I went to the zoo yesterday and I saw a piece of toast in a cage.

When I asked the keeper why, he said, "It was bread in captivity!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/insideout97
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I was disappointed in the synonym toast,

because it was just warm bread.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Zuul asks Peter Venkman if he wants to wreck up a city and toast marshmallows in the flames.

Venkman says, "Nah, I'm not a big marshmallow guy."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theknight618
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Some people like in Toad in the Hole, but I like my eggs a toast boat.

Unfortunately, it can only be bought in a bay kery.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: I lost a piece of toast at the zoo.

My friend: so it’s bread in captivity?

Me: crying no it landed on the sidewalk.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
"I'd like to have a toast" said the father-in-law at his daughters wedding

"Add some jam on it," he continued

(Smh this wasn't appreciated enough at r/jokes)

πŸ‘︎ 974
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/QueenKyoko
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to know a guy who was all about getting his waffle in the morning. That's all he'd talk about! He'd even take people's toast out of the toaster and put in his waffles.

He's such an Eggo-maniac

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The sequel to Ocarina of Toast
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Monctonian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
The person who invented toast

"Cook it again"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BuddyGlass0506
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I yelled at the waitress for burning my toast. I told her I will not stand for it!

I guess you could say I'm black toast intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
At breakfast, my wife: Honey, you forgot the French toast.

Me: Oops. Sorry. * raising glass* VIVE LA FRANCE!

πŸ‘︎ 191
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the piece of toast say to her kid when it was time to sleep?

It’s breadtime.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XxStupidBusxX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I took my kids to the zoo today and we noticed a slice of toast in one of the enclosures...

I asked the keeper, β€œHow did that toast get into the cage?”

She replied, β€œIt was bread in captivity."

πŸ‘︎ 108
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the opposite of cinnamon toast crunch?

Antonym toast crunch

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dark_Devin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2017
🚨︎ report
Reviews say the toast it makes is always on the dark side
πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mjbehrendt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2015
🚨︎ report
We just got a new toaster oven. "The inaugural toast."
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alanjtory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2013
🚨︎ report
Looks like the engine is toast
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnycanreddit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2017
🚨︎ report
My uncle owned a bread factory then it burned to the ground, it was toast
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahdjhbdl
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Eating toast at a restaurant when I realize all the crumbs on my lap.

My friend: Well you've always been a crumby person.

πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/audrey_plaza
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2015
🚨︎ report
I like my toast on the dark side. imgur.com/qn2qXAj
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bisexual_Annie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2014
🚨︎ report
Father of the Bride Toast this weekend

"Let me give you some advice for your new marriage. First, decide who will do the dishes. Because if you don't, your marriage will result in many dish-appointments."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GTA_Stuff
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo today and saw a piece of toast in a cage? The zoo keeper told me...

That it's bread in captivity.

Sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkBlueMullet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Went to the zoo with my dad yesterday and saw a piece of toast in the monkey habitat.

He told me it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/764seca
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
At the zoo I noticed a slice of toast in one of the enclosures.

I asked the keeper, 'How did that toast get into the cage?'

'It was bread in captivity' she replied.

πŸ‘︎ 117
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lukepeterwatson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.