I work for the Marvel Comics Fairy Agency making magic sticks.

I'm a part of the WANDaVision.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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Is it safe to assume this subreddits fav marvel character is The PUNisher
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AussieWizard
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Marvel at the
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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Why hasn't marvel put advertisements on the hulk?

I mean he's essentially a giant banner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toolaroola12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Which Marvel antihero says the most wordplay jokes?

The Pun-isher

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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I have a friend who is obsessed with the Scarlett Witch, Captain Marvel, and Black Widow.

I guess you can say he's a heroine addict.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drogers5606
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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I heard that Marvel is now sponsoring Uncle Ben's rice and changing the picture to Peter Parker's uncle.

The new slogan is "With great power comes great rice possibilities."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jurassicbond
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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DC and Marvel should make a crossover between The Flash and The Incredible Hulk.

They could call it "The Fast and the Furious."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kwakerjak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2017
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THE TRUE MARVEL, F
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManikSahdev
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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When Captain Marvel goes to the bathroom it's creepy.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/genesiscreation7
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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I don’t why marvel hasn’t tried to put advertisements in the hulk..

He’s pretty much one giant banner..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweatybooty1983
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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My dad is a big fan of Marvel comics, and we were watching the latest Avengers. He kept saying "Thanos is going crazy son, just watch it...

... he will snap anytime now."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Capetoider
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
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I really like that actress in β€œHouse of Cards,” β€œManhattan” and β€œThe Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.”

I’m a Rachel Brosnafan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/backalleywillie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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My mate, Skippy, is a bit of a nerd. Just last night he spent 2 hours telling me about all the characters named Kang.

For instance, Kang the Conqueror is a fictional supervillain appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. In 2009, Kang was ranked as IGN's 65th Greatest Comic Book Villain of All Time

or

In the Simpsons , Kang is a Rigellian from Rigel 7. He and his sister Kodos continuously try to take over Earth and are usually seen attacking Springfield. Kang and Kodos have a lot of space weaponry at hand and have their own spaceship. They speak the Rigellian language, which, by coincidence, is identical to English. Although they look identical, Kang has a deeper voice than Kodos.

I guess you could say Skippy is a Kang Guru...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Eating fish makes you smarter

You’ve heard that eating fish makes you smarter? Well, here’s the proof!

A customer at the local grocery store marveled at the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence.

β€œTell me, what makes you so smart?” he asked the owner.

β€œI wouldn’t share my secret with just anyone,” came the reply. Then, lowering his voice so the other shoppers wouldn’t hear, he continued. β€œBut since you’re a good and faithful customer, I’ll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you’ll be positively brilliant.”

β€œYou sell them here?” the customer asked.

β€œOnly $4 apiece,” said the grocer.

The customer quickly bought three. A week later, he was back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he wasn’t any smarter.

β€œYou didn’t eat enough,” replied the store owner, and the customer went home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he was back and this time he was really angry.

β€œHey,” he said, β€œYou’re selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish for $2.You’re ripping me off!”

β€œYou see?” replied the grocer.β€œYou’re smarter already.”

http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/eating-fish-makes-you-smarter/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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Dadjoke'd my dad at dinner tonight

So my whole family went out for the traditional Jewish Christmas Eve dinner of Chinese food, and I marveled at how good the place was, since we'd never tried it out before. Dad says it was a recommendation from a friend of his who I didn't know; I asked what she did and he said she was a 2-year old nursery school teacher.

I replied, "Wow, she must be pretty advanced for a 2-year old if they let her teach nursery school!" My step-mom laughed, then looked at me, then back at my dad, and went "well, he's definitely got your sense of humor."

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
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Dad joked about the change to Thor

I was talking with my friend about the changes coming to the Marvel character Thor (him becoming a her). My father then pipes up and says "well if I had a sex change I'd be Thor too."

Mighty groans abound.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ulster_Celt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2014
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My first dad joke.

While watching a Modern Marvels clip about vulcanized rubber I turned to my son and told him "It helped the tires to live long and prosper." He gave me nothing, my own dad however loved it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papawolf83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2013
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On the job site

I'm an architect and visited a house with my boss and the client today which is nearly finished. We were talking about the marble counter he got for his bathroom and how nice it is.

My boss - "Yes, client, we really think you're doing a marvelous job with this so far..."

Me - "Maybe even a marbleous job"

silence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PostPostModernism
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2014
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I got my family yesterday on Father's day while eating pineapple sorbet.

We were at Disney marveling at the amount of pineapple sorbet they serve you (for $5, that is) when I said:

"Man, they just Dole it out, don't they?"

My brother just stared at me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuitGuySmitti
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2015
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Dad jokes can be found anywhere

I walked into a Michaels store today and saw a sales sign that had fallen off its stand from one side.

The sales associate saw me looking at it and said, "If you were wondering, we are having a sideways sale!".

I couldn't resist. "Well, that explains why the prices had dropped by half! "

We knew what we did. It was marvelous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Subzero_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2015
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Dad joked at the theater [GotG after credits spoilers]

After the credits rolled in typical Marvel fashion, we had an easter egg, of Howard the Duck.

"Looks like the easter egg hatched, otherwise we wouldn't have seen Howard"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aybaran
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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My friend will be a great dad someday

As I was driving and receiving directions from my friend in the back seat while my other friend was in the front seat I knew he would be a great dad.

Me: so turn here?

Backseat: yep take a left on Nichols (the street)

Frontseat friend: well I would rather turn on Dimes....

Followed by his own brand of slight chuckle. It was marvelous

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninshee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2013
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I don't get why Marvel didn't put advertisements on the Hulk

He's essentially a giant banner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LysdexicGamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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I don’t know why marvel hasn’t tried to put advertisements on the hulk

He’s essentially a giant Banner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-scrotumtickler-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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