I just discovered these exist and I have so many questions
How do they not gag uncontrollably when getting it done, taking the piercing out, or replacing it? What do they do of their body rejects it? How do they get it to stop moving long enough to do it? Does it effect their speech in any way?
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
I’m so stupid. A huge ass fucking moron. None of this bullshit would’ve even happened if it weren’t for my big fat butterfingers.
Sorry for all the cursing, but I tend to do that when I’m panicking, and considering I just killed and ate my boyfriend… a bitch is freaking the fuck out.
You’re probably going to want some context for that last statement.
I had just gotten home from by job soul-crushing office job and needed to go through some of my emails before being able to actually relax. I was excited because Justin, my now dead and partially eaten boyfriend, was coming over to hangout.
I Went through all the important work emails first and then switched to my personal email account and decided to be proactive and declutter all the junk mail. Typically, for entertainment purposes, I’ll read the headline of the email and then delete it. You won’t believe all of the scam emails I go through.
Free car click now! Delete.
You’ve won $10,000 click here to collect. DeletE.
50% Discount! Hurry and buy now before it’s too late! Delete.
This one really stood out to me. No capitals, all lowercase, and no punctuation. It really stood out against all the other flashy titles.
mystery box for reina mccloud
I hovered my mouse over the little trash can icon in the right corner of the email pop up, my pointer finger hovering over the button, and then it hit me. Why was my name in the title? I moved the mouse and had the little cursor trace under the emails heading as I re-read the title over again.
A smooth chill crept up my spine and I immediately got red flags. This was even more reAson to delete the fucking email. I moved the cursor back over to the trash icon -but as I was about to press down- my finger suddenly slipped and it caused the mouse to lurch to the the left. A click resounded through the room and instead of deleting the email, it was opened.
‘have fun’ Was all the email said. Then the doorbell to my house rang and I jumped. Turning in my office chair, my eyes glanced up and down suspiciously on the door. This was how horror movies start.
I got up from and walked to the door calmly and looked out the peephole. My body erupted in relief as it was just Justin.
I opened the door and gave him a big smile. He was holding a small cardboard box. I drunk in his luminous appearance as he made his way into my humble abode. He was wearing a brown leather jacket that had beige fur in the inside and showed on the collar, he had a plain white T-shirt
... keep reading on reddit ➡Pilot on me!!
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
