That isn’t a good sign.
My friend, looking at me weirdly: why are you talking to a fucking FRUIT?!
...It was a close call.
I told him, "My door is always open".
He said "Gimme asec".
Ok, so this one needs a bit of buildup.
At the time (a week or so ago) I was making a homebrew item for DnD (for the uninformed, Homebrew are custom made items/classes/spells to use in a DnD game at the discretion of the DM (Dungeon Master)).
I had shown this item (shameless plug) to my friend (who is also the DM of the campaign I'm in now) in the hopes of using it in the campaign. He had pointed out that the item was a bit OP for it's cost and that the homebrew page I had made for it was too long. We were discussing ways to improve both the item and the page, and then got on the topic of magic items in general.
It went something along the lines of this:
DM: ... you can't really destroy a magic item before removing the magic from it. Like, you could try to melt down a magic sword for example, but all that would really do is make it too hot to hold. You could even bend it, but not outright destroy it.
Me: That's gotta be one pissed off magic sword.
DM: I mean, yeah, if it's sentient.
Me: Maybe it got so angry at being bent, that it gains sentience just spite you or something.
DM: Well, yeah maybe.
And this, people of reddit, is when the PUN, popped into my head.
Me: *leans in* you could say that the sword gained sentience cuz it got... bent out of shape.
A second or two of silence, and I see the pun register in his head, and I fucking lost it.
I then laugh for a straight minute. After about ten secunds of me busting a gut, he said "Aight, Imma head out"
We're cool now, but he really didn't want to talk to me the next day.
I needle little space.
I chose spelling.
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I said “I guess I’m being PUNished”
It’s been a week and she still won’t talk to me. Was it worth it? Yes.
I said, “Sure. My door is always open.”
I made my own mother bored.
I was speechless.
Yes I told him. Whenever I need expert advice.
She was breaking up.
I was blown away when she showed me how to converse.
“Go to your womb!”
I guess you could say I got a brand new pair of shoos.
But she didn’t have the password to my pillow fort, so I couldn’t let her in.
It's like I'm transparent to him
[removed]
They always get confused so I have to explain
"look: I'm a Teller, not a listener"
...and you're going "Oh my gosh, I'm so overwhelmed," and the psychic doesn't say "Hi, So Overwhelmed, I'm dead," demand your money back.
Me: if the party is during the time when I'm home for Christmas I'll go, but I don't have any flexibility in my schedule. It's a small window.
Dad: I'm a truck driver. Believe me, I know all about small windows.
So my mom sent me a text asking if we had basil, thyme, rosemary, and sage. I didn't respond then she texted me again saying she's going to the store, and I need to check now. I texted her back 'I'm running out of thyme to tell you?' It's been half an hour and hasn't answered
That is not a good sign.
That is not a good sign.
That’s not a good sign.
That is not a good sign.
That was not a good sign.
That was not a good sign.
That’s not a good sign.
That’s not a good sign.
I told him, 'My door is always open!'
That’s not a good sign.
I said, “Sure. My door is always open.”
