I saw a lizard with angry red skin. It then turned orange! Then it turned yellow. Then green. Then blue. Then indigo, until it finally became a relaxing shade of violet.

Calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer chameleon.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
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Just some jokes about colours

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

  • a carrot

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

  • dung

What’s green and smells like red paint?

  • green paint

Whats red and bad for your teeth

  • a brick

I was diagnosed with colour blindness today,

  • I tell you, that came right out of the purple.

Colours making a phone call... Green green, green green....Yellow!

What colour is the wind

  • blew

What’s grey and can’t fly

  • a car park
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djgw88
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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My dad got a ticket driving home

Dad: "You'll never believe what happened to me today driving home!"

Me: "What?"

Dad: "Well, I was driving down a back road home from work. It was such a beautiful day. The sun was still shining, a slight breeze was rustling the trees, and all the leaves had changed colors. Yellow, orange, red... just a gorgeous view. I was doing about 55, not a car in sight, when I come around a bend and see a cop car parked on the side of the road. I slowed down, but tried not to slow down so quickly that it would be obvious. I carefully drove up past the cop, being extra careful to stay centered within the lines and maintaining my lower speed. It looked like I was all clear, but then from out of nowhere a turkey jumped out in front of my car! I didn't even have a chance to brake!"

Me: "Jeez that's crazy!"

Dad: "I know! It hit the front of my car, rolled up over the windshield and did a somersault before landing directly onto the hood of the officer's car. He immediately turned on his lights and pulled me over and gave me a ticket."

Me: "What?? But that's not your fault! It was the turkey! What did he even give you a ticket for?"

Dad: "He gave me a ticket for flipping him the bird. Hahahaha!"

Me: -___-

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoopaSte123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
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