E. Larson & Timothy A. Keiper

  7. Making Maps: A Visual Guide to Map Design for GIS, 3rd Edition: John Krygier & Denis Wood

  8. Introduction to Animal Science Global, Biological, Social and Industry Perspectives, 6th Edition: W. Stephen Damron

  9. Essentials of MIS, 13th Edition: Kenneth C. Laudon & Jane Laudon

  10. M: Management, 5th Edition: Thomas S Bateman

  11. Human Geography: Places and Regions in Global Context, 5th Edition : Paul L. Knox

  12. Your Health Today: Choices in a Changing Society, 5th Edition: Michael L. Teague & Sara L.C. Mackenzie & David M Rosenthal

  13. Your Health Today: Choices in a Changing Society, 6th Edition: Michael L. Teague & Sara L.C. Mackenzie & David M Rosenthal

  14. Introduction to Behavioral Research Methods, 7th Edition: Mark R. Leary

  15. Mathematics with Applications In the Management, Natural, and Social Sciences , 12th Edition: Margaret L. Lial & Thomas W. Hungerford & John P. Holcomb & Bernadette Mullins

  16. Understanding Human Differences: Multicultural Education for a Diverse America, 5th Edtion: Kent L. Koppelman

  17. The Struggle for Democracy, 2016 Presdential Election, 12th Edition: Edward S. Greenberg & Benjamin I. Page

  18. Customer Relationship Management : Concepts And Technologies, 3Rd Edition: Francis Buttle & S

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/textbooks6
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife left me because I couldn’t stop doing impressions of pasta

And now I’m cannelloni

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluestratmatt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
🚨︎ report
Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoussama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
🚨︎ report
Steve JOBS would have made a better President than Donald Trump

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Ingenuity4838
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
🚨︎ report
I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JhopkinsWA
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
🚨︎ report
So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
🚨︎ report
I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarf_spheal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
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No gains
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ridi86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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How eggs-traordinary
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rix27_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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A queen size statement.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flight-less
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?

A play on words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ah1887
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after Star Wars characters...

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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Geddit? No? Only me?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampy311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paulie_Felice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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E or ß?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amazekam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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Which actor drives the least?

Christopher Walken

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TR1771N
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rj104
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Pun intended.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharmaji1301
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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No spoilers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onfour
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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Great cropping skills
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elisioth4739
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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These aren't dad jokes...

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lance986
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
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