Joe Biden and Kamala Harris go out for a morning run together

Kamala finishes in just under twelve minutes and Joe is already waiting for her at the finish line.

"How'd you do?" she asks him.

"I finished in 10 minutes and 46 seconds. That's got to be a new record among Presidents, right?"

"No" Kamala replies. "Bush did 9:11".

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chainsmoker88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Why didn't Joe run for office in 2016?

He was Biden his time.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/inTRONet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why hasn’t Joe announced his run for president yet?

I guess he’s just Biden his time

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dd0sed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
When Joe Biden announced that he was running for President

I felt so touched

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CMMIV
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Jack And Joe Enter A Plane

Everybody starts running around and screaming.

Why?

Because Joe said, "Hi Jack!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AV990
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Two guys were stranded in a desert.

The first guy was named Jim and the second guy was named Joe. They were starving, and dying of thirst. They kept walking in one direction hoping that they would get out of the desert before they died. They had been lost a long time, and it wasn't looking good.

Then, in a stroke of good luck, they found an oasis. In the oasis there was plenty of water and trees growing. On the trees, was every kind of bacon imaginable. Crispy bacon, soft bacon, even Canadian bacon (even though it doesn't really count). Joe says, "I'm going to go eat some bacon."

So Joe goes and gets some bacon out of a low tree.

Just as he takes his first bite, a gremlin jumps out of the foliage, and stabs him in the back with a knife.

Joe is laying on the ground dying, and his friend Jim comes up to him. Joe says in a warning, "Jim run away. It's not safe here!"

"Why not?" Jim asked.

"This oasis isn't what it seems! It isn't a bacon tree, IT'S A HAM-BUSH!!!"

And he died.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xnightshade2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2017
🚨︎ report
So theres these two beavers

one is named Joe and the other, Steven. Joe and Steven have a fire. Joe decides he's hungry so he grabs a pan and some sticks. Steven runs over and says "Joe what are you doing?" And says "im just grilling up some sticks." Steven immediately smacks the pan from Joe's paw and says "JOE THATS A NON STICK PAN"

πŸ‘︎ 123
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sparksio
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
🚨︎ report
On his presidential candidacy...

Joe is just Biden his time before he announces he's running for president.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dodgeball224
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2015
🚨︎ report
My Dad emailed me this joke this evening

"Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"

Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen took a sip of champagne.

"Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle"

The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"

Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, your Majesty?"

The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me."

"Yes! Very good." said the Queen.

Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden the same question. "Joe, answer this

for me."

"Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's

not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure," said Biden.

"Let me get back to you on that one." He went to his advisers and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.

Frustrated, Biden went to work out in congressional gym and saw Paul Ryan there.

Biden went up to him and asked, "Hey Paul, see if you can answer this question." "Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Paul Ryan answered, "That's easy, it's me!" Biden smiled, and said, "Good answer Paul!" Biden then, went back to speak with President Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle."

"It's Paul Ryan!"

Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face,

"NO, You idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

...AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS PRECISELY WHAT'S GOING ON AT THE WHITE HOUSE.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aznatheist620
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2014
🚨︎ report

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