While at a restaurant, the waitress was totally flirting with me with my wife present. After she walked away, my wife said βShe obviously has COVID!β βWhy would you think that?β I asked.
βBecause she has no taste.β
π︎ 13k
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Boxers donβt have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is?
They don't fancy each other.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
Why was the ghost that haunted the pharmacy arrested?
Illegal possession of drugs.
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︎ Apr 02 2021
No one cares about me - that's why I can't evaporate
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 11 2021
We all know that 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you need 3 squared meals per day
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︎ Apr 06 2021
This pun is so painful maybe that's why it's on a window pane
π︎ 46
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︎ Mar 19 2021
I never understood why people say that a tennis ball hurts so bad.
π︎ 13
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︎ Apr 02 2021
Why is that fighter smiling?
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 13 2021
That explains why he tried to mow down little Anakin
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︎ Mar 07 2021
Why are people that live on mountains smarter?
Because they have high-schools
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︎ Apr 02 2021
There's an Amazon Forest but no Microsoft Forest - why is that?
π︎ 466
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︎ Dec 24 2020
So that is why...
π︎ 196
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Why did that boat really get stuck in the Suez Canal?
Someone turned on the light in the back seat and it distracted the driver.
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︎ Apr 01 2021
That's why it's called "Peligro" (OC)
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
Why was the man not bothered or upset that someone had stolen all his dried grapes?
He had no raisons to be...
π︎ 15
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︎ Mar 03 2021
"Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway!" My youngest son thought of that all by himself and shared it with us during Christmas dinner!
He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Honolulu...
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︎ Dec 26 2020
someone asked me why i'm dating a girl that works as a typist
i said she's just my type.
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︎ Feb 27 2021
I told my wife that I must always be positive. She asked βWhy must you?β
βItβs in my blood.β I replied.
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Why should you never marry someone that likes collecting weird coins
They have no common cents
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︎ Jan 13 2021
I don't know why people are concluding that I am constipated.
They just keep telling me that I'm full of shit.
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︎ Feb 14 2021
We all know that 7 ate 9, but why did 7 eat 9?
His doctor told him to get three square meals a day.
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︎ Nov 09 2020
Why are you cuddling that saw?
For emotional support.
It's my coping saw.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 19 2021
She said "Why are you holding that ugly great bee?" and I said "It's not ugly to me"
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Me: I'm much better at making Mac and cheese, and you know why that is?
Wife: I'm going to regret this. Why?
Me: I'm cheesier than you.
Wife: ...
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 02 2021
When flying in V formation one side's often longer than the other. Do you know why that is?
That side has more birds on it
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︎ Jan 08 2021
At a job interview the interviewer asked me why i had a 4 year gap in my resume. I told him, that itβs because i went to yale. He looked impressed and told me iβm hired.
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︎ Sep 23 2020
Why do you call the guy thatβs afraid a pear will annoy him at any time?
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Wife: Oh my god why have you got that huge lizard?
Husband: You said we needed a baby monitor!!
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︎ Nov 24 2020
did nt have enough karma for okbr so it goes here (that's why its just awful)
π︎ 8
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︎ Aug 04 2020
I once saw a guy staring at a can of orange juice, and when I asked him why he was doing that,
he said, "because it says 'concentrate' on the can."
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︎ Sep 21 2020
Why are there no Vampire stories that take place in Africa?
I thought about this for awhile, then it hit me that Vampires are weak to holy water. The rains are blessed down in Africa.
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︎ Aug 19 2020
Thereβs a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, βWhy does earth fall down like that?β
His dad answers, βItβs terrain.β
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︎ Oct 28 2020
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
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︎ Sep 10 2020
My young son and I were having our first discussion about drugs. He was curious about why people would do drugs in the first place, and I told him that many people do it because it produces different feelings of euphoria. He asked, "what's euphoria?" I told him that it was hard to explain...
But it's a feeling somewhere between euthreeia and eufiveia.
π︎ 80
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︎ Sep 01 2020
My infant son is a bit constipated. My wife was like "I want to weigh him today" and I said that's not a good idea. She asked why...
Because he is full of shit.
She responded "you shouldn't say that"
I responded "what he just lies all day."
Real convo
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︎ Nov 03 2020
Why is that ship called 3.14?
Because itβs filled with Ο-rates.
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 06 2020
Walking through East London, I asked my friend: βWhy is there a bull in that charity shop?β
He replied, βThatβs an Ox, famβ
π︎ 11
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︎ Sep 27 2020
"Egg-plant" shirt by me. Never got why the vegetable was called that until I found out that they used to be white and look like goose eggs back in the day
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︎ Jun 25 2020
A man is walking down the sidewalk dragging a long, heavy chain behind him. A woman asks him, "Why are you dragging that chain behind you, mister?"
The man says, "Lady, you ever tried to push one of these things out front?!?"
π︎ 20
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︎ Sep 16 2020
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you donβt.β And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town canβt be buried here.β I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz theyβre still alive!"
π︎ 84
π
︎ Jul 26 2020
These puns are special type of cheesy, Feta cheesy, that's why they are Greece-y.
π︎ 72
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︎ Apr 30 2020
Why did the bank hire a dog that collects sticks?
They needed a new branch manager.
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 21 2020
Iβve posted this before but you guys didnβt recognize the brilliance of it so Iβm posting it again because fuck you thatβs why
π︎ 15
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︎ Jun 13 2020
Iβm a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....βlooks like you have the best jobβ he says, βwhy is that?β I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!
π︎ 17
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︎ Aug 06 2020
"Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway!" My youngest son thought of that all by himself!
He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska...
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Apr 27 2020
When geese fly in a V formation, one side is always longer than the other. Do you know why that is?
There are more birds on that side.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway! ~ My youngest son thought of that all by himself!
He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska...
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Oct 08 2019
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you donβt.β And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town canβt be buried here.β I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz theyβre still alive!"
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jul 28 2019
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