The Triumph Puns

...poor little guy, covered in Paris Sites.

A little umph.

So my pops is in the hospital pretty often lately, but he seems to still have a sense of humor about it. While I was eating dinner with him, he told me a story of his triumph earlier.

A nurse walks into his room, and tells him she's going to take his vitals.

He looks her straight in the eye and says, "Sure, as long as you give them back when you're done with them."

I look over at him and sigh the longest sigh I have all day, haha.

My wife was face timing her parents with the toddler and asked me for a "little sprite to drink".

Not wanting to pass up the opportunity, I filled a demitasse cup and proceeded to hand it to her. Walking away with my subtle triumph I hear my mother in law say "I don't think that's what she asked for," and my father in law telling her it probably was a little sprite.

The rest of my wife's conversation had more mouthed "vacuums" (I presume) then normal.

Dad and I are walking down the street, a Datsun was parked behind a Celica. Approaching it when...

Dad: Look at that silly car...

Me (unappreciative): Datsun an old joke dad...[smirk growing]

Triumph

Me, talking to my gang of teenage kids about their day. I asked my oldest son what he was working for the upcoming science olympiad. My son: "We're working on a pendulum." Me: "Must be a lot of back and forth." ACTUAL LAUGHTER! After we settled back down, my son said, "We're also working on objects." I said "Objects?" puzzled. "No Dad! Optics!" "Oh! Optics.....I see. (big grin)" Laughter again! TRIUMPH!