Once upon a time a broken sword told me it was the best weapon in the world...

And he had a point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asagao90
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
My son might not be the best roofer in the world

But he is up there

πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrainSpy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I think the best web designers in the world might be

Spiders.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nik_5252
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the best Christmas present in the world?

A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/90eight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
If you asked me how I would describe the best cheese in the world....

I'd say it's legend-dairy.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/virtual_no_body
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
5 years ago today I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend, and the most beautiful woman in the world to marry me.

All 3 said No!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chandan_2294
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do the best looking vampires in the world live?

At Tensylvania.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_flexy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the world's best, but un-tidiest, football player?

Messi

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Before I tucked my son into bed, I told him how proud I am of him, and that he is the second best son in the world.

Him: second best?

Me: yeah, I'm still the best son. But you're doing great, too.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Litpunk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I am the world's best farter

Oh no I meant father

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/11diddles
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The bible is one of the best-selling books in the world.

You could say it's very prophetable.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alliedcola
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I’d make an argument for Swiss cheese being the best in the whole world

I’d make an argument for Swiss cheese being the best in the whole world, but it would probably be full of holes

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decoolegastdotzip
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear? There’s going to be a movie about the best shoes in the world!

It’s going to be a feeture film!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nekronous
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that rabbits make the best beer in the world?

It's all in the hops!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamingDemon23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the best color in the entire world?

Hy-purple-y!

Made up by my 7-year old daughter. So proud

Edit: should have spelled it hy-purple-e

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beetlebath
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the best armed country in the world?

Armenia

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the best milk in the world?

Legendairy

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostOfLostTime
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world,

but it’s definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/udrys
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm the best Assistant DJ in the entire world....

In fact, I hold the record!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been looking at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and although I’m not sure whether it’s the best in the world...

...It’s definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
To everyone who wished a Happy Father’s Day to β€œthe best dad in the world...”

I’m very flattered, but make sure you wish your own dad a happy Father’s Day too.

πŸ‘︎ 519
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SyckTycket
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m so poor, I can’t go see the world. The best that I can do...

...is visiting Amazon while on Safari.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the world best milk?

Well, it’s pretty legen-dairy.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakebake800
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My Uncle is one of the best farmers in the world

because he's always out standing in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayZinnet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Twenty years ago, I married my best friend in the whole world.

If my wife ever finds out, she’ll kill me!

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
It must suck having the world's best clown as your dad

You would have such big shoes to fil

πŸ‘︎ 234
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πŸ‘€︎ u/socalstokie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2016
🚨︎ report
Friend of mine says he's created the best yoga move in the world.

Quite a stretch if you ask me.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BreakBye
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Turqoise is the best color in the world

It's cyantifically proven

It blue my mind

I'm quite purplexed

I red it on the internet

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGamerBoy015
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Which continent is home to the world’s best climbers?

Eu-rope.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I had the world’s best showerthought but it got washed down the drain. Now it’s just a pipe dream.
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SettingsData
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
🚨︎ report
I’m the second best fighter in the world.

I’ve come second in every fight I’ve ever been in.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aDamnedCanadian
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I visited the world's best curry restaurant

It was second to naan.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StephenHunterUK
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What’s the best part about sleeping at the end of the world as we know it?

R.E.M.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedoctor107653
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I just potty trained my son and he's already the best pooper in the world.

He's #1 at #2.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goconrad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2014
🚨︎ report
"What's the best smell in the world?"

Me: Dad, do you know what the best smell in the world is? Dad: what? Me: the smell of a dollar. Dad: do you know what smells even better? Me: what? Dad: two dollars.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2014
🚨︎ report
I don't have the best ceiling in the world

But it's up there.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Ten years ago today, I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend, and the most beautiful woman in the world to marry me.

All three said no.

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the best Christmas present in the world?

A broken drum. You just can't beat it.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daksa67
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve just been looking at our ceiling, kids, and while I wouldn’t say it’s the best in the world…

It’s definitely up there…

πŸ‘︎ 375
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Turquoise is the best color in the world..

It’s been cyantifically proven

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimHP
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
🚨︎ report

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