When my dog wonders what happened to the ball
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I always wondered why my dog has to stop and sniff a ton of things for ages on our daily walks...

...and then it dawned on me she's just checking her peemail.

I suppose this morning's half-hearted squat to pee while moving was a reply-all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Batshit_Betty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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What do you get when you mix an insomniac, agnostic, and someone with dyslexia?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there's a dog

πŸ‘︎ 642
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fukurslf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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I used to know a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac.

He would be up all night wondering if there really was a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Just now while cooking at my house on labor day... My dog was wondering around my kitchen.

Dad: You should have name your dog whisky Me: Why??? Dad: Because he's a licker Mom: sighs and slowly shakes head

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πŸ‘€︎ u/burn23notice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2016
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I heard a story once about a train driver.

He was operating a late night train and fell asleep at the controls. He ended up failing to recognise a stop sign and as a result his train hit a person and killed them immediately. He was tried for manslaughter and sentenced to the electric chair. Just before being put in the chair, he was given the choice of final meal and chose a single banana, oddly. His time came and he was placed into the chair, the room vacated and then the switch was thrown.

But... Nothing. No sparks, no burning, nothing. They checked the machine and it was working fine, it just seemed not to harm him. The state law meant that, legally, his sentence had been carried out and he was free to go. He walked away a free man, and actually got another job as a train driver.

Sadly, almost exactly the same thing happened again. This time his negligence killed two kids playing around on the tracks when again he'd fallen asleep and failed to stop the train in time. Hauled before the courts again, he got exactly the same sentence - the electric chair. He was asked again for his final meal, chose two bananas this time, and his sentence was carried out again.

And yet again, he didn't die. In fact, he was entirely unharmed. The state law remained the same, so he was let out again, where - somehow - he got another job with another train company. I guess it was the only job he was trained for (pardon the pun). Anyway, this time he did much better and worked hard to stay awake during his late shifts. But sure enough, eventually he slipped back in to old habits and this time killed five people - a family trying to free their dog stuck in the tracks.

Once again he faced a jury, once again they found him guilty and a judge sentenced him to the electric chair. This time he asked for 5 bananas, but the guard was wiley - he has read about this man and how he always had bananas before his sentence was carried out, and so this time (with a grin, it's said) he brought the train driver 5 apples instead. The guilty man plead and begged for bananas, but the guard claimed it was an honest mistake but too late to change now.

The man was lead for a third time to the electric chair. His head was wetted, his arms strapped in, and the guard eyed him with something between wonder and fear. Finally the room was vacated and the switch thrown. Surely this time the machine would do its job? With the process finished, the guard ran back into the room, only to find the man still alive and looking entirely healthy. "I do

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/homelesspancake
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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A clown bets an old man $100 he can make him laugh. Man says "Sure, it won't happen"

Clown asks: "What do you call someone posing as a fake Italian chef? An im-pasta"

Man doesn't laugh

Clown asks: "What do you get when you cross a tiger and a bear? A tiger and a bear seeking revenge."

No response

Clown asks: "Which super hero asks the most questions? Wonder Woman"

Nothing

Clown asks: "Have you heard of the baseball team the Chicago Hot Dogs? They are the wurst"

Doesn't crack a smile

Clown asks: "Why was the alcoholic so annoying? He wined too much"

Clown starts to get nervous

Clown asks: "The disinterested hockey player got a penalty. What was it? Boarding"

Blank look

Clown asks: "What is a nun's favorite card game? Old Maid"

Yawn

Clown asks: "How do crustaceans celebrate birthdays? With crab cakes"

Annoyed

Clown asks: "What do you call a champion deer? A Win-doe"

grasping at straws

Finally Clown asks: "How do sheep sleep when they have nightmares? Baaaaadly"

He never laughs. Clown gives him his $100 and asks "Did any of my jokes make you laugh?"

Man says "No pun-in-ten-did"

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scoob1978
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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I once knew a dyslexic, agnostic, paranoid insomniac.

He'd lie awake at night wondering if there's a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordMeme42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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I owe my mom a much better mother's day gift for this one

So I hear my niece running around in our house and also a dog running around with her and was immediately confused wondering why she and a dog were just running up and down the hallway. Then I went to see what was happening and she was playing fetch with the dog. So I asked my mom, "then why was she running? Is she simply so stupid that she throws a thing and tries to fetch it herself because for a second there she forgot whether she was the dog or the person?" To which my mom replied, "it wouldn't be farfetched. ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°) " ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/niji-ouji
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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Johnny gets off the bus on the way home from school

On his walk home he sees a dog in he middle of the road. He wonders what it’s doing laying there when all of a sudden a car comes by and hits the dog. It flies through the air and after a minute, gets up and runs into the woods. Johnny can’t believe what he just saw and rushes home to tell his mom. He goes inside breathing hard form running and says β€œYou’re not going to believe what I just saw”

β€œWhat happened Johnny” says his mom

β€œThis car just hit this dog right in the ass and it flew through the air. He barely got up and limped into the woods”

The mom then says β€œnow little Johnny cmon lets be a little more respectfully let’s not use those words. Let’s say rectum instead”

Johnny then replies

β€œWrecked him!? That car damn near killed him!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LockinKey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Puns for Educated Minds
  1. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

  3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

  5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

  6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

  7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

  8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

  9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

  10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

  11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

  12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.

  13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

  14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.

  15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

  16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

  17. A backward poet writes inverse.

  18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

  19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

  20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

  21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

  22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!

  23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

  24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.

  25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

  26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreshFocusPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2015
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My uncle was a dyslexic agnostic insomniac.

He used to lay awake at nights wondering if there really was a dog.

(I'm sure most of you have probably heard this one before, but I just remembered it and hopefully it's new to someone)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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Not necessarily a dad joke, but a good retiree joke/brief story just using that wit.

A Retiree's Last Trip to Sam's Club

Yesterday I was at Sam's Club, buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen , the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two handfuls every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care,because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Sam's Club won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thefluffydinosaur
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2013
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I DadJoked my wife in the car...

We were taking the back roads instead of the highway because the schedule wasn't tight and it was a nice day

We had stopped in a little town and got ice cream as a treat. I was getting a little silly doing voices and accents when we passed a dog kennel business. My wife read the sign:

"Jones' Dog Kennels - Boarding and Breeding"...
She said: "Hmmm... Wonder what they breed"

I piped up in my best hillbilly voice: "Well, that depends on what we're boarding this week."

She spit ice cream all over the windshield and dash.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2014
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Dad popped this one the other day

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He used to lay awake at night and wonder if there really was a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jellymuncher
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2014
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My dad's favorite jokes from his opa (it runs in the family, evidently)
  1. All good things must come to an end, except for a hot dog, it has two.

  2. (While watching tv) I always wondered why they never invented smellovision... (although sadly that is now a "thing" because of that stupid Honey Boo Boo scratch'n'sniff...siiiigh)

  3. (When Opa had heart-attack symptoms and was getting a sonogram) So is it a boy or a girl? (apparently the humor was lost on the nurse)

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LuneMoth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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My friend's dad's Facebook posts are golden

*Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.

*Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

*Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

*What do you call a cow who gives no milk? ...A milk dud (or an udder failure)

*There was a terrible fight reported in our local shopping center. It just so happened that a news reporter from one of our local stations was there to record the entire episode. It was an altercation between a prominent dentist and a manicurist. Their disagreement escalated to the point that they wound up fighting each other tooth and nail.

*The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached.

*I recently saw a theatrical performance on puns... turned out, it was just a play on words!

*Have you ever tried watching a magician with an anger management problem? Every time he gets mad, he pulls his hare out!

*If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable? -Just wondering

*Harvard has long been known for its championship Rowing team – until this year. They had their first ever indecisive rower... he couldn’t choose either oar.

*I found an excellent seamstress who is so enthusiastic about her work that she's happy to make a pair of pants for you …or at least sew its seams.

*No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

*I bought a new weed whacker yesterday & it is cutting-hedge technology!

*Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

*I read about a recent fire at the circus. The heat was in tents.

*I was saddened to hear that our local bakery was going out of business. They said they had decided to stop making donuts after they got tired of the hole thing.

*I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

*Why do seagulls fly over the sea? …Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!!

*I wonder if their manure spreader is the only equipment John Deere won't stand behind.

*I saw a very emotional wedding recently... even the cake was in tiers!

*I'm glad I'm not a cross-eyed teacher... otherwise I'd find it too difficult to control my pupils!

*What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window? ...Snow and Tell

*I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

*The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

*What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? …Owlgebra

*What

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gwildcat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
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My witty father got me with this long-con

One morning while sitting down for breakfast, my Dad looks up, points at my waist and exclaims, "What are those two things coming out of your butt?!" My 6 yr. old self wheels around like a dog chasing it's tail looking for said objects. nothing. I ask what they were and he says he's not sure, but that I will be fine. After school he get's home from work. Me: "Dad, do you those things coming out of my butt still?" Dad: "Yup" Repeat action and conversation from the morning again. And repeat again then next day, and the next ... 7 days in total I'm getting pissed my Dad see's them all the time but my Mom and older Sister don't. I surely don't see two things coming out of my butt. I'm starting to freak out and cry. Why can I not see these two things coming out of my butt, I'm sobbing, blubbering gibberish and spittle running down my chin to my shirt. I'm gasping for air and crying and just about to blow a gasket (I'm 6 mind you ...) my mom finally had enough, "Dammit Craig ... TELL HIM NOW!!" I get all calmed down and start getting excited, I'm going to find out! he sits me down and tells me this ... "I have told you all week that you had two things coming out of your butt?" That's why I'm losing my shit, Dad "Well, I was talking about your legs. You're legs come out of your butt and you have two of them." all the while looking me straight in the eyes, he starts a famously wonderful shit-grin. Mom loses it again, throws her arms up in utter frustration/disappointment/disbelief. Sister virtually pissing herself in laughter. My dad gets up, smiling that smile, he walks away with a pat on the head. "Pay better attention next time."

groan.

TLDR: I was 6, told I have 2 things coming out of my butt for a week. finally told that they where my legs. facepalm and groaner.

edit: - waiting for the right moment to pull this one on my 5 and 7 yr old ...

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acollins144
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2013
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Doctor finally diagnosed me as dyslexic with insomnia. And considering I'm agnostic...

...that finally explains me laying awake wondering if there really is a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoundBottomBee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 225
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dane-Direct
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic with insomnia?

He was up all night wondering whether or not there was a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KaamosMajere
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic person ?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

He stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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I used to know a dyslexic agnostic insomniac

. He would be up all night wondering if there really was a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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Have you heard about the dislexic agnostic insomniac?

He lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReyNada
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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What does the dyslexic,agnostic insomniac do ?

Stay up all night wondering if there's a dog

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notonweed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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What happens when you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jolieanastasia
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2017
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"Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog."

An oldie but still good.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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What happens to someone who is agnostic, an insomniac, and dyslexic?

They lay awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nmlasa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do on his free time?

He stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

He stayed up all night wondering if dog exists.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drunkinalaska
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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What do you get when you combine an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socratio
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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What do you get when you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?

Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SneepSnorping
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

He kept himself awake at night wondering if there was a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geogdog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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What does a dyslexic, agnostic kid with insomnia do?

He lies awake at night wondering if there really is a dog!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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A friend of mine is an agnostic insomniac with dyslexia.

He lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmTommyZombie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-PrincessCadence-
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2018
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What did the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do?

He lay awake all night wondering if there was a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Giantsolid44
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2017
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What do agnostic dyslexic insomniacs do?

They stay up at night wondering if there really is a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/that_JP
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
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Did you hear about the Dyslexic, Agnostic Insomniac?

He stayed up all night wondering if his Dog was real.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phredex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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What happens when you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic?

A person that stays up all night wondering if there’s a dog

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/etherealredditor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2017
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Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic with insomnia?

He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArrowThornUK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2016
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What do you get if you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Somebody who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MeowMixSong
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2015
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