A list of puns related to "Swarthy Songs for Swabs"
Its been a week since I got tested, I'm unable to get to work due to being ill for 3 days and get required to take a test. The test result is taking longer. Im a daily earner worker, I manage to keep us surviving for a week without income, but that is the limit of my little save money. I know God wont fail to feed us, I trust in Him.
Pray for me and my family.
This actually unfolded over the last week, and am still "enjoying" the results of my actions..
So for the last few years I've regularly had an itch in my ears. Over the past few months it came as far as having an almost daily itch and I had to clean my ears multiple times a week because of the ginormous amount of ear wax my ears were producing.
I had been searching for a long time to find an alternative for cotton swabs as I am aware they're not the best but wasn't able to find any (guess I'm an idiot..)
Last week the itching became so bad I started googling again knowing doctors will not be an option for at least 6 more months in my country due to COVID. And so I found an ear spray that is supposed to help dissolve your ear wax while keeping your ears moisturized. Sounds perfect!
I ordered the spray and as soon as it arrived I started going to town. At first the itch immediately subsided. Then.. It became much - and I mean much! worse. Also, any time I'd move my jaw I'd hear a scratchy noise inside my ear...
Finally fed up I took out a cotton swab and was shocked as I pulled out a huge piece of dead skin from my ear. As in.. I didn't even know the inner ear had that much skin surface.. it's like I'm a badly shedding lizard in my ear. Every day I'm pulling out huge pieces of dead skin from my ears and it doesn't seem to stop anytime soon..
So yeah.. gonna enjoy that for a while.. At least my hearing has improved since using the spray.. No more cotton swabs for me..
Tl;dr: Used cotton swabs for years, itchy ears caused me to try out a spray against ear wax. Turns out my ears were itchy from years and years of dead skin buildup. Now my ears are even more itchy from all the dead skin getting unstuck in my ears.
Edit. To all the people asking me in the comments for the product. Check your local pharmacy, they probably have similar products there and will be able to inform you. Best of luck and healthy ear cleaning to y'all!
Because theyβre used to nosetests
I landed in Trivandrum airport today morning at 3. Just before leaving the airport, they stuck the sample collection swab up my nose to do RT-PCR. I have been tested for COVID multiple times in the past and every time the swab went deep enough to hit the reset button in my brain. Except this time, the swab didn't go all the way to back of my nose and probably just went half way. Should I be concerned? Can I let the authorities know my concern and ask them to test me again?
I don't want to get a negative result just because of what could be bad sampling.
Hi everyone, it was requested that I make a post on this subject to get the word out:
Variant testing and third wave volumes are causing our testing turn-around-times to increase, again. If you need a test for a procedure, be sure to give enough time to get a result. We had everything under 24 hours before but that is no longer the case. Consider 48 hours MINIMUM just to be safe. Things can go wrong to increase that as well.
Every positive is tested a second time to screen for VOC. Screen positives are then processed for further genome testing to get specifics. That's 2 or 3 tests per positive and each variant test means fewer original new-patient tests for that time period. These tests aren't captured in the daily test count but will lower total test counts and raise TAT. As a result, you'll see that we're not hitting our previous high testing numbers while still being completely swamped and taking longer in general.
Imagine prepping all night for a colonoscopy(not a fun time) just to have it cancelled because you waited until the last second to get your covid swab. STAT results are available for certain situations but if everything becomes STAT, nothing is STAT anymore. If you end up missing a procedure due to a missing result, I am very sorry and I assure you we're doing everything we can.
On VOC data:
VOC data is behind basic COVID data likely by a few days. You'll see what looks like lowering VOC as compared to COVID Classique^tm but it's likely just data backlog. The majority of our positives are the B1.1.7 strain at the moment.
You need 4 negative STD blood, spinal tap, genital swab and urine culture tests BEFORE you are allowed to interact with other people who you MIGHT find sexually attractive!
Link: STDs reach all-time in US for sixth consecutive year | Daily Mail Online
Link: STDs Hit Record High Again, CDC Says | Healthiest Communities Health News | US News
CDC 2: National Overview - Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance, 2019 (cdc.gov)
Syphilis -
Problem: 129,900 cases (56.7% gay/bisexual men, also known as anti-heterosexuals)
Solution: Ban ALL anti-heterosexuals from interacting with another human until we flatten the syphilis curve. If you do not agree, you're literally Hitler who's attempting to wipe out African Americans with syphilis just as the US government did with the Tuskagee Syphilis experiments. Syphilis is a racial justice health emergency!
Gonorrhoea -
Problem: 616,400 cases, up 92% since 2000 (anti-heterosexuals are 42x more likely to be + than straight men)
Solution: Ban ALL anti-heterosexuals from using their mouths since we know that gonorrhoea can be spread orally through bacteria-laden saliva micro droplets. They won't even be allowed to speak, yawn, cough, drink or eat until we have flattened the gonorrhoea curve. anti-heterosexuals are literally bioweapons and should be treated as such! If you don't agree, you're literally a bioterrorist whose rights should be removed and sentenced to an eternity in a re-education camp. Your children should be taken away from you and made wards of the state. Remember, gonorrhoea causes life-threatening complications in 1% of the infected, and that is just too high! We have a 0% gonorrhoea policy.
Chlamydia -
Problem: 1.81M cases (61% of whom are 15-24 YO, also known as the anti-senile)
Solution: Everyone who is anti-senile should wear a mandatory chastity belt until we flatten the chlamydia curve. The COVID-19 variants could mutate and make the rest of the population more susceptible to chlamydia. Just in case some randy adolescents figure out a way to break these chastity belts, all anti-seniles should also be handcuffed with their hand behind thei
... keep reading on reddit β‘First off wanna day that this may be my first post ever so I apologize if this isnβt the place to ask or if I break a rule. (I donβt think I am but Iβm a lurker not a poster so...)
Secondly, I was wondering if anyone knows if those nose swabs tests that some workplaces use can also be used as a drug test? Maybe Iβm being paranoid but Iβd like to not lose my job over a lil bit of nose beers. Any info is helpful!
Nagre-range from 3500-5000 pesos per pax ang swab test sa mga private hospitals dito sa Cavite. TBH, ang hirap para samin patusin to kasi di naman ganun kalakihan sweldo namin ng kapatid ko..
Nakipagcoordinate naman kami sa barangay.. Libre naman kaso next week pa available ang next swabbing tapos inaabot parin ng 5-10 days bago makuha yung result.
Gusto ko lang talaga i-flex yung MOA Arena mega swabbing facility. Pangalawa ko na 'tong swab sa kanila. Libre yung swab naming tatlo pero dapat pasok ka sa categories. Maayos ang sistema, may priority lane din para sa mga seniors, PWDs, pregnant.
Tips: For reference, visit niyo fb page nila. PNP Medical Reserve Force re: categories for free swab test. Pwede din kayo magPM kaso may katagalan lang sumagot, pero di naman inaabot ng 1 day.
Nagpark kami sa MAAX then lakad papuntang MOA Arena. Punta kayo sa MOA Arena facing MOA na entrance. Hanapin si kuya guard, sabihin kung anong category mo tsaka ipakita proof, then bibigyan ka nya ng form.
Walk-in po dito so expect niyo na madaming tao. Nung dumating kami ng 8am, ang haba na ng pila sa regular lane. Kaya agahan niyo po para matapos kayo kagad. Pang numbers 3-4-5 kami sa priority lane (kasama ko parents ko na seniors). By 10:10 am, tapos na kaming maswab. In less than 24 hours, lumabas na din ang results.
For us ang dinala namin ay:
Senior parents: SC ID, Philhealth ID, 1 valid govt ID
Me (govt employee): Company ID, Philhealth ID, 1 valid govt ID
Share lang, sana po makatulong π Stay safe. β€π
just got hired today but i didnβt get drug tested i start tomorrow am i in the clear?
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