My Dad just said this one in the drive-thru not 2 minutes ago
First Window staffer, who takes the payment: "Hi, it's $7.30 (said like 'seven-thirty')
My Father: "No it's not, it's only 1 o' clock"
My Honda Civic was banned from the drive-in movies
They say it contains a huge spoiler.
I made that up on the spot and told it to my kid. He told me it's not funny and it's a horrible joke. 😟
Today I will be talking about the Makita 18V Cordless 1/2-Inch Hammer Drive
In an effort to combat climate change, the U.S. Army will no longer allow rabbits to drive vehicles.
This will eliminate 75% of America’s car bunny missions.
Where is the worst place to drive when your wrist hurts?
With the McRib re-released a couple of days ago, I did this at McDonalds drive-thru today:
Me: Do you have Mac Rib in that special box.
Order Girl: Yes, yes we do.
Me: You should let him out. And I'll take three of them and a large fry.
(I was the only one that laughed, she just read back my total)
Why couldn’t the Russian drive forward?
His car was Putin reverse.
The only way to kill a French vampire is to slowly drive a baguette through its heart.
The process is a little painstaking.
Dad drives to the local high school and picks up his son.
Son: “Dad, put me down, you’re embarrassing me.”
Drives me crazy when people keep repeating the same dad joke
A drunk dude decided to drive and get more beer. After being pulled over and questioned by the cop, the cop said “ sir I’m going to have to put you under arrest.” The guy then said
My boys were arguing about who would get to drive the go-kart around the track...
I told them, "You guys should take turns".
Where's the one place it's acceptable to drink and drive?
The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.
Operation Toot And Calm ‘Em will last a week.
What vehicle did German soldiers use to drive around during the second world war?
I was pulled over by the police. The officer said "According to your license you should be wearing glasses when you drive"
I said no, it's okay I have Contacts
He said "I don't give a damn who you think you know"
Guy #1: Check out these pictures I took of the wheat fields during my drive in the country
Guy #2: That would explain why they look so grainy
A couple of weeks ago my dad was taking us on a camping trip preceeded by a two hour drive, so a minute before we were going to leave the house he sat me and my brother down and told us:
Speak now or forever hold your pee
I Guess the Steaks are High When You Drive Down This Road
I wanted to drive to the shop to buy some guacamole
Why did the man drive his car in the ocean?
He wanted to get some extra bass in the speakers
I took a drive to Des Moines to see the Mighty Mighty Bosstones.
It was my first Iowa ska trip.
It took me a while to understand why it is hard to drive in the snow,
“Be careful!” My friend told me. “People in the UK drive on the left side of the road”
Thanks to him I guess I’ll be all right
I don’t test drive cars because of the “you break it you bought it.” Policy.
I mean braking is the only way to stop the vehicle.
My brother has me worried. Any time he drives by a milk farm, he pulls over and leaves a few dollars on the fence.
Doesn’t he know cow tipping is illegal?
What kind of car did the famous sushi chef drive?
A guy in a tracker just drive past me yelling "the end of the world is nigh!"
I once tried to drive my Toyota Corolla with a stick shift on the Autobahn, but German authorities flagged me down and informed me that was illegal...
So I drove down the manualbahn instead.
Saw this on the drive home
Our second child, a boy, was nearly born on the drive over to the hospital.
At the time we were thinking of naming him Carson.
So heard about the arab who got a new car? He drives a...
“Dad, do all countries in Europe drive on the right?”
Dad: Yes, the Brits left.
My friend Adam was telling me how, in addition to marrying a hot super model whose daddy bought the house he lives in and the car he drives just for marrying his daughter, he was also sexing up a hot stewardess. I found it hard to believe...
Because Adams make up everything!
At the drive through with my dad
Cashier: that'll be $8.16
Dad: use change
Me: I dont have any change
Dad: that makes no cents
What did the snail say to his voice activated vehicle when it asked him if he was ready to go for a drive
I put the new engineer in charge of driving the locomotive despite without having lessons on how to drive it...
I figured he would do well with on the job training. He went off the rails and wrecked. I don't need to mention about his conduct during the process.
I'm very proud of my latest work. To make good puns, you need to have the drive
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "how do you drive this thing?
People think it's easy to drive the metro
You need to train a lot for it
I went to a motivation conference and the speaker asked the audience, "What drives you?"
I put my hand up and answered, "My car."
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "how do you drive this thing?
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