I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards

I'm sure that must have been a record

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/custardy_cream
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2021
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The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the side of the road ...

They charged her with littering!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fredwardofox
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2021
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You don't want to get on a tree's bad side.

It can get pretty shady.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2021
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I went to the geometry store because I was looking to buy a shape with 4 or less sides...

But I couldn’t find any! They were all gons!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yesnojjj
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2021
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How many sides does a circle have?

2.....inside & outside

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_Only_Have_One_Hand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2021
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If you need to find the longest side of a moose
πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2021
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Did I tell you guys about the side-hustle plan I came up with? I’m going to do personal training for the band that recorded β€˜Lola’ and β€˜You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...

I just have to work out a few Kinks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2021
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If you tilt a Q-tip on it's side, /r/Jokes/comments/mh26ew/…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TwerpOfThunder
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 31 2021
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Ordering KFC, and I ask for a chicken wing. Cashier asks, β€œok sir, and which side?”

I replied I had never thought about it before, but I suppose I’ll take the right side.

Cashier: β€œsir, I meant mashed potatoes, corn, or beans.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 335
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2021
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2 parts to a brain...The left side and a right side.

On the left side, there's nothing right.

On the right side, there's nothing left.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2021
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As a rule of thumb ALWAYS have a squid on your side when you're in a fight

they're well armed

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bronzeaardvark
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 05 2021
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Which side of a dog has the most hair/fur?

The outside

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SpecOpsAlpha
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2021
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My uncle was in a terrible accident, and lost the entire left side of his body.

He's all right, now.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
On which side does a tiger have the most stripes?

The outside

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PoolSharkPete
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2021
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What's the furriest side of a dog?

The outside

πŸ‘οΈŽ 82
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AusSpyder
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2021
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When geese fly in a V, why is one side of th V always longer than the other side?

There's more geese on that side.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/0cora86
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2021
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I ran out of gas on the side of the road. Along comes a swarm of bees.

I was confused, but they seemed friendly. I told them what was going on, and they said: open the gas cap. One by one, each bee flew into the tank, and to my astonishment the gas gage went from empty to full. The bees said: start the car. So, I did and it ran. I asked them: what did you put in the tank? Bee pee.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cerebolic-parabellum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2020
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When migrating birds fly in the shape of a V, do you know why one side is always longer than the other?

That side has more birds.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TaliskerLabradoodle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2021
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I was playing a zombie game last night, and sliced off the left side of a zombie

It scared my wife pretty bad.

I assured her he’s all right.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PapaBear1718
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2021
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How does a duck swim from one side of the pond to the other?

Very Quackly

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
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I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog shit on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one:

Deja poo.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/A_Scribbler
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2020
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My ADHD medicine comes in a case shaped like a 3-sided polygon where each side is the same size, and the pills are distributed uniformly.

It's an equal Adderall triangle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
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What did the police officer say when she caught a man peeing on the side of a building?

Urine big trouble mister!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TitanPhoebs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
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Written on the side of a hearse in front of a hair salon...

Will Curl Up And Dye For You

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shdchko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
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What do you call the side of a triangle in the savanna?

Hyppopotenus

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Red_Vader26
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2020
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So the other day I ordered some Kung Pao chicken, but I think it came with a side of pasta instead of rice

Orzo it seems

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thebobstu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2020
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Kenny Rodgers ended up in a wheelchair after an accident. While rolling down the side walk, he lost a wheel.

He sung: you picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DarkSideDweller
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
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Migratory birds can be fascinating. You often see them fly in "V" formation across the sky. On occasion you see that one side is longer than the other. It's a simple scientific explanation really.

There just happens to be more birds on that side.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mrscottib23
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
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germans:" i thought we were a team, why did you switch sides?" italians:"

Allied"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hitman07435
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
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I developed a successful chicken social network app to earn some money on the side.

I did it to make hens meet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yoav-bam
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2020
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Do you think rowers have a favorite side to row on?

Or is it an either oar situation?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/faux_real_yo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
which side of a bird has the most feathers?

the outside

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/procrastination_peep
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2020
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An beautiful woman orders a turkey sandwich at a deli, with pickles on the side. The guy behind the counter looks at her and says, "You like big pickles?" and winks. As he slides her a pastrami sandwich she looks at him, smiles, licks her lips and says

Wait, wrong sub.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 674
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/baconaboot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2020
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Just witnessed a tragic car accident where a man lost his entire left side...

He’s all right now

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dr_se7en_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a plan for a new side-hustle. I’m gonna do personal training for members of the band that recorded β€˜Lola’ and β€˜You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...

I just have to work out a few Kinks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
When geese are migrating they form a "V" shape, but do you know why one side is always longer than the other?

Because there are more geese on that side.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TempestWest
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2020
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When ducks fly in a V one side is always longer. Do you know the reason?

More ducks

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SimplisticAnswer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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When geese fly in a V formation, one side is always longer than the other. Do you know why that is?

There are more birds on that side.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SkinDeep69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2020
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Why is one side longer then the other when ducks fly in a V?

Because there’s more ducks on that side

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/evanpatrick2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.

I'm sure that must have been a record.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 453
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When ducks are flying south, they fly in a V formation. But one side is always longer. Do you know why?

There's more ducks on that side.

(As told by my father)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RMiller517
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Which side does a chicken have the most feathers on?

The outside.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cinnafury03
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report

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