And then you will all be sorry.
How do you drive this thing ?
I am #1 in the #2 business.
Yep, that's original.
I think it is fibromyalgae.
2:
..or am I just a terrible Teacher ?
Have lofty dreams?
Maybe a No More Tears version called Daredevil? I don’t know. A sleeping mask called the Dark Night? Deadpoop toilet paper? I’m drowning here, man.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?” I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
It's just a moment of reflection.
Elijah Wood
I think it'll be called The Trying Times.
Ban-ff.
Where the fuck is my roof ?
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
I just don't think the kids should be given homework.
Because then it would be cannibalism.
Triple Eh
But it Dew
The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.
Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.
The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:
"What's sarong with that?"
I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).
His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.
--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)
--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.
"Sure, pa."
“It’s aspirational “ she said.
Ooooof...
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by René Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
My wife says it will look too boring, but I think it will be egg siding.
I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
is it a 34 degree murder in the US?
Sometimes I think it is a big moose steak.
Eh eh
Eh positive
I hope no-one is behind us
It was very well clamoflaged
One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
One says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"
One turns to the other and says, "How do you drive this thing?"
How do you drive this thing?
One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
“Do you know how to drive this thing?”
One turns to the other and says, "I'll drive this thing if you man the gun."
One says to the other. How do we drive this thing
How the heck do we drive this thing?
One looks at the other and says: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
But it dew
One asks the other, you know how to drive this thing?
One says to the other "do you know how to fire the big gun?"
But it dew.
