Downloaded film Titanic for the family to watch this evening. Annoyingly Video and Sound has come across in separate files.
Today is the best evening ever! Do you wanna know why?
Today evening at 21:21:21 o‘clock is the 21 day of year 21 of the 21 century.
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was not worth the trip.
I pestered my wife all evening with nonstop corny wordplay jokes until I got “the look”...
I may have encountered some punintended consequences.
There’s a ghost that exclusively haunts city hall in the evening...
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
Sir Good, what do people say to you when you leave in the evening?
My son is playing the clarinet for a school concert this evening
It’s a good thing his bedroom is soundproof
A guy starts working at a submarine. In the first day he works as a cleaner, then helps at the kitchen. Next day he runs the ship. In the evening he’s absolutely exhausted so he asks his friend “Why I have to change my position every time?”
He replies “I know, this sub is full of reposts”
This evening, everyone remember to relax and sit in front of the TV
Because you will see nothing if you sit behind it.
What do you call a lady of the evening only interested rear maneuvers?
Q: What do you call a lady of the evening only interested rear maneuvers?
A: A back ho.
I'll show myself out
I was trapped between 2 empty shelves when the grocery closed for the evening...
I was stranded in a deserted aisle...
Him: I'm taking the canine for an evening stroll around the neighborhood. Her: Why don't you just say you're taking the dog for a walk?
Dog: * Goes absolutely nuts *
Was trying to impress a fine looking lady just the other evening, and I told her people call me "X".
She asked me why, and I had honestly not expected it-- so I panicked and went, "I dunno, "Z"?"
So I bought tickets to the new football game but my wife is expecting to give birth that evening is anyone interested in being at the birth?
The only thing more depressing than Sunday evening..
Got the preemptive reversal from my own father this evening. Sign of a true master.
We were discussing an upcoming business trip I'm taking you next week, when he says:
"So what's taking you there, other then the plane?"
Smooth Dad, real smooth.....
My father needed surgery, and the only time the doctor could do it was on an evening flight
I knew this was a fly by night operation
What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?
“Make queso, number one.”
Saw a possum on the road while driving to the store this evening.
He was still there on the return trip. He was quite deadicated.
They start the evening news with 'good evening' then tell you why it isn't
The Queen gives out OBEs to everyone now so this evening I'll be busy, I'm going to tie a rope to her and drag her behind my car...
I'm pulling an all-knighter.
I used to go over to my grandmother's house in the middle of the night and drink earl grey with her. It was our ritual. I called this evening out of habit, forgetting she had passed away, and her ghost answered.
I guess you could call it a boo-tea call.
In honour of Canada playing Russia in World Junior hockey this evening, I predict we will be putin on the gold medal.
Every time dad sees a digital 24 hour clock at quarter past 8 in the evening he says...
"It's that time of the year again!"
Roll on 2060...
Wife turned the tables and Dad Joked me on our evening walk. I was not prepared...
Wife: We should take the short cut this time.
Me: Short cut? But who would want to cut things short?
Wife: ...a hair dresser?
Wow.
Lady of the evening asks my dad if he wants a little company...
He says, "No thanks, I'd like a big company with 1000 employees, unlimited expense account and a corporate jet."
What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?
“Make queso, number one.”
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