My friend called me and said he lost the million dollar prize because he couldn't think of a neighbor to Saudi Arabia...
I make Christmas wreaths for a living. So I decided I would make one out of 100 dollar bills the other day.
I call it a wreath of Franklin.
I found a hairpiece at the dollar store today!
It was a small price toupee.
I boughta broken radio for a dollar that had the volume stuck all the way up!
I told my dad I didn’t find any sand dollars in the ocean.
He said it was because we weren’t anywhere near the bank.
What did the dollar say say to the 4 quarters
Why did the chicken like to shop at the dollar store?
My son was washing some dollar bills the other day
He said it was money laundering
I withdrew one dollar from the bank but they called the police
The nine zeroes after the one don’t count. Right? They add up to nothing.
I saw a radio on sale for only a dollar. Only catch was the volume was stuck on high.
I realized, I can’t turn this down.
Yesterday I saw a radio on sale for a dollar. The sign said that the volume was stuck on full.
I thought, well, I can’t turn that down.
What was the dollar bill’s biggest fear?
While at the beach, my wife asked me how we can get a sand dollar.
I told her, "all you need to do is break a sand 5."
A man ordered a glass of water at a fancy restaurant. It cost him 10 dollars. When the waiter delivered it, he asked the waiter why it was so expensive.
The waiter responds “It’s tap quality”
Why are you supposed to round to the nearest dollar on your tax returns?
Because the IRS has no cents.
My daughter wanted a bouncy castle for her birthday. The guy said the rental was $50, and the set-up fee was $1000 dollars.
I said, “That’s outrageous!”
He just shrugged and said, “That’s inflation for you.”
How come it used to cost a quarter to pump your tires at the gas station, and now it costs a dollar?
My new business failed miserably, I was selling T-shirts featuring glow in the dark dollar bills
But then my Dad reminded me: money doesn’t glow on tees.
George Washington predicted that some day in the future, a dollar bill will contain his likeness.
In that sense, he was on the money.
The nearby Apple Store just got robbed thousands of dollars worth of MacBooks and iPhones...
...I heard the cops are now looking for iWitnesses
Did you hear about the Franciscan Friar who inherited 30 million dollars?
My brother has me worried. Any time he drives by a milk farm, he pulls over and leaves a few dollars on the fence.
Doesn’t he know cow tipping is illegal?
Viagra worth thousands of dollars was stolen from the pharmacy yesterday.
They are looking for hardened criminals.
Did you hear about the cow competition worth 1,000,000 dollars?
The higher up you can get your cow the higher the score you get.
The steaks are rising.
I won a million dollars playing the lottery and donated a quarter of it to my favorite charity.
What should I do with the remaining $999,999.75?
I went to the Dollar Tree
Just spent $300 dollars on a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver......
Cant believe i just spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.
Why is Dollar Tree the best place to shop for deer?
Because the males are a buck.
While walking down the street a man found a hundred dollars on the ground...
While walking down the street a man found a hundred dollars on the ground. Ecstatic, he took the money and walked into a nearby store, thinking he would treat himself. Inside, he purchased a large chocolate cake and started walking home. Suddenly, a crazy old man popped out of an alley next to him and ran straight past him! As he went by, he dropped a mechanical eyeball straight into the middle of the cake. Dazed, the man stopped and stared at the eyeball when it suddenly started to belt out a tune!
Well, obviously the best part of this story was the finding of the 100 dollars - everything else is just eye sing on the cake.
Went into a Salvation Army store and saw a radio. It was turned up full blast but the volume knob was missing. It only cost 1 dollar.
I said boy I can’t turn this down.
My brother won 5 million dollars on the lottery, then promptly spent it all on a solid gold, jewel-encrusted garbage can.
In Jamaica a pie costs 3 dollars, and in the Bahamas it costs 5 dollars
These are the pie rates of the Caribbeans...
I paid a dollar and the cashier said I had to pay $1.02.
Let me tell you, I gave THAT lady my two cents!
Why did the man break a dollar?
Did you hear about the new belts they're making out of dollar bills?
Sounds like a waist of money to me.
Yesterday I was supposed to get 2 dollars and 50 cents after my transaction at the mall but only got 2 dollars
It doesn’t make any cents
Did you hear about the guy who hid millions of dollars in his washing machines?
He was arrested for money laundering.
The first million people to send me a million dollars, will get a copy of my guide.
Of how to become a millionaire from Reddit.
(original joke) So I left a 20 dollar bill in my pants and they went through the wash...
So now I’m wanted for money laundering
A man asked a barista the price (in dollars) of a cup of a cup of earl grey and the answer to life, the universe, and everything.
"For tea, two" the barista responded.
I live in the south and every winter I invest a few dollars into bread companies
It’s my best bet at making dough during the winter weather
I fell asleep with my phone under the pillow last night and when I woke up, it was gone and there was a dollar bill in its place...
Must have been the Bluetooth fairy!
Did you hear about the man who took 10million dollars to Japan.
Meeting a dollar around the corner is a coin-cidence
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
