The other day I asked my dad why he chose window cleaning as a profession
He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing
My wife got mad at me when I spilled wine on the window
Watching my kid throw my brand new phone out the window is the last thing I wanted to see today...
I looked out of the window and my dad was slumped over the lawnmower
crying his eyes out. I said to my mum "what's up with him?"
She said "he's just going through a rough patch".
My donkey keeps eating the glass out of my window.
It’s a real pane in the ass.
Why did the old man throw his clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!
Now that I’m officially a dad I have my first good joke. Me and my wife are driving down the road and a bug splats the window.
I turn to her and say “I bet he don’t have the guts to do that again”
Edit: holy shit y’all this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy
Was driving by the prison the other night when I saw a midget climbing down from a window.
I said to myself, that’s a little condescending
A viking named Rudolph The Red was looking out his window one day
"Its going to rain soon" he said to his wife.
"How could you possibly know that?" She asked.
He simply replied,
"Because Rudolph The Red knows rain, dear."
Why don't people like replacing the glass in windows?
Climbing through my window on the first floor was easy. But if it was the second floor,
That'd be a different story all together.
When the local carpenter was asked what it was like when he fell through a window?
He said,” All I felt was pane.”
Did you hear about the guy who was stealing people's window panes?
Apparently it was panes taking work.
When French people make bread, they throw the dough at the window to see if it's ready to bake
I guess that's why they call it window pain.
What did the Apple OS say to the Windows OS when it wanted to merge?
I was going to cover the windows of our new house with curtains, but my wife came in and tossed vertical blinds at me...
Dunno why the she had to throw shade on my pursuit...
Why did the window inspector quit his job?
Why are all the windows screaming?
Because they are in panes.
What happened to the men who smashed all the windows in their office building..
They're now facing a glass action lawsuit.
The new Windows update deleted Microsoft Edge
We could say it's a cutting edge techology.
Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?
He wanted to see a butter-fly!
One night I got pulled over. The cop walked up to my window and said “do you have a police record, sir?” I said:
I was walking past a shop, and there was a classic bomb in the window Beside it was a sign that read "$1, irreplaceable fuse"
I said to myself "That's an offer I can't refuse"
My wife got mad at me when I opened the window and yelled "Nice rack!"....
... But that buck must have been a 6 pointer!
Since it started raining my wife just stares sadly through the stupid window …
If it gets any worse, I guess I’ll have to let her in.
A salesman said his windows were unbreakable, so I punched one. That hurt, but not nearly as much as the window falling off the display and landing on my head. Unfortunately I can't sue...
...they were advertised as double-pain windows after all.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
What did the glass say to the window?
I once saw an Egyptian pharaoh honk his horn and put his bum cheeks up to the window of his vehicle.
It was a toot and car moon.
The true support that Windows needed...
Why did dad get angry when the window was broken?
Because it was a pane to replace.
What's that thing on the roof? Just a cupola windows.
Bird flew into the window today. No fowl play suspected as of now.
Why did the man refuse to jump out the window?
He didn't want to go through any pane.
They delivered materials for our new roof today. I looked out the window, confused. Said to my son, “huh, that’s weird. There are several pallets out there. He asked why that’s weird.
I was just expecting a shingle pallet
We should call Ctrl + Shift + Escape shortcut on windows the "Karen shortcut"
Cause it lets you speak to Task Manager
Why did the news anchor get his windows tinted?
To prevent others from Seein’ In.
In the future it will be possible to incubate humans in artificial uteri. If you want yours in the one by the window, it will be more expensive.
After all, it always costs more for a womb with a view.
Holmes and Watson are creeping stealthy along the Street, searching for clues, when Holmes suddenly spots a Bakery shop window and scans it with his magnifying glass. Watson perplexed, says to Sherlock " What are you looking for exactly ? " ...Holmes replies...
" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "
I tried to steal a window but the guilt was overwhelming.
I could not take the pane.
My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...
Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall"
When the snow came, all my little brother did was look through the window
If it got any worse, I would have had to let him in
A viking by the name of Rudolph the Red was sitting in his home, when he looked out the window.
He told his wife that it was going to rain soon. His wife, never hearing her husband predict the weather before asks, "How Rudolph, how do you know its going to rain soon?"
"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
A Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said
“It looks like it’s going to rain” his wife said how do you know?
He replied “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear....
The other day I asked my Dad why he took up window cleaning as a profession
He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said "It's going to rain". His wife asked "how do you know?"
"Because rudolph the red knows rain, dear"
Why did the window inspector quit his job?
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