23 Hilarious The Actual Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Ah yes medical pun (putting the actual joke in the title would kinda ruin it all ngl)

👍︎ 3k

💬︎

👤︎ u/PrevAccountBanned

📅︎ Jan 11 2021

🚨︎ report

I'm more proud of this joke I made up than the actual drawing, but, some OC for Christmas reddit.com/gallery/kjidtv

👍︎ 25

💬︎

👤︎ u/hypeeveryoneup

📅︎ Dec 24 2020

🚨︎ report

Actual dad joke I heard in the supermarket

A dad was with his daughter and she was looking for hair dye and he said... "Don't get that red colour you got last time, it made you a transginger"

👍︎ 45

💬︎

👤︎ u/Dantr1x

📅︎ Nov 17 2020

🚨︎ report

Your mother couldn’t believe that an actual skunk could predict the future.

But it was a real fortune smeller.

👍︎ 8

💬︎

👤︎ u/b33fb

📅︎ Aug 26 2020

🚨︎ report

The ACTUAL holy crossover avent

👍︎ 4k

💬︎

👤︎ u/TittenTatten

📅︎ Mar 22 2018

🚨︎ report

Birth control should be the actual name used for delivery

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/poven100

📅︎ May 06 2020

🚨︎ report

Should be the actual flag

👍︎ 17

💬︎

👤︎ u/itaielidan

📅︎ Dec 20 2019

🚨︎ report

My actual dad reading the newspaper out loud "learn to play piano by ear!"

Then he mutters under his breath "I'd rather use my fingers"

👍︎ 31

💬︎

👤︎ u/mattc_guitar

📅︎ Feb 26 2020

🚨︎ report

The actual peak of humanity

👍︎ 17

💬︎

👤︎ u/beijial

📅︎ Aug 02 2019

🚨︎ report

I’m looking for punny popsicle names. I’d like them to be a play on actual names like Pop Ross, Mary Pop-pins, Pop Seger, Albert Ice-stein, Freezy F Baby, David Pop-perfield, and Iggy Pop. I’m particularly interested in playing upon the names of historical female figures. Help please and thank you!

👍︎ 4

💬︎

👤︎ u/polkadotmcgot

📅︎ Jul 18 2019

🚨︎ report

The actual Wisconsin DNR

👍︎ 4

💬︎

👤︎ u/RicksSzechuanSauce1

📅︎ Jan 22 2019

🚨︎ report

Has more awards than the actual post.

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/FTThiccy

📅︎ Apr 13 2019

🚨︎ report

I had the best Dad moment last night... *actual conversation with my eight year old*

Son: Dad... how many kidneys do I have?

Me: Two, you have two, son.

Son: Nope.... I have four. Point to belly two kidneys here... points to legs... and two kid knees here!

The student has become the teacher.

👍︎ 24

💬︎

👤︎ u/xenevi

📅︎ Jul 31 2019

🚨︎ report

Actual conversation with my wife this morning after receiving a wedding invitation: wife: "I put January 19th in the calendar"

Me: "it wasn't there already!?"

👍︎ 9

💬︎

👤︎ u/justryingtokeepup

📅︎ Jun 13 2019

🚨︎ report

(Actual joke told by my dad) Why can you only buy clocks from the thrift store?

Because they’re second hand.

👍︎ 11

💬︎

👤︎ u/cyanidenohappiness

📅︎ Apr 10 2019

🚨︎ report

I can’t figure out the actual reason I got married...

I guess it just has a nice ring to it

👍︎ 10

💬︎

👤︎ u/essjayhawk

📅︎ Apr 12 2019

🚨︎ report

Whoever edited the Mein Kampf was an actual "Grammer Nazi" reddit.com/r/Showerthough…

👍︎ 28

💬︎

👤︎ u/Plausibl3

📅︎ Nov 03 2018

🚨︎ report

Did you hear about the teacher who carelessly assigned every student a good grade, regardless of their actual work?

She gave zero F’s.

👍︎ 82

💬︎

👤︎ u/vicious_viridian

📅︎ May 26 2018

🚨︎ report

To attract new visitors, the Museum of Natural History ran a promotion where they gave away actual dinosaur vertebrae from their collection.

Everyone was taken aback.

👍︎ 13

💬︎

👤︎ u/this_is_grand

📅︎ Oct 20 2018

🚨︎ report

Got an actual facepalm from the wife today!

So we were driving downtown and there was a manikin standing in front of a second hand clothing store with a "50% off" sign around its neck.

"She's not wearing any pants!" said my wife.

"Well it says right on the sign there's half off today..."

A facepalm and audible groan ensued. I may not be a dad yet but I'm going to be ready.

👍︎ 29

💬︎

👤︎ u/Monsterpiece42

📅︎ Jul 20 2016

🚨︎ report

Actual quote by a sheriff at the Oroville Dam news conference:

"This is a fluid situation, obviously..."

context: http://www.kcra.com/article/evacuation-orders-issued-for-low-levels-of-oroville/8735215

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/Matt111098

📅︎ Feb 13 2017

🚨︎ report

My friend works in a bird rehabilitation place. She put a video of her with an actual bird of prey in the gift shop on Instagram and said "Shopping is for the birds". So I sent her a message saying "I bet it's favorite store is Birdbath and beyond".

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/MarkJohn73

📅︎ Dec 10 2016

🚨︎ report

I've been an actual father for thirty years and at least one of the three at least once or twice a season still asks me what it's like out.

Is it nice out? It's so nice out I almost left it out. Is it cold out? I don't know. The temperature is so low I couldn't take it out. Is it hot out? I don't know. Ask your mom.

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/hypoppa

📅︎ Sep 07 2015

🚨︎ report