Why does an ambulance have two seats up front? 🚑 For the Pair Of Medics
My grandfather died because the medics mistakenly thought he had Type A blood.
As the newest medic on my shift, my boss told me it was my responsibility to watch the office.
I’m currently on season 6, and still have no idea what this has to do with being a medic.
How did the combat medic get hired at SeaWorld?
He told them he was a marine biologist
If i break my arm in a dream and go to the medic, what does the medic put in my arm?
Why did the Mexican take anti anxiety medication
Ah yes medical pun (putting the actual joke in the title would kinda ruin it all ngl)
I remember when Viagra was the only hard-on medication...
Nowadays there seems to be a lot of stiff competition.
I got a fake medical ID made to get the COVID vaccine, but I was rejected
A doctor is giving medical treatment when a nurse comes in saying that they need the doctor in another room. The nurse told the guy getting medical treatment to wait.
Did you guys hear about the deli at the medical research clinic?
I guess they successfully cured cancer.
Inmates at HMP Manchester are refusing to eat the Moroccan spiced chicken dish they're given every Friday, claiming it is being used to secretly medicate them with aggression-suppressants hidden in the sauce.
That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.
I just learned the medical name for Viagra
Why are orthodontists the most divine of all medical practitioners?
Cuz they're trancen-dental.
What do you call medical professionals who don't feed their patients after an overnight stay in the hospital?
Doctors without boarders.
So my wife is getting some medical tests done (we’re expecting our second child) and had to bring home a urine sample cup to fill up and bring back to the clinic the next day.
She asks me to bring it drop it off at the lab for her and I ask, “where do I drop it off?”
She says, “Go in the front door and there’s a little desk that you -“
“Don’t you mean a LITTLE STOOL!?”
... I hope you guys enjoy that as much as I did. True story happened today!
I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain.
Somebody had ripped the appendix out.
What do you call the medically licensed crew of a ship that has never been attacked on its own deck?
At 2:00PM a NASA scientist passes out....
After he is revived the medics find out the last time he ate was at breakfast. They determine that he had a "failure to lunch."
What is the medical diagnosis for owning too many dogs?
Someone has collapsed on the luggage carousel at Heathrow Airport today
Medics at the scene have said " they are coming round slowly "
What animal is the best at keeping your medical information confidential?
I was prescribed medication but I couldn't take it. It was too hard to get the lid off. You might have heard of it...
I left the hospital against medical advice...
A story of my friend Al
While on vacation to a Caribbean island, he was Tropic Al
As a master gardener, he is Botanic Al
When the people need a doctor, he is Medic Al
When he tells clever jokes, he’s Comic Al
He can look two ways at once as Bidirection Al
I'm a member of the American Medical Association, AMA.
To the guy who stole my depression medication,
Why was the duck sued for medical malpractice?
What is the most common medical issue for swimmers?
The medical examiner’s office was told to reduce their budget
So they had to cut coroners.
What is the name for the medical procedure in which caviar is harvested?
What's the medical term for having too many dogs?
I never park my car in the shade due to a little known medical condition.
I spent the last two hours trying to get the lid off my medication.
Where part of the college was the medical student studying in?
What medication was the sad ant prescribed?
Medical students dread the test on kidney stones.
It's the hardest one to pass.
My wife had two crowns put on her teeth yesterday. She was complaining about the pain and the dentist gave her some medication for it. We are talking later and she said that she waited too long between the first and second pill and her teeth started to ache again. I asked her what time that was.
She said she didn't remember.
I asked her if it was around tooth hurty!
She got mad and hit me in the arm and stopped talking to me for a while.
Totally worth it.
What did the police say when they finally caught up to the corrupt medical examiner?
Stop! We have you coroner’ed!
The nurse called me and said, “Under ‘medical history’, we were hoping for something specific to you...”
You wrote down “Fleming discovered penicillin in 1928.”
My classmates in medical school said he found the cure for obesity.
He won't tell me what it is, but he insists it's as easy as taking candy from a baby.
Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety medication?
Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety medication?
I just learnt the medical name for Viagra
I recently found out the medical name for Viagra
I've just learnt the medical name for viagra.
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