Name: Hulk Hogan

Address: 51°23′21″N 30°05′58″E

Contact: 1-800-EAT-SHIT

Experience:

• Sunsweet Growers Inc, Crotch Crescent Oxford Uk, Worked as a unpaid labourer in the prune closet. (This experience showing my undying love to the company and as you can infer, undying love to possible relationships.)

• Cuba, Currently running an authoritarian dictatorship, where I work tirelessly to destroy the Cuban dairy industry from the inside to end Fidel Castros legacy for the wrongs he has done to me. (This political power can spice up the relationship in bed with the dominant power dymanic I have.)

• Runner Up For the Pope of the Catholic Church, I am very involved in the Christian faith and when Pope Francis joins his homebro up in heaven, the Church will crown me the Pope. (This role of course shows I am a man of faith and will never leave and break your heart.)

Skills:

• I am Able to Eat a Whole Package of Cookie Dough and Not Get Sick. Also with this ability is the ability to shit and puke my guts out on command. This has nothing to do with me eating cookie dough I just choose to use these abilities in tandem.

• I am Able to be Very Successful. On my 6th grade graduation I was gifted the award of most achieved, on the account of I was very involved in the school. I was in the School Council, The Safety Patrol, and the highest in my class in terms of grades. I someday wish it emulate that success again. (Which show that I am a very goal oriented person.) However that has not happened

• I Can Use Rollerskates. I am very prolific in the art of rollerskating. If you would like, I would be able to show you how to rollerskate and we can rollerskate together. I can see it already: We spend the afternoon rollerskating by the beach walkway, getting icecream, and exploring the rocky coasts. As the day winds down, we lay a towel on the shore and watch the sunset. Your hands rests in mine as I hold you close...

​

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• I Can Deepthroat an Eggplant. This

re upload I Apologize for using the word Torture in the previous title when it was not an accurate representation of the events. I look to be more accurate in the future.

5 men vanish after 1978 College basketball game in Yuba, California. Victims found to have been starved and tortured.

*Tortured was not accurate in title. A better phrase would be “died under mysterious circumstances, with a number of supplies left untouched”

On February 24, 1978, a group of friends from Yuba City in California; Gary Dale Mathias, Jack Madruga, Jackie Huett, Theodore (Ted) Weiher and William Sterling; set out on a trip to watch a basketball game. They left after it finished and then somehow drove up a mountain into the wilderness and were never seen alive again.

The group aged between 24 and 32 years of age, had developmental disabilities and were all enrolled in a day program for mentally handicapped adults. But that did not mean that they were unable to function in society, quite the opposite.

Of the group, Gary Mathias had the most severe mental health He was suffering from schizophrenia and was on medication to control his symptoms. Jack had low I.Q. but hadn’t been diagnosed as mentally disabled and both him and Gary had served in the U.S. Army and had driver’s licenses.

Mathias took Stellazine and Cogentin, both used in the treatment of schizophrenia. Police records showed he had become violent on occasion and was charged with assault twice. After his return from Army service in Germany, he would fail to take his drugs and lapse into a disoriented psychosis that usually landed him in a Veterans Administration hospital. "Went haywire," is how Bob, his stepfather, put it.

Ted Weiher was employed for a while as a janitor and snack bar clerk but quit at the urging of his family, who thought Weiher's slowness was causing problems. Jackie Charles Huett, had a slight droop to the head, was sometimes slow to respond and a loving shadow to Weiher, who looked after Huett in a protective sort of way and would dial the phone for him when Hyett had to make a call.

Jack Antone Madruga, a high school graduate and Army veteran, was laid off in November 1977 from his job as a busboy for Sunsweet Growers. William Lee Sterling, was Madruga's special friend and deeply religious, would spend hours at the library reading literature to help bring Jesus to patients in mental hospitals. Gary Dale Mathias, was an assistant in his stepfather's gardening business and an army veter

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

She said apple-lutely

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

second hand stores!

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

it's Hans free now..

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

Well, toucan play at that game.

That was the punchline

Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"

I did not know.

So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"

So proud.

Feyonce

He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.

He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.

She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up

So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.

You look for the fresh prints!

Transparent

(sorry it sucks, it's like 2:30 in the morning right now and I haven't slept)

(Edit: holy shit! I wasn't expecting this to get so many upvotes. Also thanks for the awards guys, I really appreciate it!)

It’s a dad-ly disease.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads that get me though my day to day life, without you Dad Jokes wouldn’t mean a thing 😉

On February 24, 1978, a group of friends from Yuba City in California; Gary Dale Mathias, Jack Madruga, Jackie Huett, Theodore (Ted) Weiher and William Sterling; set out on a trip to watch a basketball game. They left after it finished and then somehow drove up a mountain into the wilderness and were never seen alive again.

The group aged between 24 and 32 years of age, had developmental disabilities and were all enrolled in a day program for mentally handicapped adults. But that did not mean that they were unable to function in society, quite the opposite.

Of the group, Gary Mathias had the most severe mental health He was suffering from schizophrenia and was on medication to control his symptoms. Jack had low I.Q. but hadn’t been diagnosed as mentally disabled and both him and Gary had served in the U.S. Army and had driver’s licenses.

Mathias took Stellazine and Cogentin, both used in the treatment of schizophrenia. Police records showed he had become violent on occasion and was charged with assault twice. After his return from Army service in Germany, he would fail to take his drugs and lapse into a disoriented psychosis that usually landed him in a Veterans Administration hospital. "Went haywire," is how Bob, his stepfather, put it.

Ted Weiher was employed for a while as a janitor and snack bar clerk but quit at the urging of his family, who thought Weiher's slowness was causing problems. Jackie Charles Huett, had a slight droop to the head, was sometimes slow to respond and a loving shadow to Weiher, who looked after Huett in a protective sort of way and would dial the phone for him when Hyett had to make a call.

Jack Antone Madruga, a high school graduate and Army veteran, was laid off in November 1977 from his job as a busboy for Sunsweet Growers. William Lee Sterling, was Madruga's special friend and deeply religious, would spend hours at the library reading literature to help bring Jesus to patients in mental hospitals. Gary Dale Mathias, was an assistant in his stepfather's gardening business and an army veteran with psychiatric discharge after drug problems that developed in Germany five years before.

On Friday, February 24th, the five men drove about 50 miles north from Yuba to Chico to attend a college basketball game. When the game ended at the California State University at around 10 pm, they stopped three blocks away at Behr's Market, mildly annoying the clerk (who was trying to close up), and bought one Hostess cherry pie, one Lang

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too