I am not the original poster. This is a repost.

Originally posted by u/stabbedandfired 4 years ago on r/legaladvice.

light editing for readability.

Disgruntled ex employee came back to work a week ago and stabbed me. I am being fired because of it. [Sept 7 2017]

https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/6yqfr9/tx_disgruntled_ex_employee_came_back_to_work_a/

I just now got out of the hospital. Last Monday, I had an old employee we let go on Friday come in. Now this is not unusual as people generally forgot things when they leave. I asked him what he was doing here.

He said he needed to talk to me about what happened. This guy was let go for budget reasons. Simple as that. We cut 5 employees and he unfortunately made the cut.

I informed him that there was no real reason why he was let go. Just a business decision and that we would have glowing letters of recommendation for him, will not interfere with unemployment, and will actually give good references for everyone who called.

This point he claims its bullshit and gets hostile. I try to calm him down as does many other workers nearby. His friend tried to say he would take him to lunch and pay. Basically everyone knew he needed to leave at this point.

He seemed to calm down, but then pulled out a pocket knife and stabbed me in the stomach. I did not even realize I had been stabbed yet as I saw the knife and reacted. I grabbed his arm and held it firmly. The adrenaline was running through me so much I did not realize I had been stabbed yet until I saw the blood. I started to panic and punched him with my free hand in the jaw a few times. I guess one of them hit home as he dropped to the ground.

I sat down in on the ground holding the knife in me as I knew it was probably the only thing keeping me from bleeding out. The other workers that were there held him down until the police arrived. The ambulance took me and I went in for surgery.

Today I receive a phone call that I do not have to return to work. I told my boss that I would be ready for light duty on Monday. He said that my health was not what he meant. One of the HR guys saw me punch the fired worker a few times and said that my face was like "A vicious animal." Exact words.

I told my boss that this was to be expected when fight or flight kicks in. He agreed with me and s

Id like to play this game and have the most amount of pets possible, quantity over quality. Could anyone help me in achieving this?

It seems every time I bandage myself and I'm somewhat near to enemies (Even though they can't see me or I can't see them and they're quite a distance away) my character endlessly tries to bandage their limb and the enemy just gets infinite free hits on me until I die and I can't seem to cancel bandaging myself. I got killed by a roach that came out of nowhere in a house and my character just tried to endlessly put the bandage on a limb.

Is this supposed to happen or is something wrong here?

Previous / First

Writer's Note: More snow. Yaaaaaaaay! -_-

Exasperated sigh.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amina listened to James tell the story of their rescue.

The things he had gone through, in a single day no less, to try to survive. To try to save her. Her mind reeled at the sheer willpower he'd displayed during the battle. He'd driven himself to the brink of death, had even managed to manifest a combat spell, just to try to protect her.

And he'd done so with no forewarning, no knowledge of where they were, or what they'd been up against. He'd done it to survive. But most importantly, he'd done it for her. He'd forced himself to reach her again, and save her, by any means necessary.

And he'd succeeded.

As he'd been telling the story, picking at his food the whole time, Gixelle arrived. She'd just finished her last bit of healing and had gone to look for them when one of the workers had told her where they were. Gixelle confirmed James's story and filled in the parts that he hadn't been there for.

As glad as Amina was about them being able to defeat the Grabber Clan, she actually hated listening to it.

She'd been so useless. She was a warrior, a General in the Army. Her friends had had to fight through a small army of monstrosities, had been injured almost as badly as she had been. Some of the soldiers that had been dispatched had died trying to recover her and James. And she'd just been lying there unconscious the whole time. And now she was half blind.

She was wringing her hands, beside herself with disappointment in herself, when she felt a hand rest on top of them. She looked up and saw James, smiling again.

"Hey." He said. "It's okay."

"No, it's not.' She said, shaking her head. "You almost died because of me." She turned to Gixelle. "And you lost your hand. And what did I do? I was just lying there."

Gixelle laughed and placed her hand on Amina's shoulder, chewed the piece of bacon that was in her mouth and spoke. "As you can see princess." Gixelle waved the hand in front of Amina's good eye. "I'm just fine. Nobody died. We're all fine."

"Besides." James added. "If we hadn't done it, you'd have been sold to some creepy 'smiling blonde guy'. Who knows what they would have done with you? Besides, now I've got dope ass mag

Previous / First

It was just after dawn when they left Portview. James emerged from the healers home wearing his leather jacket against the light cold that had frosted the grass. His right arm was in a sling underneath it. He still had numerous bandages on underneath his clothes. But Amina needed to be brought to Jadesport, so today was the day.

He walked beside her as two of the guards carried her stretcher towards Veliry's magic carriage. It was a sad looking thing. It's once shiny, well waxed exterior was burned black on the back side, and its wheels were very obviously new and didn't match the rest of it. On top of that it was being pulled by a horse instead of the large bird that it had previously had. Inyria had been killed by the raiders the night they'd taken James and Amina. Veliry clearly wasn't happy to be sitting on this new mount. James couldn't blame her.

Kela wasn't exactly happy either. She was still beside herself with her failure to protect them. On top of that she was also relegated to riding a horse now. Her griffin had been killed along with Inyria, and the other griffin had managed to escape and was likely already back at the castle. She was keeping herself occupied by falling into her roll as captain of the guard. Checking and double checking their guard escort and marshaling them for the trip.

Gixelle, despite everything else, actually seemed untroubled by anything. The clan leader was readying Maxel with her good hand, often using her teeth to hold things in place while her remaining hand did the complex work. She seemed completely unphased by anything that had happened and, if James didn't know better, acted as though she was just readying for a morning stroll. But he could tell that she was upset too.

Once Amina had been loaded up into the carriage James made the long limping walk over to where Steve was. He'd asked the healers to focus on his ankle, so it was a lot better, but it still ached quite a bit. It was also bandaged enough that he'd had to put his army boots on instead of the boots he'd bought, then he'd tied them as tightly as he could. It was uncomfortable, and he'd have to loosen them any time they took a break, but the ankle would hold.

Steve was tied to a tree a few dozen yards behind the stables, his muzzle put back on until James could get to him. James could s

On the eve of Mo2 release Im sure there will be a lot of questions and good info on the game is hard to find. This because players are very secretive about what info they want to share and developers want the game to be a surprise. That said here are a few tips I learned over the last month that new players should know:

• https://mortaldata.com/ This is a character builder and Crafting workbench all in one. Learn how to use this for both and it will make you life easier. To people who have not played Mo1 or Mo2 before this will look foreign to you. Best play the game then come back to it. For builds, you best bet is to ask questions on the discord. A lot of the youtube/web posted builds are outdated and/or just bad. Dont fall for the youtube memes by certain people. That shit will get you killed.

• Character creation is everything. Age, weight, lineage and height effect your characters stats. This can all be adjusted to your liking. THERE ARE OPTIMAL BUILD COMBOS FOR ALL RACES AND META's. If you want to min/max you will want to know what these are. Weight can be changed in game via eating fatty food or not eating fatty food. Height through potions although im not sure if this is in yet. Age can not be changed and effects stats in a big way.

• Characters have 1100 Profession points to spend on skills. Some skills are primary skills, some are secondary. Only primary skills take points. Skill are listed what they are when you select them. Things like Melee skills, Magic skills, swimming, riding horses, archery etc are all primary points. 100 points is max for a skill, going over does nothing and only takes points from you. If you see a red button appear press it and it will adjust the over 100 skill to 100 and lock it so you dont gain anymore points into it. You will not be able to choose everything and a good portion of those points are just spend on basic stuff before you even get to the specialized stuff, so spend those points wisely.

• A good player who knows what they are doing can have a fully stated character with 1100 profession points spend and around 10-15 clades in a day and a half as of this last build before the live wipe. This could change, but likely will not. You need to be super optimal, efficient and have a guild to do this. For the average solo player who stays in haven it will take much longer. That said just because you have all your profession points spend and stats maxed doesnt mean your done. You

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Previous / First

The next day, after waking up oddly relaxed, James went to the stable to meet Gixelle.

He felt bad about not keeping his promise to take Steve out riding. He'd intended to take the drake out to the nearest river so he could drink, relax, and stretch his legs. But the conversation with the princess, and it's resulting emotional distress, had lasted into the night and exhausted him.

But today they would ride for sure.

When he arrived the first thing he saw was Maxel sitting outside of Steve's pen patiently. For all her yellow serpentine qualities, James couldn't help but be reminded of a grey hound sitting on it's hind legs. The yellow drake seemed like it was inconvenienced by being the very thought of being here.

As he was thinking this, the doorway between the pens opened up. Gixelle walked out with a large bundle of leather and wood that he assumed must be Steve's saddle. When she saw him she used her head to beckon him over, her hands being full of the saddle set up. He jogged over to help.

"Good morning James. Come help me lay this out so I can show you how it goes on."

"Yeah, no problem. Good morning." He replied. As he jogged up the door slammed open again and Prince Artair came hobbling out on a crutch. His right leg was wrapped in bandages and had two wooden rods going down each side.

"Yeah yeah, morning morning. It's great to be up, and alive, and ten fucking miles from my goddam bed." The prince greeted them. As he got out side he quickly closed the door and leaned up against the wall next to it, breathing heavily.

"Morning sunshine." James said with a mocking smile as Gixelle handed him some of the saddle. "How's the leg treating you so far?"

"Oh. As you can see; it's fucking fantastic." The prince replied as he began massaging the limb through the bandages. "On the upside, I'll get the better part of a month without any of you around because of it."

"You're not going with us tomorrow?" James asked, not really surprised.

Artair pointed at his leg. "Healers said I need at least another week before I can even consider riding. Much less going on a week long journey and then riding back."

"Eh, fair enough." James replied as he laid out the saddle following Gixelles gestures.

The saddle was odd. Unlike any James had ever seen before. But that didn't surprise him too much ei

I guess the concept didn't work

Welcome to this week's installment of the Space Drama!

Not so action packed this time, a space cat's gotta sleep after all.

If you are new to the story, please check out Part One Here. Also check out the three prologue stories for the full context of what all is happening Here.

The next chapter can be found Here.

Finally, the Previous chapter can be found Here.

As always, I am open to suggestions and criticisms. I Hope you Enjoy!

_________________________________________________________________________________________

​-Ruufarrl-

The morning after the Hunt they had started to look for ship listings that were headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, there was little headed out to GalCom space outside of luxury cruises. The next regular ship to make the trip wasn't going to be for another two and a half weeks.

They weren't in any great rush to leave. His time here had been both enjoyable and illuminating, but he hadn't forgotten that Kiiroth's family waited for his remains to have a proper funeral. Then there was the matter of the Confirmation Ceremony for Conrad. The sooner he had the official backing of the Ruulothi, the safer he would be from interference, and the sooner peaceable talks between their two species could begin.

Both of which were results well worth pursuing.

He felt off that morning, actually had felt off for the few days he had been on planet. He hadn't isolated the reason at first, putting it down to exhaustion from the time change and travel lag, plus his exertion from the past two days. But this day he noticed that everything was still heavier, slower, more exhausting.

The planet's Gravity was more than he was used to.

He asked about this and got a surprising answer. Due to their universal adoption of a single system of measurement based off atomic measurements and weights, they measured basic calculations in the same manner that the Galactic Community did. With the Galactic Standard being Eight Force Units of Gravity, this planet stood at Eleven Force Units. It was surprisingly close to their own home world of Earth, which had a Gr

The Void

Deepsight

26 Years After YFC

Sorjoy sat in the central chair on the Exodus Satellite's bridge, looking over numbers. “I knew leadership was sparse but I cannot have a single conversation with these Nite Dragons and have it kept secret!”

Cleo shook her head, “Seems the Niten Dragons have little need for secrets."

“At least we are aware of Geoffrey’s scheme,” Sorjoy heaved a sigh.

“Which you will not impede, in the least,” Cleo said, narrowing her violet eyes, “The one who is most likely to survive this catastrophe is my daughter, and if there’s any chance of getting her on this ship, I don’t care what we have to sacrifice to make that happen.”

Sorjoy growled, “Speaking of children, shouldn’t you be watching over our child Zagreus?”

Cleo smiled warmly, “Zagreus is being watched over by my half sister, Juventas, at the moment. She’s been very good with him. He likes her very much.”

Sorjoy narrowed his eyes on her, “Awful trusting, aren’t you?”

“I have my own collateral…” Cleo said, smiling, “Juventas offered to babysit as some… ‘bonding’ play, to which whenever Zagerus is under Juventas’s supervision, well, Eris is locked in her room,”

Greetings all, from now on personal thoughts will be portrayed in italics as to help smoothen reading experience as I thought it was already confusing enough that characters in this story can use telepathy to communicate. I will slowly go into earlier chapters when I'm able and implement this in past writing. My writing format changes will be shown at the end.

Thank you for reading and all the encouragement, please point out errors if its spelt wrong or punctuated too weird. It helps me to learn from my mistakes.

........................................................................

Max's ears and face burned red as he sit on the floor dazed from a result of his frenzied shout. He was not one to simply faint in the middle of a fight, but the last 24 hours had been one hell of a roller coaster.

His body ached, he had been administered some sort of drug that healed his foot after a gladiatorial match, and after a painstakingly tedious task of getting the collar off, he allowed another on.

"I fucked up." He croaked out with tears beginning to clog his peripheral vision. "Parents kicking off dead weight? I can take care of myself. Need to pay debt? I can work like everybody else... but I can't..." the stinging cold sensation of the collar pressed against his neck.

"I can't handle this." He finished. "I'm only human, yet when the universe's stars align to fuck me, they just don't go away until I make a single slip up. Then whole the world crashes down on me and nobody is willing to help. They call for action saying "Lets help solve world hunger or give the homeless somewhere to rest" but when it come to real contribution besides talk, they stand by like a pedestrian and DO NOTHING."

Hatred and pent-up contempt for the apathetic and high-class seeped through his soul.

"I'd gladly watch them all burn in hell if that meant I had to drag them there myself." Pressure and heat fused around him, choking him until something cool touched his exposed chest. Like a fire hose dousing a flaming house, this new thing extinguished some of the heat bothering him.

Blinking away his tunnel vision and looking down he discovered how the slime alien had lowered to his level and placed a gentle hand on him.

Finally like a suffocating bag was lifted off his face, the only thing he craved in the world now was bestowed upon him. A voice, but not just any lifeless and monotone sound that gave out orders. This voice was new, understandable and bled its heart out to him in

Part 28 can be found here.

https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/rn8izq/the_means_of_production_part_28/

She crouched awkwardly in the control room of her old ship, the tilt making it impossible to stand. It hadn't taken long to climb up the ships' sloping side, and to make her way here. What had taken time was carefully removing the panel holding the ships' data recorders. Those contained records of every log, every sensor, everything she had done until the crash. She slid both small black boxes inside the pouch at her hip, and made her way back to the airlock, and used the manual controls to exit the dead vessel.

It had only taken a few days to master the controls of her new, smaller ship, the simplified training guides obviously designed for someone with no flight experience. It had been a strange moment for her when the final section had been complete, and the ship had released the lockouts, giving her control. She could have left then, but something had stopped her, something she couldn't describe.

Instead she had returned to the base one last time. Slept in a now familiar bed in an equally familiar room. Walked the corridors and rooms that had become almost a second home. Sat and ate as she watched a seemingly never ending storm rage outside. She had thought once this place had trapped her, holding her captive, but now she knew what it was. It was a haven, a place that had healed her injuries, given her time to recover. Protected her. Her duty lay far from here, back with her people, and even there this place had given her a way back to them. And had asked nothing in return.

The ship powered up under her expert hands. As it slid forwards, the massive doors in front of her parted, letting the ship out onto a rain slick concrete apron. A simple selection from the autopilot would put her in orbit, but instead she chose to lift off manually. The ship responded almost eagerly to her touch, as if it wanted to fly free of gravity's restraints. A single pass is all she wanted, to see the parts of the base she knew were there but hadn't had access to. Over the familiar habitation complex, over the original landing site of the replicator unit, where it had all begun.

What greeted her caught her off guard. No mining or military facility, but building after building, all laid out in a careful grid. She zoomed a screen in, trying to peer through the rain. Every buildi

This is a Repost

OP is u/TheSleepyEldest/

TW: Infertility; Substance, Psychological, Emotional and Physical Abuse.

Mood Spoiler: >!Happy and Hopeful!<

ORIGINAL

I'm almost 30F and have a fraternal younger twin. My parents had us late after fertility issues, and had been told their entire pregnancy I was a boy. Severe gender disappointment, neglect, and copious amounts of emotional/financial/emotional abuse (I can explain if needed in the comments, but my parents are irredeemable and I will never speak to them again) basically ruined my entire childhood/teenage years. I left home at 18 and when I asked for my papers (IDs, SSN, etc.) I got them plus a cease/desist order from my parents. I haven't spoken to them and don't plan on it.

Recently my estranged twin sent me an email on my work email (which is attached to my NEW name because my parents gave me a unisex name, that I legally had changed when I was 21). The email was basically a sad vent/rant about how she wished I was around, how she thought our relationship should be because "we're twins! everyone says we should BE SO CLOSE" and her basically demanding (in a passive aggressive way) invites for our family to my upcoming nuptials. I don't know how she found out, had my work email, or was concerned she had some sort of memory issue.

(TW; physical abuse ahead)

When we were younger, my sister realized she was the golden child and could torture me via my parents. She used to hide her things in my room and send my dad to go get her "stolen" stuff back from my tiny room in the basement. Results varied from being padlocked in the basement and only being let out for school or mealtimes (I had a small bathroom with a sink in the unfinished basement), or physical beatings. My dad and mom both used to hit me. I "fell" a lot down the stairs or slipped a lot. My twin, when we were 17, shoved me down the basement stairs. I ended up breaking my arm, got a concussion, and needed stitches on a wound on my head. Worst injury I'd ever had. My parents forced me to back up the story of me falling because they didn't want my sister to get in trouble. My friends at the time helped me leave two months later after graduation because my sister enjoyed hurting me.

I found out three weeks ago that my husband's SIL (22F) had posted previously about my estrang

1. Silver sulfadiazine used as a topical cream to treat burns. It made WHO’s list of essential medicines, as an anti-infective medicine.
   1. Treatment of warts and corns usually in the form of a caustic pencil. The silver compound silver nitrate, is widely used, and is formed by reacting silver with nitric acid.
   2. SilverCoat Foley catheters are used in urology to prevent urinary tract infections from catheter use. Canadian company Covalon is pushing the boundaries on medical technologies that saves lives. This SilverCoat technology is one of them.
   3. Use in Radiology, silver halides are still being used in conventional x-ray film as an image receptor. Many third-world countries that don’t have access to advanced technology use this type of x-ray.
   4. Silver is used in bandages and dressings to prevent the spread of infection. There is also many uses as gels and ointments for minor scrapes and cuts.
   5. Surgical mesh. 3D Silver mesh to aid in support the organs or tissues during surgery. Loosely woven sheets made of either 3D gold or 3D silver.
   6. Conjunctivitis drops for newborn babies. Silver nitrate has been used for a long time as drops for newborns to prevent pink eye. However, this is slowly being replaced by modern antibiotics such as erythromycin.
   7. Prevent cavities with the use of silver diamine fluoride. Kids and cavities go hand in hand, so what better way to prevent that than with a little silver. Reported by DentistryIQ.
   8. Silver needles & sutures used by surgeons to close up wounds. This was first discovered in the early 1900’s by a man named Reuben Ottenberg.
   9. Silver bearing coatings for hip joint implants named as SMART-HIP. Bearings such as these, not only aid in preventing infection in implants but also reduce friction by silver’s self-lubrication for longer use and durability.
   10. Dental fillings are often composed of liquid mercury along with powder mixture of silver, copper, and tin to give it that ‘silver’ look.
   11. NASA utilized silver ions as a lightweight water purifier for the Apollo spacecraft. Instead of using traditional chlorine, NASA employed silver ions to be released in the water to destroy bacteria which is later then filtered out. Using a combination of copper and silver ions revealed to be effective in killing E. Coli, Staph, Strep, Salmonella and other common bacteria. The Russians are also known to use silver to purify water in orbit aboard the International Space Station.
   12. H

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

I — II — III — IV — V — VI — VII

December 13th-15th 1989

I was drunk and under the influence of heavy sedatives. For a couple hazy seconds I was blissfully unaware of my situation. There was no research, there was no institute, there was no impending danger, yet, as my blurry vision sharpened under the harsh light of the bedside lamp my throat seized up with fear. Constantin Markarov was standing above my bed. There was a pistol in his hands.

He told me, in no uncertain terms, that if I tried to call for help that he would shoot me on the spot. He was doing his best to appear calm but the pulsing veins on his forehead betrayed his restlessness.

He had come into my room to discuss my loyalty — not to Dr. Herkel but to the institute as a whole. Markarov broke into my room with a gun to gage whether I was willing to do the right thing to keep the dark knowledge safe. The quiver in his hands made it very clear what would happen to me if I was deemed unworthy.

He asked if I was going to tell Dr. Herkel about his plans. Still paralyzed with fear and sleep and the poison in my veins, all I managed to do was shake my head.

He asked if I was going to continue working within the confines of the institute once Herkel’s leadership would be usurped. With the threat of a gun in my face I wanted to shake my head yes, but my neck refused to move. More research, more research beneath the watchful eye of an organism I couldn’t comprehend — the suggestion was far too horrid. I wanted out. I wanted out and there was no way that I could lie.

Markarov took my silence for an answer. From the pocket of his coat he removed a syringe filled with a clear viscous liquid. It was far too dangerous for the institute to keep me alive, he said. The injection would put me out of

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

[FIRST][PREVIOUS][NEXT]

(Chapter title error, it's 115 to 118)

Chapter 115 Barry

Barry couldn’t believe his eyes.

The canine maiden stood, her back turned to him, leaning forward, growling, facing off the feline feral as her body flickered with dark energy. For a brief moment, she paused, looking over her shoulder at the human, before turning back to growl at the feline harder still.

Barry’s head spun, not wanting to waste his good fortune. His eyes darted around in an attempt to determine the quickest route to safety. His shoulder throbbed. The feline had gouged into it with her claws, blood was dribbling its way down his arm. The adrenaline was likely the only reason why he wasn’t incapacitated by the pain by now.

The moment the Hound moved towards the feral, Barry began to slowly inch away, trying to keep a careful eye out for any other familiar faces. Or rather, at the very least, he hoped to spot some way out of this nightmare. The fights happening all around were growing wild as those strange powers were flying all over. The ferals seemed to have stopped their push, but the remaining fights were all equally lethal to him if he got too close.

The Elves fought by summoning plants to their side, attacking the ferals from underneath or from above, arrows piercing through the moment they couldn’t escape. The Dark Elves, on the other hand, danced with their blades, seeking to cut the distance and approach their targets. The ferals for their part moved far more wildly. Most sought to attack through claw and fang, moving in from opposite directions and barely using enough coordination between each other. A few would throw elemental powers from a safer distance, lightning and fire being the most frequent. The battle was slowly turning to the advantage of the elves while the Dark Elves were barely managing to hold on.

A bark drew Barry’s attention back to the Hound. The noise had been loud and clear, powerful enough it startled everyone else. But especially the feline. The dark-haired maiden’s body darkened as she lunged forward, her form blurring as if, for a second, she lost her shape. The feral tried to dodge, jumping out of the way. Except the Hound had not been there, instead emerging ou

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Hello Ape Family, Ape Anna here again! How are you?

In my last post, where I discussed AMC's "Three Ways to Win," many Apes began commenting and asking what I thought about the token dividend idea pushed by Marc Cohodes. At the time, I was not informed enough so I refrained from giving my opinion.

But I thought I would provide some info today in the form of a short 101 answering some questions I see circulating, and try to give some helpful BASIC info to baby Apes with respect to how dividends work.

First of all... What is a Dividend?

• Put simply: A dividend is a payment issued by a company to its shareholders from its profits, or liquid reserves.
• Savvy investors (perhaps ones who suddenly come into a lot of money from a very large short squeeze event!) can actually earn a good chunk of passive income and pocket change off of their investments simply by parking money in stable, high-dividend yield companies.

this is just an example!

• Normally, dividend-paying companies issue regular or semi-regular payouts. BUT "special dividends" can be issued as a one-time thing. These dividends are usually tied to special events in the company's direction.

What happened with Overstock?

• A famous example we often hear about in the Ape community is that of Overstock's special crypto dividend, but not a lot of people have the background on this, so let me explain:
• Overstock was headed by an.... eccentric character named Patrick Byrne who, just before resigning from Overstock's board due to a reason that has to do with Russian spies, established a blockchain-based dividend he hoped would force shorts out of his company. Byrne really didn't like shorts.
• The dividend was going to be issued as an obscure cryptocurrency on tZero, a trading platform Overstock owned, with the stipulation that the tokens could not be traded for 6 months after issuance. The tokens were effectively parallel shares that existed as a 1 token for 10 owned shares offer.
• The plan was revealed in July of 2019, and while OSTK experienced an initial bump, it wasn't until the next year that things went p

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Do your worst!

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments