When my Dad found out I’d been secretly going to clown school...
...he soon wiped the smile off my face.
Did you hear about the woman who got thrown out of Mime School?
Apparently it was something she said…
I decided to drop out of school last night, and today I got an email that there was active shooter situation near my classroom
...I guess I really dodged a bullet there.
(believe it or not this post is based on real-life events 😬)
If you take the sh out of school...
My wife couldn’t believe I took my old high school bully out tonight.
While waiting for a school-related live stream, me and my friend decided to throw words at each other and make puns out of them. This is one of my most proudest puns.
My kids came out of school and told my partner they have made cards for her for Mother's Day. I asked for a card, but they said I had to wait until Father's Day. I told my boy I had made a card for him, and he could have it the day after tomorrow,
Why did the stormtrooper drop out of school?
Given that a case of the sniffles means staying home from school, we give my daughter a daily allergy medicine. My wife was giving her breakfast before school, and when I walked out, I asked if she’d had her medicine yet.
My daughter said yes, and I replied, “So you’re de-Claritin that you’ve had it already?”
Why did a pirate drop out of school early?
My first gig out of school was directing a TV ad for tampons.
Wow. Today in med school I found out bad stuff is generated by one's hips...
This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.
His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?
He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.
His father congratulated him. And then he said “That’s good son, maybe next time you’ll get a talking role!”
High school started out promising for me, but I ended up selling meat as a job.
I guess you can say I butchered my grades.
I had a girlfriend in high school that I dumped when I found out she was missing a toe on her left foot...
I guess that makes me lack-toes intolerant.
Why did the tree drop out of school?
He kept failing twigonometry.
I was thrown out of music school for plagiarism.
They thought I was stealing songs, but I was just taking notes.
I almost failed out of cosmetology school.
So I had to take a few makeup classes.
I got kicked out of school for getting married.
I was going for my bachelor’s degree.
I was going to be a doctor but they kicked me out of med school when they found out I was a coward...
The dean said, "It takes guts to learn anatomy."
They kicked me out of art school when my sculpture didn't work out as planned.
I reached my statue of limitations.
I recently found out that in most schools nowadays ...
Brass instruments are band.
Prisoner tunnels out of jail and emerges in a school playground shouting “I’m free”!
Little girl walks up and shouts “I’m four!”
Does anyone know where we find the handmade Mother's Day gifts the school sends out each year?
I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.
My high school did a musical of a guy taking a girl out to dinner...
Looked out my school bus window to be greeted with this
Did you hear about the cow who dropped out of school to start a computer business?
„Did you hear about the kidnapping at out school today?“
„No what happened?“
„The teacher woke him up.“
I just took my last exam before graduating out of culinary school.
The final was a piece of cake.
I was never able to ask my crush out on high school because I was math nerd
I guess I was 2² to ask her out
Which nursery rhyme got Sean Connery kicked out of pre-school?
Why did Dracula get kicked out of art school?
He could only draw blood.
TIL about Arda Djoques, a homeless woman in Baltimore who wandered into a school and pretended to be a substitute teacher for two weeks. Despite great reviews from her peers, when the school found out, she was forcefully thrown to the street.
What happens when a trashy person drops out of school?
I went to high school with a Buzzfeed writer, and I remember him offering me $20 to hang out with him and his friends.
Turns out it was Clique bait.
Why was the lightbulb kicked out of school?
Fish school is weird. Turns out its not the smart fish that take debate.
My daughter got kicked out of school for wearing black clothes and make-up
I don't get it, she just goth there.
Did you hear about the beautician who flunked out of school?
She didn’t do her makeup work
My co-worker just related to me a story about how her high school cross country team used to re-tell the same joke over and over through out the year.
I asked her if it was a running joke...
It's bad to skip school to go out bungee jumping with your friends...
After explaining to his parents that he was going to drop out of med school and instead focus on being a mime,
they said, "you don't say!"
The lead singer of Nickelback tried out for his school Christmas play...
But he never made it as a wise man.
While making dinner last night I asked my wife if she knew which celebrity failed out of cooking school for not chopping enough.
she had no idea it was Julianne Moore... and I had no idea her eyes could roll like that.
Why did the Orange drop out of school?
My school used to give out wintergreen lifesavers to students taking standardized tests
But gum is our new tester mint.
I just took my last exam before graduating out of culinary school.
The final was a piece of cake.
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