Repairability Puns

And I've heard nothing since.

but it was a repost.

The technician told me it was expected. It was just the automatic faux-cuss

That's a long time considering they're working around the clock.

With an app-ointment

I don't know why because he told me earlier that he was a Freemason.

But I guess you rip what you sow

Apparently, reposting is good for karma

I told him:

Well, that's tubad now isn't it?

It’ll be called “Snitches Get Stitches”.

I'm a spin doctor.

I haven't heard anything since.

Marlon Bondo (hey, it’s as good as the Marlon Brawndo plant joke).

Once you start coming here, you won't be able to stop.

Fill every hole i can find

I have some many extra screws plz help

Make it sew.

It’s between 8am and 1pm

I had to deport it.

... So I brought it into the mechanic, a man of few words.

"Insurance?" He asked.

"None" I replied.

"Get some," He said "Next time Beep repaired."

Incidentally, Free Masons are not what they sound like.

None, its on the house.

They're through the roof.

• "Can't talk, busy camping," replied Tom, intent.
• "The French don't deserve our thanks," said Tom mercilessly.
• "Haven't you heard me singing in church?" Tom inquired.
• "I'll win this tennis game if I get one more point, " Tom deduced.
• "I didn't eat my T-bone tonight," said Tom mistakenly.
• "So you're asking about my mink coat," Tom inferred.
• "I'm wearing a watch around my wrist," said Tom with abandon.
• "I'm the most important salmon vendor," said Tom selfishly.
• "I was correct the first three times, and I am correct now," said Tom forthrightly.
• "Castration is reversible," Tom remembered.
• "I brought the dessert," said Tom piously.
• "I command my own private army," said Tom maliciously.
• "I'll order the same meat as last time," Tom revealed.
• "I've never swum in Egypt's longest river," said Tom in denial.
• "Et tu?" asked Tom brutally.
• "That's women for you," said Tom dismissively.
• "I'll have a bowl of Chinese soup," said Tom wantonly.
• "I eat everything," said Tom in jest.
• "I gave you your freedom, and I can take it away," said Tom deliberately.
• "Maybe if I rub this lamp something good will happen," said Tom ingeniously.
• "I'm never taking an Uber again," Tom derided.
• "That dog is a mongrel," Tom muttered.
• "It's too bad Babe isn't on our team," said Tom ruthlessly.
• "Maybe I should stop using worms to catch fish... or maybe not," Tom debated.
• "Hemingway is my favorite author," said Tom earnestly.
• "This drumming is too easy," said Tom without missing a beat.
• "This is a frozen dessert,” I screamed.
• "Now I have TWO duck feathers", Tom doubled down.
• "She would never answer her phone the first time, you always had to hang up once," Tom recalled.
• "Two plus five is seven,” Tom added.
• "I only have Diamonds, Clubs and Spades," said Tom heartlessly.
• "It's okay, the PlayStation still works," Tom consoled.
• "Capital punishment is mostly used on the lower classes," said Tom with poor execution.
• "Where are all of my old board games?" asked Tom cluelessly.
• "I might be acquitted," said Tom without conviction.
• "I've never dyed my hair red, but I'll try it," said Tom gingerly.
• "Ugh! I need to shave again," Tom bristled.
• "Whale hunting makes me so sad," Tom blubbered.
• "I'll quit smoking marijuana right now!" said Tom bluntly.
• "I like hot dogs more than hamburgers," said Tom frankly.
• "I signed it twice," Tom remarked.
• "I received a letter to take my car in for repair," Tom recalled.
• "I hate pale ale," sai

...or sew its seams.

Two Bee Detour Mend

When the clockmaker arrives he pulls out his tool bag and spreads it out across a table. He shines a flash at the face of the clock and says “Ve have vays of making you tock”

Brrr, refrigerator/freezer repair specialist.

You could almost say it turns them on

They’ll heel you, they’re good for the sole and can even dye for you.

So much memories.

Apparently someone ‘stole’ my battery overnight; so she gave my phone back to me, free of charge.

Thank you for my time

With a pumpkin patch!

courtesy of twitter:

https://twitter.com/BombChelleMama_/status/1446919683505065989

Just goes to show that truth is solder than fiction.

He’s an engine-ear

I haven’t heard anything since.

I've heard nothing since.

I've heard nothing since

I've heard nothing since.

I've heard nothing since.

I haven’t heard anything since!

Haven’t heard anything since

Haven't heard anything since

Haven't heard a thing since.

Haven’t heard anything since

I’ve heard nothing ever since.

I have heard nothing since.