I walked up to the cashier with my new waistcoat, jacket and trousers.

He said, "That will be Β£725."

"What!" I replied, staggering back. "Do you intend to pocket the remaining Β£724.97?"

The cashier was baffled. "I don't understand, sir."

"The assistant over there told me it was a 3p suit," I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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Party

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, "Going to a party?"

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln." observed the barkeep.

"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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Hopalong Happychopper walks into the saloon and the bartender says, "Howdy stranger, ain't seen you in these parts, so you must be here to watch the hanging!" Hopalong looks the bartender menacingly in the eyes and replies, "Nope, but seeing we're talking, who are you hanging?"

The bartender responds, "Well, ain't you heard cowboy, we gonna string up Brown Paper Rattler mighty high, even the angels are gonna hear his neck break!"

Hopalong asks, "Why they call him Brown Paper Rattler?"

The bartender chuckles, "Why, old Rattler wears a brown paper Stetson, a brown paper waistcoat and even right down to brown paper socks."

Puzzled, Hopalong then asks, "So why you hanging him?"

...and the bartender replies, "For rustling."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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