A list of puns related to "The Juans"
Which means there was a three to Juan ratio
One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.
His wife answered the door.
"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."
"That much?"
"But you're getting my husband and his otter. They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."
"I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350." the man countered.
"Sorry..." she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."
"Juan we won one, Juan!"
My co-worker (named Juan) is tired of hearing things like "Juan" in a million or Juan-derful. So wanted (Juan-ted) to know if there was some pretty good out there puns.
A Mexican magician announces his next magic trick. He covers himself with a large cloak and counts aloud "Uno.... Dos...." then he disappeared without a tres.
The Juan Ahmed bandit
Teacher : Juan, create a sentence using the word "harmony"
Me: i tell my girlfriend that my money is harmony. We share everything together.
She says I am the Juan.
A woman had two identical twins and gave them up for adoption. One was adopted and named Juan. The other was adopted and named Ahmal. After many years, Juan sent a picture of himself to his birth mother.
She remarked to her husband that she wished she had a picture of Ahmal aswell.
"They're twins!" He said. "If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal!"
Many years later the dad finds out one boy was adopted by a Mexican family and the other by a Muslim family.
The son from the Mexican family, Juan, reaches out to the dad as an adult and the two meet. They have a great time reconnecting and the dad finds out his other son is named Amal.
At the end of the day Juan asks his dad if he wants to meet his other son. The dad declines. Juan asks why and the dad says, βif youβve seen Juan, youβve seen Amal.β
If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?
I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.
If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?
China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.
I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?
I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.
I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.
I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"
I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".
If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?
If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?
My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.
I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.
Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.
Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.
You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"
A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p
... keep reading on reddit β‘One of them is adopted by a family in Egypt and is named Amal and the other is adopted by a family in Mexico and is named Juan.
Years later Juan contacts his mother and sends a picture of himself to her. The mother overwhelmed with happiness, tells her husband that she wishes she could also see Amal.
He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan you've seen Amal."
Dad: (immediately)because Juan is the loneliest number.
True Story.
Local gym, we're on the treadmills close to the doors. A group of Mexican descendants walk out the doors, this is a 24 hr gym after normal business hours. Wife: I wonder if all of them have memberships Me: No, just Juan..... Wife: ..... :/ I swear I'm not racist.
From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns
What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!
Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesnβt Hang Solow!
Why shouldnβt you ask Yoda for money? Because heβs always a little short
What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi
What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi
What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks
What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be
Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul
Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!
Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!
Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its buttons.
Luke: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? Lei Not sure. Luke: To get to the Dark Side.
Darth Vader: I know what youβre getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.
What do Whipids say when they kiss? Ouch.
What is a jediβs favorite toy? A yo-yoda
What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2
Where does Jabba the Hutt eat? Pizza Hutt
What is Jabba the Huttβs middle name? βTheβ Why is Han Solo a loner? Because heβs solo.
What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi What do you call a Sith who wonβt fight? A Sithy.
What time is it when Darth Vader steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.
What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D2
Which side of a wookie has the most hair? The outside.
Where does Jabba eat dinner? Pizza Hutt
Who do Jedi call to help open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi
What do you call someone that tries to be a Jedi? Obi-Wannabe
What do you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett
What time is it when Jabba the Hutt sits on your blaster? Time to get a new blaster! Why is Luke
Skywalker always invited on picnics? He always has the forks with him.
Which imperial officer hated Thanksgiving? Grand Moff Turkeyn
What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly? Game of Clones
Why did
... keep reading on reddit β‘When they find the Juan, they'll know.
So a year or so back, my family is eating dinner at a restaurant that serves bottled soda. I'm drinking a Coke. Now, this is back in the day when the "Share a Coke" campaign was a huge deal, so mine said "Share a Coke with Juan."
After a few moments, my sister looks at me and says, "LinkRar, you need to share that with Juan." And without missing a beat, I quickly reply,
"But (sister name here), I have no JUAN to share it with."
My sister did not like it very much.
Juan.
What gender, and how would you rate the quality of work?
Emanuel.
Go figure I got out joked by a Grandpa. I was talking to my father-in-law and the following took place.
Me: I have a great idea. I'm going to get a bunch of young good looking hispanic guys and make a bilingual boy band.
... (he's looking at his phone)
I'm gonna call it Juan Direction.
... (he looks up)
FIL: I saw something that said Juan Direction online.
Me: oh?
FIL: It said south.
Why did the blind man turn down the Hispanic employee's offer to help? His name was Juan C. but the blind man wanted Tieu C.
One day at a US immigration office, a man walked in seeking citizenship. The desk clerk began the usual questioning: "name, occupation, country of origin"? The man replied, " Juan Martinez, illusionist, Mexico".
During the process Juan made small talk and displayed his talent as an illusionist. The clerk found him to be a charming, funny, and charismatic man, which put the normally grouchy clerk in a great mood!
The clerk was so enamored by Juan, he let him skip the formalities and allowed him straight into the US.
After Juan left, a coworker asked the clerk why he would allow a man to just walk in to the US. To which the clerk responded...
"For once in my long career working in immigration, I was truly amazed and entertained by a potential citizen, so I decided to waive a magic Juan"!
So I'm at a friend's house and his parents are there. He introduces me and then his dad takes over.
-- Hi just_another_juan I'm Luis, and this is my wife. Most people call her Veronica but I usually call her on the phone.
EDIT: Grammar; extra word.
They're Juan and the same.
and told me that he and his buddies built and a snowman and named him "Juan". I asked him if they built multiple snowmen. "No," he said. To which I replied, "So, you only built Juan?" Rinse and repeat until he got the joke.
My housemate was talking about her upcoming trip to Puerto Rico and saying that she had to transfer flights in San Juan.
"But why would you continue after San Juan?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know what they say, when you've San Juan, you've seen 'em all!" Chuckles to self for the next five minutes
I work at a pizza shop and when orders are completed we yell the order so the customers can pick them up. An order came up with the name "Juan" so naturally I yelled out "I have Juan large pepperoni pizza for pick up. Any Juan here for that order?"
Earlier today I got a phone call from a Walmart pharmacy. They were looking a Juan something. I said "Sorry, you have the wrong number." She replied and unknowingly set herself up by asking "No Juan?" I quickly replied, "No, there's no Juan here." There was a brief silence, she gave little giggle and said goodbye.
So I'm visiting Puerto Rico with my family (dad, mom, sister and I). One of the main attractions in San Juan is the Capitol building. After walking around for a while, I had to go to the bathroom. This is the exchange that ensued:
Me: Have you seen any bathrooms nearby?
Dad: Nope, no bathrooms around here.
Me: Ummm, why not?
Dad: Because all politicians are full of shit!
Groans were had all around
One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.
His wife answered the door.
"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."
"That much?"
"But you're getting my husband and his otter. They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."
"I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350." the man countered.
"Sorry..." she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Mexico, they name him Juan". Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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