You can hide but you can't run
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MKA33133
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
To the guy in a wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket...

...you can hide, but you can't run.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CuriousReader24
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
To the guy in the wheelchair participating in the DC insurrection dressed all in camouflage.

You can hide, but you can’t run!

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/screamtrumpet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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To the person who stole my running shoes and reflective vest...

You can run, but you can't hide!

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/citronellaspray
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide but you can't run.

(Haha I make myself laugh every time)

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, β€œConstipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said β€œNo, doc, it’s dis knee.”

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.

What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.

My friend told me, β€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, β€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. β€œTaken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

I’m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, I’m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide What’s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PraetorSolaris
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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I have one thing to say to the man in the wheel chair that stole my camouflage jacket

You can hide, but you can’t run.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rendezv0uz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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I’d just like to say something to the man dressed in camouflage and using crutches, who robbed my wallet earlier

You can hide, but you can’t run

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CdotBigz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket

You can hide, but you can't run!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHamMan9109
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket..

..you can hide but you can’t run.

πŸ‘︎ 267
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scoob-Snacc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket:

You can hide, but you can’t run.

πŸ‘︎ 346
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddit_reddit03
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
To the man in a wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide but you can’t run

πŸ‘︎ 278
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_oneshoe_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
To the man who stole my camo jacket

You can hide, but you can't run

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spinach_Stock
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
To the person in the wheelchair that stole my camo jacket.

You can hide, but you can't run.

πŸ‘︎ 239
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DinkyOreo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camo jacket

you can hide but you can't run

Edit: spelling

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camo jacket.

You can hide but you cant run

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LiliumRose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide, but you can’t run

πŸ‘︎ 167
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HBRmemes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket.

You can hide but you can’t run

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_McMuffins
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide, but you can't run!

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rslashhuman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide but you can’t run!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scooby_dyver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A man in a wheelchair stole my camo jacket.

You can hide but you can’t run.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slice29
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket

You can hide but you can't run

πŸ‘︎ 352
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zackatron07
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camoflage jacket...

You can hide but you can't run

πŸ‘︎ 280
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snowdaruma
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
To the disabled man who stole my camo jacket:

You can hide, but you can't run.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Multiple_Melons
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket

You can hide but you can't run.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/layostoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide but you can't run.

πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Xx_Layan_xX_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my backpack...

You can hide but you can't run.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jack_Forrest
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camo jacket.

You can hide, but you can't run

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vebom
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
To the man in a wheelchair who stole my jacket

You can hide, but you can't run

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nikklovesreddit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
To the man who stole my camouflage jacket in the wheelchair

You can hide but you can’t run

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBlueJelly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide but you can't run.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket.

You can hide but you can't run.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheel chair that stole my camouflage jacket

You can’t run but you can hide

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atumanov55
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket.

You can hide but you can’t run.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camo jacket.

You can hide, but you can't run.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/casualredditor0
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
To the man in the camouflage jacket who stole my wheelchair

You can hide but you can't run!

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Golden_Furnace
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket.....

You can hide but you can't run.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tangledtitty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Message to the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camo jacket

You can hide, but you can't run!

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leaf_Leavezz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket

You can hide, but you can't run

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nuttshaw_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
🚨︎ report
To the man that stole my camouflage jacket...

You can't run, but you can hide!

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
🚨︎ report
To the man in a wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide but you can’t run

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rnwptbwo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
To the man in camouflage on crutches who stole my wallet earlier:

You can hide, but you can't run.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drummerdanneh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket....

You can hide but you can't run!! 😈

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DonaldToperesu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide but you can't run.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DunkinDogNutz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report

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