Thirteen Anniversaries Puns

I paid for and tuned into the live stream of that concert last year... Is there anywhere to rewatch it? .. I'd buy it again if I have to = p

I think we are building ample content here that can be used as content for the thirteen hour long thirteen year anniversary live podcast.

See you there.

So anyone who's been playing Mabi for the past week or so knows about the 13th anniversary going on in Festia. I've done all the quests I can do so far, and am just shy of 200 13th anniversary coins. It looks like there's some prizes you can buy from Thirteen (pouches, anniversary boxes, etc.). I'm curious what would be the most worth it to get? There's a dragon pet/mount that sells for 180, but there's also a Formal Ribbon Outfit Box that sells for 200.

Edit: As this post contains insider information, of sorts, it and the accompanying links are SPOILERS EVERYTHING. You have been warned.

Greetings crows,

This week marks a momentous occasion in our fandom: the 20th anniversary of the publishing of A Game of Thrones, the first book in the Song of Ice and Fire trilogy series. Accounts differ as to the specific day it was published, with the Wykipaedia in Old Town recording August 6, 1996, and our own Maester Martin recalling August 1, 1996. As such, we have decided to make this a week-long celebration.

###The Pitch

Today, let's dig up a find from February 2015. Harper Collins UK tweeted images of the pitch letter George R. R. Martin sent to them back in 1993, promising "the first volume in what I see as an epic trilogy with the overall title, A Song of Ice and Fire." Watchers on the Wall has the images here.

The plot seems wildly different from the novel which was eventually published three years later. However, the last paragraph was redacted, presumably to avoid revealing future details that are still relevant to our version of the story. Ever one for a challenge, the asoiaf communities got to work deciphering the mystery text. You can see /r/asoiaf's efforts here (with a big thanks again to /u/PopMelon for curating those threads).

So, crows, let's have a chat about what was, what is, and what could have been.

Cheers,
The Old Mods and the New

“You a nurse?”

I glance up from my phone and look at the young man before me, dressed in a rumpled blue Kroger apron and khakis. He’s maybe seventeen, possibly a little older. It’s hard to tell these days with everybody wearing a mask. We’re left to judge those around us based on their eyes and build alone. The enthusiastic, carefree manner with which he’d been jabbering at the bagger next to him before he turned his attention to me gives him away far more than what I could glean from his appearance.

“I am,” I answer. I’m coming straight from work, still dressed in my navy blue jumpsuit and the classic black departmentally-approved jacket that has my name and hospital logo emblazoned on the chest. I’m hungry, exhausted, and sore. I just spent thirteen hours getting my ass kicked in full PPE. There’s at least a stage two pressure ulcer behind my ears that stings perpetually, serving as a constant reminder of the year we’re living through. On a normal day, I’d probably enjoy this little social back and forth. On a normal day, I’d love meaningless pleasantries like chit-chatting about my job. But right now, I’m just looking to score some stale fried chicken from the freshly closed hotline before I sink wordlessly into a scalding bath with a glass of wine.

His eyes light up. I can almost sense it coming.

“What’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen?”

I might feel offended if there was anything left in me capable of feeling. It’s a rude enough question to ask in its own right, but it’s especially awful timing during 2020. My colleagues and I are in the middle of a war. Or maybe it’s a genocide. Somedays it feels like the unending tide of patients will never stop, mounting higher and higher until the collective crush of humanity finally stresses us to our breaking points. Mothers, fathers, grandparents, uncles, daughters. They fill our beds up regardless of whoever they are to whoever brought them in. And yet the rest of the world keeps on spinning merrily along, intentionally oblivious. Throwing birthday parties, traveling to the beach, celebrating 12th anniversaries over steaks and bloomin’ onions at Outback.

What actually is the worst thing I’ve ever seen, I wonder? Despite the numerous times I’ve fielded this query, I’ve never truly stopped to think about it before. A number of situations spring to mind immediately, but they’re all oddly blurry through the lens of distant recollection. I can’t picture faces. I can’t remember names. Truth is, this young

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>When LeBron James hit a long, go-ahead three pointer with a minute left in a play-in game versus the Warriors last May, dozens of concession workers at the Chase Center in San Francisco lost their health care for a month. That’s because, according to the union chief who represents them, concession workers at the Chase Center only receive health care through their jobs if they work ten games a month.

>The Warriors played six scheduled regular season home games in May plus a home play-in game versus the Grizzlies to bring the total to seven. Had the Warriors beaten the Lakers they would have been guaranteed at least three more home playoff games in May.

>“LeBron hitting a three shouldn’t cost people their health coverage,” said Anand Singh, president of UNITE HERE local 2, the union that represents 930 concession workers at Chase Center and Oracle Park, where the Giants play. “It’s absolutely ridiculous to take away workers’ health care in a pandemic over something that’s no fault of their own. That’s one of the reasons we have chosen to fight.”

 

>Like most professional sports teams in the United States, both the Warriors and the Giants use a subcontractor to handle food preparation and sales at their home games. In this case, concession workers at Warriors and Giants games work for a company called Bon Appetite.

>Last Saturday, 96.7% of concession workers at Oracle Park voted to strike for a number of reasons. Workers I spoke to cited the fact that they’re scared of losing health care over scheduling issues, frustrated they haven’t been given hazard pay during the Covid-19 pandemic, and upset that the Giants are allowing fans to order food from them without wearing masks. “There is signage up but there is no enforcement,” Singh said. (I attended last Saturday and Sunday’s games and found this to be accurate).

>In a statement to The Long Game, a team official said, “The Giants make the health and safety of everyone working and visiting Oracle Park a top priority. We operate our venue in compliance with local and state health requirements.” (The Warriors had not yet returned a request for comment at press time).

>While they continue to work during a pandemic, concession workers are asking for an additional three dollars an hour in hazard pay. They haven’t yet

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

I put together a playlist for my brother, with some "liner notes" to go along with it. QOTSA is one of my favourite bands, so I thought you guys might like it too.

The focus was on (mostly) music that has been put out in the past 18 months or so (since I last sent him a playlist), but that isn't a hard and fast rule. There's a lot of garage/psych rock on there.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7hKGaa2T6dymyJjl5mjUtF?si=9fce2fcc374548f2

Here's the notes for each song (wall of text follows, but you might find it useful if you listen to the playlist), and most have a relevant YouTube link for those without spotify:

First up, Ty Segall, Feel Good from the amazing "Harmonizer" album. Full of fuzzed out heavy synth rock, but this track is actually written and performed by his wife Denee, with a very Brit/Euro 80's robot sound, which appears after a high energy burst of guitar. I can't pull the "damn this sounds like <so and so>" influence out of the recesses of my brain, but it's a great homage to that sound. There's a great video with the two of them and an old Ford Fairlane station wagon: https://youtu.be/yI24-fxsigo

Sliding in next with a different take on the same style is Osees (formerly known as Thee Osees, The Osees, The OCs) with "If I Had My Way", written about these COVID times. They've been making a ton of music since the late 90s, and are pillars of the LA scene. I was supposed to see them just before COVID but a business trip got in the way. They are an amazing live act, from what I hear, so as soon as COVID allows I'll try and get out to a show. I love the guitar line that starts this beast out, and the pair of drummers adds a super loose groove (that's actually incredibly synchronized when you watch them live) driving it along. You can see them rehearsing it for their live performances here: https://youtu.be/u73AGFGipA8?t=160

Keeping with the LA theme, I'm dipping back a few years (my excuse is that my son bought me the vinyl this year) to Wand, friends with Ty Segall. High Rise sounds like a fun jam they threw together in the studio and then overlaid it with samples of talking/crowds, pulsed to a beat. When they kick back in after a short quiet stretch, someone does a "woo, woo" during the soaring guitar line that just makes me laugh. Two minutes of fun that sounds like they had a great time making it. Reminds me a bit of "The Camera Eye" from Moving Pictures, and they clearly have Radiohead on the mind as well. They are fun to

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

[Chapter 1] ; [Previous Chapter] ; [Wiki + Discord]

A/N: A happy almost-half-anniversary to this story. More in the comments. For now, I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 28

Shida stood frozen in place. She hadn’t wanted to admit it to herself, but the sudden confrontation with her long-time superior wasn’t easy for her. Even if she didn’t doubt everything James had told her, she couldn’t quite get herself to believe that the Captain had anything to do with their current situation. Although, she had to admit it to herself that she wouldn’t give anyone else that kind of leeway.

The Captain stood patiently, gently smiling at nothing as he waited for her answer.

His company, who had to be Councilman Cashelngas, however, seemed to be a lot more aflutter, looking around the group excitedly, before his face sank into a more disappointed expression once he apparently realized that he wasn’t going to find whatever his eyes were searching for.

He once more scanned the faces of the people present, unsurely looking at each of them one after the other before finally settling on Shida. He reached his long neck down, leaning his large face close to hers as he asked,

“Where is James? Is he not with you?”

The disillusionment in his voice was palpable.

With effort, Shida pried her eyes away from the Captain and looked back at the reptile spitefully.

Trying to make it sound like the distaste in her voice was directed at James instead of the old man, she answered,

“You’re asking the wrong girl. He just said he’d be away for a while and hasn’t gotten back to me since.”

The Captain’s lips curled in surprise as he heard that, however the Councilman seemingly became even more disappointed, while also completely ignoring the implications she tried to carry with it.

However, Shida was preoccupied by lifting a hand towards Curi, indicating for them to keep their big, non-existent mouth shut, as she already knew they were getting ready to contradict her on her lie.

“Is this a bad time?” Captain Uton carefully asked, lifting one of his big hands as if he wanted to reach for her but stopping midair. “You two aren’t having…troubles, are you?”

Okay good, he was buying it. At least she could have James’ back while he did what he