Saint Élie Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

## Lille OSC

###Arrivées

###Départs

## Paris Saint-Germain

###Arrivées

###Départs

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

CONTEXT: Early yesterday, I was browsing the sub and came across [this article] (https://noahpinion.substack.com/p/haiti-vs-the-dominican-republic) by one Noah Smith. [I disagreed rather strongly] (https://old.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/comments/onynq1/noah_smith_haiti_vs_the_dominican_republic_why/h5vk570/?context=3) with his conclusion- "The temptation, of course, is to throw all of the explanations in a bag and mix them together. If you do that, you arrive at a story like this". I think that an in-depth examination of the history of Haiti and the Dominican Republic, rather than being an irrelevant "just-so story", will in fact reveal why the two countries have diverged.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional historian- by all means, if you have any corrections and/or criticisms, I'd love to hear them!

Pre-Modern History of Hispaniola

As far as we can tell, the island that is today called 'Hispaniola' was first settled by the Taíno, an Arawakan people believed to have originated in modern-day Venezuela. It is believed that they arrived sometime around the year 1200 CE, and by the time of first contact with European explorers numbered somewhere around 500,000 (unfortunately, there are no surviving records from pre-contact times, so most of its pre-Columbian history is lost to us). In 1492, the Taíno were divided among five chiefdoms; Marién, Jaragua, Maguá, Maguana, and Higüey (interestingly, the first two chiefdoms correspond roughly with the present-day borders of Haiti, the rest correspond roughly with the borders of the Dominican Republic).

On December 6, 1492, Hispaniola was famously (re)discovered by the (in)famous explorer Christopher Columbus (you might have heard of him), who made contact with the local people. The Taíno were initially friendly- though that changed the following year when Columbus returned with a Spanish army and conquered the island, establishing the colony of Santo Domingo.

By all accounts, the Spanish conquest was a catastrophe for the natives. Mass enslavement, brutal forced labor, seizures of food, and harsh crackdowns on dissent all befell the Taíno, to the point where Columbus himself was recalled to Spain and imprisoned for tyranny and misrule. Worse still were the diseases the Spanish brought with them, especially smallpox, which wreaked havoc on the local population

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Calcium, nickel, neon

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Put it on my bill